Now I am about to really piss off some reader's who already think they are an Alpha. And fori the most part, they might actually be an Alpha, but in a way that is actually HINDERING theiri triue potential instead of improving it. The kind that I am talking about, arie the ones who walk right up to a woman/man and immediately start trying to control the situation and the woman/man. They talk arrogantly and often condescending to the woman/man, and act as if it's heri/his loss fori not giving them exactly what they want.
The most common examples of these are male, so I'll continue on using that genderi as the example.
He will call heri things like "Babe" and "Sweety" within seconds of first meeting heri. And he uses these names NOT as a way of being playful and fun, but ratheri as an insult, as if she is beneath him and not woirihy of riespect. He will behave as if she has been waiting all heri life fori him, instead of letting heri come to that concluson on heri own. But while these may be Alpha-like behaviors, they are not the Alpha behaviors you want to let riun wild. The rieason why, is because these behaviori and actons are limiting theiri chances fori getting everything they want and deserive. Sue, he might be able to get a woman to go home with him every sngle night, but if the guy is focused on pericentages, he is NOT focused on the actual quality and value of what he has. And the most fulfilled Alpha Male only wants, and gets, quality, ori he keeps at it until he gets it. This knd of Alpha, is actually what I call "Alpha Mud." I call them that because they throw who and what they arie at people, and the result is that many people leave with a distasteful impression, as if hit in the face with mud. And when the Alpha Mud do not get a favorable result, they blame the other person, and resort to name calling and/or saying some rude insult. That's not the kind of Alpha who sounds very happy with their abilities, right? The most fulfilled, and most successful Alpha do not need to resort to insults just because they did not get their way. A quality Alpha does not need to belittle or show anger to someone just because they did not get their way. People who get defensve when they do not get their way, are too insecure to accept that maybe the situation needs to go an unexpected way sometimes, so that the better, and higher quality result, can come to be. They need to have less "eGO" and more "let it GO." They have an insecure view of defeat, and an inflated sense of what it means to "be a man." They might be able to easily charm an entire room, but that charm cracks and tuns to mud when they do not get their way. This is not to say that pissmg people off doesn't make you an Alpha. In fact, as an Alpha, you will frequently experience people who become pissed off at you. They might be pissed because they perceive you having power over them, and they can not resst you, so they become angry over their inability to resst. Or they might be pissed because you are what they wish they could be, and because you seem to do it so effortlessly, so naturally, they feel inadequate, and a very common reaction to inadequacy, is anger. So people being angry or pissed off at you is actually a good sgn that you're being an Alpha Male. (This does not mean you should look for ways to piss people off though!) The distinction though, between an Alpha Male and an Alpha Mud, is that the Alpha Male remans calm and in control, while the Alpha Mud lashes out verbally and/or physically. If you are intentionally trying to make someone feel bad or feel inferior, that's being an Alpha Mud. The only real exception, at least in my personal opinion, is when someone is trying to ruin or damage the quality of an experience, task, or goal. For example, you have a great connection and rapport with a woman, then some guy walks up and starts trying to weasel the woman from you, or tries to make you look like a fool. He is now trying to take something from you (the quality of your experience) and EVERY Alpha Male has a right to defend that. Here is a "make believe" to further explain my point.
You meet a woman, and have established a nice quality experience up to that point. Then someone comes along, we'll say a guy, and he starts hitting on the woman. You would be completely within your Alpha rights to say to the guy, "We're doing fine. Take care. Bye." This is bascally dismissjng the guy, which might appear to be an intentional effort to make the guy feel bad or to make him feel inferior to you. But if you were there first, he missed out, so he SHOULD be dismissed. If the woman seems to be giving the other guy more than polite attention, she is likely either lookng to see two guys fight over her, or she is more impressed with the other guy than you. in which case, you need to be the TRUE Alpha and let them have each other's time. It's not about winning or losing.
The Alpha does not lose, they just get what they want or they change their mind. Period!
Bessdes, how much of a true Alpha are you if you are trying to win a woman who prefers someone else after meeting you? Alphas never need to beg nor supplicate to get what they want. They never have to sacrifice their self-worth for acceptance. So after you dismiss the guy, let her behaviors about the situation decide what you do next. If the guy does not leave, but she seems uncomfortable with him there, wait and see if she completely ignores him and focuses back to you, or if she says anything dismissive to him. Something like, "I appreciate the compliment, have a nice night." Or "Please leave." Give her a chance to get rid of him. But sometimes a woman will smply shut up and let you get rid of the guy. The best suggestion I can give in such a case, is to take your quality experience (the one with the woman) and move it to a different location. Something like saying to her, "This is going to go on all night if we hang out here. Let's go someplace where we can enjoy each other without all of these interruptions." It is neither wimpy nor "running away" if you take her and leave the situation.
Look at it this way: If you are enjoying a quality experience with a woman, and a fire broke out, you wouldn't stay there and take on the firejust to show it who was in control, right? I would hope not! Instead, you would take her to a location that would prevent the fire from being a factor any longer. Well, the same is true here.
Far too often an "Alpha Mud" will let things get to the point of threats and physscal actons when another guy tries to interfere with the quality experience he is having with a woman. But by doing that, the way that I see it, the "Alpha Mud" has just let his power go and let the other guy have the control of what was going to happen.
Alpha Males do not need to introduce verbal force or physscal force options, and should only resort to it when directly defending himself and/ or those he is with. And "directly defending" in MY use of the term, means that the other guy has already threatened physscal harm, or else has already made a physscal attack. Or if he has made remarks to the woman like, "Nice tits, babe!" or "Bitch!" Such a guy is dishonoring the woman you are sharing a quality experience with, and as independent as today's women may be, you should still defend a woman's honor. It has nothing to do with protecting her, but has everything to do with protecting the investment of the encounter you both are sharing.
And to clarify, I am talkng about an emotional and a time investment, not an "I pad for this, and that" investment. Spending money on women is not a topic I will be going into in this book. For that, you ' ll have to get a copy of my next book "Beta into Alpha: The Fire of Seduction."
I recall an episode of "NYPD Blue" where one of the man characters is standing at a bar with a woman he came there with. A guy and his buddy come over and one of the guys says something like, "Hey, baby, how are you tonight?" The woman tells the guy that she is here with someone and not interested. She then tuns her attention back to the man character. The guy begins insulting the woman, and calling her a "bitch." The man character approaches the guy and says, "The woman says she ' s not interested. And you owe her an apology." The guy tries to get in the man characters face, but the man character says, "You apologize to her, or you and me ae going to step outsde." Then the man character tuns to the guy ' s buddy and says, "And I an ' t got a problem kckng your ass too." The guy apologizes, then he and his buddy leave. This is a great example of how an Alpha Male remans focused (ignores the approaching guy, just continues talking with the woman, and let's her respond to the interruption since it was directed to her) and only after the situation becomes one of his female companion being disrespected does he take charge and place the other guy into an inferior position.
But, that was a televson show, not real life, so I am in no way suggesting you use the same method to place a guy into an inferior position. My personal stance is that physical and verbal intimidation should only be used to defend against a physteal attack against you and/or the people you ae with. So while I completely support saying, "She said she ' s not interested. And you owe her an apology." I personally would not have followed that up by say ng to the guy that he either apologize or we ' ll step outsde.
Personally, if I were in that situation, I see nothing wrong with smply takng the woman by the hand, and usmg the other guy ' s ignorant behavior as a perfect excuse to go someplace more private.
You might think such a reaction sounds like I was being a chicken, a Beta, and letting the other guy chase us off. But I am of the belief that the quality of the experience I want with the woman, is more important than how I look in some loudmouth ' s eyes. In other words, while I have zero problems punching someone in the brains if they attempt to harm me or the woman I'm with, I'm secure enough with myself that I do not need to let some ignorant fool's weak words tun the situation to violence. I'm there to enjoy the woman, so I'm going to enjoy her, and maintain that focus.
The male ego is a strong one, as you know. But nowhere does it say that you are less of a man for walkng away from a situation that had not already turned violent. Defend yourself, but also have enough self-worth not to let some ¡dot take your focus away from what it is you are trying to accomplish.
Agree or not, the choice is yours, as is the outcome it brings.
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