The Denial or the Takeaway

Human beings always take things for granted. It's our nature to take all our possessions for granted after a while. Think of all the stuff you own that you once treasured, but now you treat just like everything else. Your car was once a novelty, but that got old, especially after the first few times you had to wax it or repair it. Your big-screen television was cool, too, but you don't think it's as great now as when you first bought it and played that first X-box game on it.

There's a famous curse that says the worst thing you can wish on someone is that they get everything they want.

Women are just as susceptible to this as men. In order to move her forward toward being with you, you have to be willing to revoke or take away what you were once going to give her. This is related to the Principle of Scarcity. As you saw above, when you back off from your seduction, you give her room to feel your absence, and she'll start longing for the attention and the excitement once again. She'll be more eager when you return.

Every so often, you have to be willing to pull in your welcome mat and just take the opportunity away from her. You stop and say, "Look, maybe this is going to fast for you. I don't know if you've got what it takes to handle this. You should probably cool off. I'm thinking it's better that we stop for now. Maybe later, if it looks like you can handle it, but it's too much for you right now."

This is a lot like the old "reverse psychology" tactic you used as a kid, where you tell someone the opposite of what you want him or her to do in the hopes that won't want to obey you. We have a natural tendency to want to do what we want, not what someone tells us to do. (Hey, why do you think so many girls go out with those badboys? They're forbidden, and they know that what is forbidden to them is probably forbidden for a reason, and they want to discover why for themselves.)

The strategy of the takeaway is an old sales tactic, but it works in life, too. When you suddenly take away the opportunity, and then give it back later, you demonstrate that you have the self-discipline to deny them what they want as well as show them you don't have to have it either. Then, when you do give it back, they are twice as eager and grateful. You won't be taken advantage of - ever - if you use this strategy in your seduction.

Have you ever lost something important to you, and then gotten it back later? Remember that horrible feeling of loss, and then that relief you felt when it was found again? Like thinking you left your cell phone somewhere. You panicked, swearing to take better care of it and not lose it again if you could only get it back, and when you did, you felt so relieved. You took so much more care of it after that (at least for a few days.) This is the psychological affect you'll have when taking away an opportunity from her. (Assuming that you were able to spark her interest and attraction initially.)

How do you actually handle this with a woman? Let's say you're in a booth at a club, and you're making out with her. You need to stop before she's had enough, and gently push her back. "Whoah," you say. "This is getting pretty hot. I'm not sure if you're ready for this yet. Maybe we should just hold hands for a while." She'll smile, and probably go along with you, and then she'll keep trying to pull you back under her power again. The point is to keep her excited and feeling as if she wants you a little more than you want her. This keeps her energy flowing in the direction of your seduction goal. She'll keep moving forward as long as you don't run her over.

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