Aik the Love Coach

Sharing your sexual fantasies with each other can bring you closer together, and make your ses life better than ever. However, this type of sharing will be seductive, and, inevitably, bring the two of you closer, only if it takes place within the context of a trusting and intimate relationship.

The key word here is "harmless." Obviously, you don't want to do anything that will damage the relationship—whether it be with your newly seduced partner or a longtime love—or compromise the health or safety of you, your partner, or anyone else. Furthermore, fantasy should be only a supplement to your sex life; it should never become your entire sex life. It should absolutely never be a substitute for the intimacy of good lovemaking. With these caveats in mind, let's explore the world of erotic fantasy and games a little more closely. We'll look at some of the most common fantasies of men and women, and I'll give you some suggestions on how you can incorporate them into your own sweet seduction.

some occasional spice to your love pJay. However, if either of you reaches the point where a fantasy or sex game becomes an absolute prerequisite (or sexual desire or climax, consider the possibility that the relationship is in trouble. Wo/k on rediscovering the attraction that brought you together ir> the first place.

Preventing Fantasy Faux Pas.

Before we go any further, let's talk more about safety. Whether the two of you decide to act upon your fantasies, talk with each other about them, or just keep them inside is a matter of personal choice based on your own comfort levels and the state of your relationship. Here are some principles to remember for safe fantasy sex:

• Beyond the obvious factors of physical safety (a33 laying out of trouble with the law!), your first concern should be the emotional safety of both partners. Do not pursue, even on an imaginary level, any fantasy that makes either of you feel insecure or uncomfortable.

Heart Brakes

Many couples resort to sexual

Heart Brakes

Many couples resort to sexual fantasies and games out of boredom when their relationships begin to get a Jittle stale. It's okay to use erotic fantasizing and game playing to add

• Make your mate the star of all the fantasies or erotic dreams you share with him or her, even if your fantasy was originally inspired by someone else. Remember, the point of fantasy and erotic games is to bring the two of you closer together. Use the energy of fantasizing to steam up your relationship, not take away from it.

• Remember that not every fantasy is an indication of a real desire. Her fantasy about being ravished by a swashbuckling pirate doesn't mean she has a secret rape wish. His fantasy about having his own harem for a day doesn't mean he's not a one-woman man at heart (and in practice).

• When in doubt about acting out—don't do it. Be especially cautious with any fantasy that involves a third person. I've coached many couples who have acted out this fantasy, and in almost every case their relationship was harmed—often irreparably—by bringing a third person into their love play. Some things are better left in the realm of fantasy.

Continue reading here: Sustaining the Spice with Sexy Play

Was this article helpful?

0 0