Alk the Love Coach

There's a bonus to having a hobby: it gives you something to do on a Saturday night besides feel sony for yourseff if you don't have anyone to go out with, When you're thoroughly engrossed in organising a collection of stamps, researching the value of a rare limited-edition print, or enjoying that sublimely illustrated «Hectors' edition of Fanny Hilt, you'IT find you don't have the time or the energy to wallow in self-pity, or to worry about what you should be doing on a Saturday night.

The Freewheeling (or Sky Diving or Sailing or Rock Climbing) New You.

I had a client who took a vacation by himself because he decided that he wanted to learn to fly-fish. He went to Idaho, and for a couple of weeks, he fully immersed himself in fly-fishing. This man had gone through a difficult divorce, and when he left, he was very scattered and upset. He thought his life would never turn around. But when he came back, I barely recognized him. Looking more like Robert Redford than his old self, he was tan, he was happy, and he was incredibly sexy.

I asked him, "Something's very different about you. What's the change? Did you meet someone?"

He said, "No. That fly-fishing just blew me away. I know it sounds hokey, but I felt like I became one with the universe. When I caught a fish, I felt competent and self-reliant. When I ate the fish, I felt nourished.

"I feel better now than I've felt in years. Instead of feeling like there's nothing left for me, I feel there are so many choices of what to do with my life—so many things that I really don't know where to begin. I can't wait to start."

The changes in this man's life, and in the man himself, were dramatic. A year later, he had found a new love and remarried. From there, he had the confidence and strength to go out and build a whole new life.

How extraordinary it is that this man's solitary vacation, doing something he had always wanted to do, changed his entire life. Ask yourself what kind of experience could change your life like that. Then get going!

Soul Searching in Seoul

Robert Louis Stevenson wrote, "I travel not to go anywhere, but to go. I travel for travel's sake. The great affair is to move." And a great affair it is, indeed. Traveling to new places, experiencing new people and different cultures, will inevitably broaden your own perspective, making you a far more interesting person to be around. Just the fact that you are interested enough to seek out these new experiences adds to your personal appeal.

To me travel is synonymous with education, adventure, and some of the most enchanting experiences life has to offer. I have seen many of the world's most intriguing places. Yet there are so many wondrous spots I haven't seen yet, and want to (Australia and India are tops on the list).

When I meet someone who has traveled to these or other fascinating places, I feel immediately attracted to him. Why? If he has been someplace that I'm interested in, he has some new perspective that I want him to share with me. If we have traveled to the same places, there is a common experience that we share, which can create an immediate bond.

Heart Brakes

No rn^ttCr how rich and varied your life experience! have been, don't make a habit of blurting out your whole life story to anyone who will listen. That's a real turn-off to most people. Don't ever feel compelled to give every bit of information about yourself ali at once. Instead, exude confidence, wrap yourself in a bit of mystery, and you will be alluring, enticing...and seductive, v-__/

And the travel doesn't have to be some costly, extensive journey halfway around the world. You'd be surprised how much even little day trips around your home area can provide in the way of meeting and getting to know new people, and how different a culture can be, only a few miles down the road. So check the tour guides, call a travel agent, or just fill the car with gas and take off. There's a wonderful, exciting world out there, and maybe a whole new you, just waiting to be discovered.

Continue reading here: Being Genius Enough to Admit to Ignorance

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