Ask the Love Coach

first place. The truth is that virtually everyone experiences feelings with which they aren't comfortable, and that run contrary to their ideal image of themselves. For example:

For HER Eyes Only

I hear men complain, "Women say they I ike sensitive guys—'til a guy breaks down and cries around them." If you show discomfort when a man cries, that bells him you are- not a "saft: place" for him to express his feelings. Understanding the risk he's taking by showing his vulnerable side make? it easier for you to Communicate empathy, not judgment,

For HER Eyes Only

I hear men complain, "Women say they I ike sensitive guys—'til a guy breaks down and cries around them." If you show discomfort when a man cries, that bells him you are- not a "saft: place" for him to express his feelings. Understanding the risk he's taking by showing his vulnerable side make? it easier for you to Communicate empathy, not judgment,

• Men are taught from a young age that being a man means being able to withstand pain without being decimated by it—or even expressing it. Consequently, even after all that hoopla back in the 1970s about the sensitive Alan Alda type, it's still a common male belief that crying is unacceptable.

• Women are conditioned by our culture to be agreeable and to hide anger. For this reason, many women (yes, even in this post-feminist era) tend to shy away from expressing anger or even disagreeing with somebody's opinion.

• All of us, male and female, have our arbitrary lists of "shoulds" or "shouldn'ts" about feelings. These lists stem from a combination of factors, such as our upbringing, the social and political climate we live in, or even the people we're trying to impress.

For HIS Eye; Only

Men, how do you act when a woman disagrees with you? Do you listen to her opinion, withdraw in discomfort, or, worce, openly express contempt? You might not believe (his, but even today many women are struggling to Overcome (heir social conditioning to be acquiescent, Listening respectfully to a woman, even (or especiallyl) when she's expressing an opinion you don't agree with, tan make you very seductive in her eyes, _

For HIS Eye; Only

Men, how do you act when a woman disagrees with you? Do you listen to her opinion, withdraw in discomfort, or, worce, openly express contempt? You might not believe (his, but even today many women are struggling to Overcome (heir social conditioning to be acquiescent, Listening respectfully to a woman, even (or especiallyl) when she's expressing an opinion you don't agree with, tan make you very seductive in her eyes, _

You're on your way to becoming comfortable with your feelings when you realize that feelings in and of themselves are neither right nor wrong. (Of course, it's important that you express your feelings in ways that aren't hurtful to yourself or others.) As you become more at ease with your own emotions, you will create a climate in which other people are comfortable with their feelings when they're around you.

Continue reading here: Learning to Listen Using Your Ears and Your Heart

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