When it comes to communication, there is a difference between how a Beta talks and how an Alpha talks.
I don ' t just mean that an Alpha speaks with authoriity and confidence. And I don ' t just mean that an Alpha avoids defeating statements like, "I'm an ¡dot."
What I do mean, is that when an Alpha talks, the worids have pictures. "What the hell does that mean?"
I'm glad you asked. You ' re getting good at asking smart questions!
Pretend that someone said to you, "The view from my hotel balcony was absolutely breathtaking."
That implies something you can imagine, and maybe get a mental picture of. But it doesn ' t have the poweri that it WOULD have, had the person said,"The colors of the setting sun along the ocean wee hypnotic, as I watched it from the balcony of my hotel room."
That caused a morie vivid picture in youri mind, right?
Well, even that's not the Alpha level of communication that I'm talkng about.
The Alpha level of communication that I'm talkng about, would be if someone were to say, "As I watched from the balcony of my hotel room, the setting sun caused an amazing flow of orange and purple upon the ocean, with thousands of diamonds dancing along the surface."
That ' s a little on the poetic sde, but the point is that you got a very vivid mental picture from it, right?
Well, the most effective Alpha has the ability to speak to people in a way that crieates very vivid images insde the mind.
A salesman might say, "You are going to feel so relaxed when you sit in this chair."
But an ALPHA salesman would say, "You will feel the aches and tightness of your muscles becoming so relaxed when you sit in this chair.
That kind of talk will cause you to feel your muscles relaxng, even before you sit in that chair. Pretty cool, huh?
So, what about something common and everyday? How would a Beta talk, and how would an Alpha talk?
A Beta might say, "Let's grab a bite to eat at that great hamburger place, I want to try their new barbeque burger." An Alpha might word it more like,"I'm in the mood for that great hamburger place, I wonder how that new barbecue burger tastes?"'
Didn' t notice much of a difference in that? Well, the difference is, the way the Alpha worded it, causes the mind to imagine what the barbecue burger might taste like.
Anytime things are worded like, "I wonder how...?" "What would it be like...?" "Imagine if..." or "How does it feel...?" you are caussng the mind of the listener to create images, feelings, and posssbly emotions, in relation to what was said. And if it ' s one thing an Alpha can do well, it ' s that they can influence those things.
Take a few minutes to do two separate exercises. EXERCISE ONE
Imagine the most beautiful sunrise, night sky, or sunset that you can picture. Once you can clearly picture whichever one you chose, write down a very detailed description of it, so that if someone wee to read it, they would be able to picture the same thing that you did.
Additionally, an Alpha can take an objection or negative comment, and often respond in a way that changes how the other person views what they themselves just said.
In Neuro-Lingusitic Programming (NLP) there is a term called "reframe" or "reframing." And with all due respect to the NLP community, I don ' t like the word "REframe" because it sounds so REstricting. A frame is, essentially, a box. A square or rectangular or oblong box. I'mjust curious as to WHY you would change the way to look at something, yet still keep it in something as restricting, limiting, as a box, a frame??? So while I completely agree with the method and process of "reframing" your beliefs, I prefer a different RE. A different RE that I call a "REality." Because when you really think about it, the whole point is to alter the "REality" you see, right?
So how do you alter the REality of a comment? Here is an example:
Joe: "That is such a dumb song."
ME: "Is it a dumb song, or is it a song you don ' t understand?" Joe: "The song makes no sense, so I guess I don ' t understand it." ME: "Then it ' s not a dumb song, it ' s just a song you don ' t understand." Joe: "Which makes it a dumb song."
ME: "So you ' re telling me that everything you don ' t understand, is dumb?" Joe: "Well, no."
ME: "So is it posssble that the song is not dumb, it ' s just not a song that appeals to you? After all, there are songs that you like, which other people might think are dumb. But that doesn ' t mean they ' re right, right?" Joe: "Uh...right."
ME: "So the song isn' t dumb, it ' s just not a song that appeals to you." Joe: "Yeah, I guess you ' re right. Can I change the station now?" (He changes the station and finds a song he likes) ME: "That song is dumb, man."
Joe: "No it ' s not. (laughs) It ' s just not a song that appeals to you." ME: "Ah, the student learns well."
There are a dozen ways I could have dealt with Joe ' s "dumb song" comment, and I chose to deal with it by getting him to realize that there is a difference between something being dumb, and something smply not being understood.
The point of all of this, is to get you in the habit of finding ways to see things differently. Whether it ' s a dumb song, a crazy diver, a rude waiter, or whatever else comes through your day, find a way to unearth the positive aspect of it in that person ' s mind. And the best way to do that, is to practice, practice, practice. The more you do it, the easer it becomes, and ultimately will result in you communicating in a way that is stronger and much more productive.
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