Body Language

Your overall physical presence is incredibly important for attracting a woman and getting her excited enough to go to bed with you.

Your outside life reflects your internal life. People know this subconsciously; they don't realize it with their thinking portion of their brain. So you must pay attention to the details that will convince her that she wants to sleep with you.

Over ninety percent of a message between two people is communicated by nonverbal methods. This means the tone of your voice, the inflection, the speed, your body language, etc. Less than ten percent is communicated through your words.

There's a comedy skit where this guy talks about how you can communicate almost anything with the word "Dude." You can say it angry, inquiringly, happily, depressed, etc. And it's true. The word stays the same, but you can make it mean anything you want based on your tone of voice and body language.

Guess what? Men place more meaning on the verbal content (the words) of a message, and women place more meaning on the cues you give her with that message (the body language and tone). Her intuition knows what's going on underneath, and it does this without her understanding at a conscious level. I experiment with this all the time by having women tell me what they think is going on with other couples at a restaurant. Almost without fail, women get it right.

This is why it is so critical that you develop your ability to control your body and give off the vibe that you want her to pick up on. The following will brief you on how to perform the basics.

The most important part of your body language is the use of your eyes. No other part of you has as much impact as the power of your gaze. In order to use this part of your anatomy most effectively, you have to learn the rules of eye contact:

- Whenever you first lock eyes with a woman, you must hold her gaze for at least three seconds. It will seem like much longer when you actually do it, but you need to maintain eye contact for that long to show her that you are a Dominant male. It's very difficult to do this the first couple times, because we're so used to peeking and looking away. You may have to force yourself to hold a woman's stare for longer than a glance. Work at this until you can hold her stare for as long as necessary. Just remember to avoid making your stare too intense, so that you come off looking psychotic. You want to express your confident acknowledgement of her presence, not scare her into cowering before you.

- Don't look at her boobs or her ass. Or any other exposed portion of her body, for that matter, unless it's a completely neutral part of her and serves as a start to more conversation. For example, if she has a tattoo on her ankle, you can comment on it. The more you can control your stare, the less you'll give her the impression that you're coming on to her for sex, the better. She wants your eyes locked on hers.

- Don't look at other women while you're in your target's presence. She should feel that she has your undivided attention. If you stray and check out another woman, you're essentially saying to her: "I'm just looking for sex with any woman, not just you. You're not unique or special." And that will flush your chances.

- If you have a problem making eye contact, you can resort to an old trick that works like a charm: Instead of looking at her eyes, you can focus on a point at the bridge of her nose, or even on her eyebrows. She won't be able to tell the difference.

Now, for the rest of your body language, here are the rules:

- Talk slowly and deliberately. Choose your words carefully. If you talk like you've been cranked up for 48 hours on coke or methamphetamines, she's going to treat you like the freak that you are. Relax and slow down. You want to convey a kind of poetry with your speech, even if you're just saying her name. This takes some practice and discipline, because the first thing a guy tends to do is get excited when he finds a woman that's interested in him.

- Practice and use your winning smile. You should work at this in the mirror until you have a smile that looks real and is easily repeatable. A real smile should show a little of your teeth, crinkle your eyes a little bit shut, and almost border on laughter. You absolutely must have a smile that you can pull out on demand.

- When you walk, walk briskly, but with purpose. If you walk like you've got nowhere else to be, you won't impress her. She isn't looking for a slacker. A man with purpose commands attention. Walk like you've got a destination.

- Move slowly and carefully. Most guys let their nervousness show by turning into shaky, jerky pigeons when they're around women. You have to slow your movements down into a careful display of confidence. Imagine you're moving underwater, and you are forced to move with slow, fluid grace. Think about the message you want your motions to convey: You want her to feel calm and soothed in your presence, not anxious and hyper. Use your gestures to add depth to your words.

- Use touch to express your sensual interest, but with discretion. You never touch her breasts, her butt, or any other part of her body that could be misinterpreted as too forward too soon. You should touch her lightly and on parts of her body that are neutral, such as her arms, her shoulder, or the top of her back. You use touch to make it clear to her that you aren't looking at her as just another friendship possibility - you have romantic designs for her. (We'll cover using touch to seduce her when we get to Kinaesthetics.)

Body Language Basics

Body Language Basics

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