World of Things to Be Curious About

Heart Brakes

We ail have a tendency to fall into habits and patterns that constrict our lives, but which we have trouble breaking nevertheless If you stay sequestered in your own little world waiting for Phnce or Princess Charming to come knocking at your door, you may be waiting until the day you die. Take that bold step out your front door (literally or metaphorical lyjr and be seduced by life! ^___-, . ...-*

Heart Brakes

We ail have a tendency to fall into habits and patterns that constrict our lives, but which we have trouble breaking nevertheless If you stay sequestered in your own little world waiting for Phnce or Princess Charming to come knocking at your door, you may be waiting until the day you die. Take that bold step out your front door (literally or metaphorical lyjr and be seduced by life! ^___-, . ...-*

There are some folks (not you, I hope) who constantly complain of boredom. To tell the truth, I've always been stunned to hear people say they're bored. In my opinion, boredom is an outgrowth of fear or simple laziness, or perhaps it is nothing more than a failure of imagination. Unless you are locked up in solitary confinement, boredom is almost never a result of there being "nothing to do."

Are you 3 person who inifcts, "I'd be bored1 if I couldn't work"? Pf you've iet your job become alJ that you are, u/ftati left when you punch out for the day? It'i wonderful to love your work (I certainly love minc)—but don't forget that your job is something you do, not AomeiluVigyoLi are. Make room in your life for a life. There's nothing seductive about being a workaholic.

Are you 3 person who inifcts, "I'd be bored1 if I couldn't work"? Pf you've iet your job become alJ that you are, u/ftati left when you punch out for the day? It'i wonderful to love your work (I certainly love minc)—but don't forget that your job is something you do, not AomeiluVigyoLi are. Make room in your life for a life. There's nothing seductive about being a workaholic.

To those who are chronically bored, I would ask you to consider this: There is a whole fabulous world just outside your door, and an infinite number of absolutely fascinating things to do.

Your task, then, is to allow yourself to be seduced by the world around you, to be overwhelmed by the siren song of new ideas, experiences, and people. In the final analysis, nothing is more seductive than a person who has been seduced by life. And as for boredom.. .well, the cure for that can be summed up in three words: Look around you.

Get Current

Simply broadening your perspective on current events makes a statement about your own level of interest, and shows the person you're talking to that you are truly enamored of the world around you.

Ask the Love Coach

You can expand your perspective on world Cvenh by exploring news media beyond the daily newspaper and ioeaf news channels., Short-wave radio, cable channefj such ai CNN InternationaJj and the Internet are ail excellent sources of news with a worldwide perspective. Or visit a newsstand in your area; many of these have a large inventory of news magazines, and journal!, a? weil as newspapers from ail over the worid.

Although many of us get the fast-food version of the news from television networks, the "sound-bite" format of TV news reports just barely skims the surface of a story. For the most part, there's time for only the most sensational details of any given story. To really understand what is going on in any arena, it's necessary to read, listen to, and see any and every source you can get your hands on. And, yes, not only will you become truly seduced by life, but that seduction will be contagious, making you truly seductive to those around you ("Who is this interesting person?!").

Cultural Seduction

Before we even begin discussing culture, I think it is important to clearly define the word. In this context, the typical image that comes to mind is one of operas, classical music, Shakespeare, and those subtitled foreign films that many people pretend to understand, but don't. For many, even the thought of "culture" is off-putting. But the picture changes dramatically if you consider that culture is, by definition, any and all of the following:

• A particular civilization at a particular stage

• The tastes in art and manners that are favored by a social group

• All the knowledge and values shared by a society

• Refinement in tastes

"Okay, so culture is a lot more than snooty ladies with opera glasses," you may be saying, "but what does it have to do with seduction?" Well, as we discussed in Chapter 1, there are many ways to be seduced. And some of the most profoundly seductive experiences take place not in bedrooms, but in art galleries, museums, and even opera houses.

David is still in awe of what happened to him recently. He says, "I remember a time when I thought that to watch an opera was more boring than watching someone change a flat tire. You couldn't drag me to an opera for any amount of money. Then I started dating Rachel, who was somewhat of an opera buff.

"Of course I didn't hold it against her," he says, smiling, "but I was in no hurry to share any 'night at the opera' that didn't involve the Marx Brothers. Then Rachel got tickets to Carmen, and she really wanted me to go with her. I was reluctant, of course, even though she told me it's one of the most popular operas ever created. I protested, but Rachel refused to accept that as an excuse. She explained the story to me, and I have to admit it was starting to sound sort of interesting. Finally, she talked me into going."

To make a long story short, David was utterly blown away by this passionate tale of a Gypsy femme fatale who seduces an honorable young officer of the guard. "Carmen," explains David, "is all about seduction. The character Carmen is one of the most seductive women in any opera, film, or book. This is definitely a woman who's comfortable in her own skin, completely at ease with her sexuality."

Seeing his first opera was an eye-opening experience for David, and experiencing Carmen together was incredibly seductive for David and Rachel. David won't go into details, but his smile clearly states that the magic of that evening lasted long after the final curtain.

How about you? Even if you're not game for the opera, there are many ways to feed your hunger and broaden your cultural horizons. Treat yourself to these experiences:

• Check out your local library or bookstore. Walk into a library or bookstore, and really look around. Think about how many books there are that you would like to read, and how many you'll never read. Just for the fun of it, check out or buy a book by an author whose work you've never read, but whom you've been curious about. Or try a completely different genre than you usually read. If you normally read nothing but science fiction, pick up a mystery or a book of literary essays. If you're a self-help-book aficionado, read a humor book for a change. But no matter which genre you choose, just for good measure, pick up a collection of literary erotica as well, such as Anais Nin's Delta of Venus.

• Lend an ear to your favorite music store. Go into a music store and look around at all the different kinds of music you've never heard. Sit in one of the listening booths and experiment with different categories of music to which you don't ordinarily listen. If you're a classic-rock fan, try listening to some world music or something classical. If you're a jazz fanatic, check out some salsa or reggae. Then buy that "new" music, take it home, and listen to it. But don't just play the music; create a completely sensual experience for yourself. If you bought some hot Latin tracks, let loose with some sultry dance steps to match (and it doesn't matter if you don't know how to mambo; nobody's watching but your cat, right?). If you bought Yanni or Enya, light a few candles and some incense, step into a warm tub infused with aromatic oils, and lose yourself in the ethereal world created by the music.

• Meander through a museum. Pay a visit to an art museum and really see the paintings and sculptures. Indulge your sensual imagination. Guys, when you step in front of that Gauguin, don't just see a two-dimensional representation of a tropical scene; think of lovely and uninhibited Tahitian women slathering warm and fragrant oils all over your body. Women, when you look at that Rubens or Renoir, think of your own body being gazed upon by an artist, and then lovingly recreated on canvas. (Oh, and don't forget to notice that the women in these paintings are not anorexic fashion-model types.) Beyond focusing on the purely sensual aspects of the art works, make an effort to drink in the richness of the artists' experiences and feelings—and you will deepen the richness of your own persona.

Whenever you read a book, listen to music, or look at a work of art, try to feel the story behind it. Realize that behind every book is an author who had dreams, hopes, and hungers. Behind every musical score is a composer whose soul cried out for expression. And behind each of these creators was a full life, perhaps lived in a time and place foreign to you. Simply by absorbing some of the seductive elements of the artists, and all the passions of their cultures, believe me, your own level of seductiveness will increase a thousandfold.

Outside the Nine to Five

Body painting? Butterfly collecting? Tarot card reading? Tandem bike racing? It doesn't really matter what it is—everyone should have a hobby. They're wonderful things because, by simply finding something that sparks your interest and passion—and then acting on that interest and passion—you are adding dimensions and facets to your personality that will enrich your life. Most likely others will see and find your passion attractive, too.

Hobbies also give you confidence and increase your sense of self-worth. Rhonda, for example, had always been interested in painting, but thought it was one of those talents she just didn't possess. Then one summer, just for the heck of it, she took an art class, and ended up painting a startlingly beautiful red geranium. She hung the picture in her kitchen, and now every time she sees that lovely red geranium, she feels better about herself. "It's because I accomplished something I never would have imagined I could accomplish," she told me.

How about you? What's your hobby? If you don't have one, and don't have any overwhelming interest that you could turn into a hobby, think back to when you were a child. Recall some of the things you were interested in then. Often, as adults, we put aside the things that excited us as children, yet our interest remains somewhere below the surface. Just acknowledging and rekindling that long-forgotten passion can awaken in you the endearing qualities that will make you more desirable to other people.

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