For many people, eating at a restaurant by him or her self, or gong to see a move alone, is very uncomfortable. And it ' s notjust because they might have Autophobia (fear of being alone). And it ' s not always because they have safety concerns. (though that is logical in terms of women, who have natural safety concerns that men do not)
Some people have this discomfort, because they are insecure as to what they perceive it says about them. ("I'm so unpopular I can't even find someone to eat with me/see a movie with me.")
It ' s also an insecurity you feel, an insecurity you accepted, for whatever reason you chose to believe it.
I know a few women who would rather stay home, and be bored, just because they can ' t find someone to go out to eat with them or to go to the mall with them or see a move with them.
I know a woman who is uncomfortable going out to eat alone, but is not as bothered about seeing a move alone (When I asked her what made the difference, she replied, "At least a movie theatre is dark, so no one can see that I'm by myself."" This same woman has the internal fear that if she went out to eat alone, she thinks the other people there might be judging her, and she gets uncomfortable seeing couples dining together while there she is dining alone. That ' s petty sad.
I'm not saying that to be mean, I'm saying it because even though it may appear to be no big issue, it affects such a HUGE aspect of how you move though the life that you're living.
And I know that due to the smple law of averages, someone reading this recognizes this behavior in themselves.
Maybe that "someone" is you?
The smple truth is, if your world is one of, "I'm too uncomfortable/embarrassed to be seen at a restaurant /bar/ club, whatever, alone,"' then you are attaching your value, your self worth on OTHER people ' s opinion, or at the very least, your PERCEPTION of their opinion. Having perceptions of what negative views OTHER people might have about you, and feeling that "embarrassment" before it ' s actually happened, is a bad habit to continue, and will weaken your ability to unleash your natural Alpha. Besdes, any true Alpha is empowered by their own feelings, their own sense of self worth, not the feelings of what others might have about them. (Ill be detailing this more in the "Rejection Does Not Exst" chapter.)
And before someone jumps in and says, "Well, isn' t one of the sgns that you ' re a successful person, an Alpha, that you ' re never somewhere like that alone?" I have news for you: THE OPPOSITE IS TRUE!
To be an Alpha means that you don ' t always hove to have someone with you when you go out someplace. To be an Alpha means that you can find value in enjoying a meal/movie/whatever, all by yourself. To be an Alpha means takng the time to enjoy the luxury of your own company. If you can ' t find value in doing things alone, then you are accepting that you require external (other people) sources in order to feel happy. Understand that it sure is nice to enjoy the experiences of a meal or a move or whatever, with someone, but the key is not to depend on other people also being with you, for the time to be a pleasurable one.
By enjoying time someplace alone, frees you to make new experiences with people, without ignoring the guest you would have come with. And take it from me, some amazing experiences have occurred because someone saw that I was alone, which eliminated the "oh, he's/she's with someone, and I don't want to look like a fool interrupting them" (And in MYreolity, you're never "interrupting" the couple, you're octuolly seeing if you con enhonce their experience, while ot the some time enhoncing whot is olreody quolity tme with yourself.)
If you can not enjoy the value of your own company, your own solitude, then you will not reach the Alpha level that you desre. Period! The perception you have about yourself, has a direct influence on the knd of people you daw toward you. So take a serious look at your peer group, the people you associate with, and you ' ll realize more about yourself than you may not have noticed before now.
So here is an exercise for you, which will ass^t in eliminating the "couple craving" you may have, and replacing it with what I call "The Lone Wolf Reality."
Was this article helpful?