Ask the Love Coach

Darlene and Susan tad been close friends for yean. Darlene was dating a man named Brian, i who made no secret of the fact that he found Susan attractive, too. At irrst Darlene really didn't mind, because Brian limited his attention to harmless flirtation. Susan did nothing to encourage Brian, as the last thing she wanted to do was to damage her friendship with Dadene.

Thu sex between Brian and Darlene was passionate and loving at first, and as time went on, they began injecting fantasy into their se* play. This is when the trouble began. Brian's favorite fantasy was to have sex with Darlene and another woman. Darlene had no problem with the fantasy itself, because she knew this is very common among men. However, Brian became obsessed with having Susan as the other woman, Darlene was a little uncomfortable with a fantasy so close to home, but she played along with it on an imaginary level-

Then Brian became more insistent about bringing his fantasy to reality. He began dropping not-so-subtle hints in Susan's presence, The tension btfttveen Brian and Darlene escalated until finally Darlene ended up breaking off her relationship with Brian, Fortunately, -she and Susan are still fhendi-

When sharing the fantasy of bringing a third party into your bed, don't make it a Friend or someone else you both know or see often, Use an imaginary person, or some attractive but anonymous face in the crowd you've both seen. Remember, you want to use fantasy to bring the two of you c'oser together, not to put someone or something between you.

The Naked Eye.

Since men are so intensely visual, most of them have at least some voyeuristic tendencies. To feed your man's voyeuristic fantasies, you might go into the bedroom or bathroom, leave the door slightly open, and slowly, seductively undress (or, if you're feeling particularly daring, begin pleasuring yourself). The idea that he can see you while you can't see him will be especially titillating to him, especially if you don't normally put on such displays. Or, if you have privacy and you're sure the neighbors or the cops won't see you and think there's something suspicious going on, try undressing in front of a window, and then pleasuring yourself, while he's looking in watching you. (Of course, you'll want to wrap up your show by "discovering" he's out there, and inviting him in for some very passionate lovemaking.)

You Want to Do It Where?

The fantasy of having sex in a public place has so much appeal simply because it is one of those forbidden acts. Be careful when acting this one out, because you can get in trouble, either with the police or with assailants. If you're sure it's safe, though, you can act it out in a modified way by having sex in the car in a parking lot, for example. A friend of mine and her boyfriend had a spontaneous session in one of those historical cemeteries in New Orleans—a place they found romantic. Find your own romantic or idyllic spot, but again, be careful when acting out this fantasy.

Exhibit This!

If your man is excited by the idea of you as an exhibitionist, you can probably act out the fantasy without ever being on display. Try making love in a darkened room with the shades opened wide. You will be able to see your fantasy audience outside, yet remain completely hidden from their view. By playing into this fantasy, you will be fulfilling his need to show off the woman he is so proud of: you.

Wet and Wild

Water can be very sensual. Combine it with sex, and you've got a recipe for a powerfully seductive fantasy. You don't have to risk getting arrested for skinny-dipping in your local pool to incorporate his desire for aquatic sex. Just walk in while he is in the bathtub, strip down, and climb in with him.

Ask the Love Coach

T<? fully enjoy sharing each othef's fantasies without risking additional doubts and regrets, agree beforehand to this simple rule; "While we're having sex, there aren't any limits on the fantasies we share. The actual decision whether or not to Jive Out a fantasy, however, will be made only when we both have alJ our clothes on, preferably after we've had sex." Remember, clear minds harborfower regrets.

Continue reading here: Womens Most Powerful Fantasies

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