Ask the Love Coach

Time and again, I've seen people embark on self-improvement campaign! with the sole purpose of improving their appearance—losing a few pounds, gaining a bit of muscle mass, or some other specific but chiefly cosmetic goal. Often they do improve their appearance in the short njn, but sometimes at the cost of their health. Even those who don't compromise their health rarely stick to their new way of rife, because in some way their regimen is simply too grueling for them. You can avoid this scenario if your exercise routine makes you feet good as well as took good.

When you adopt a physical-fitness program, the secret to success is to focus on how it makes you feel. Sure, it's wonderful to experience the pleasure of knowing your endeavor is helping you to look great too; but if that's your only reinforcement, you probably won't stick with it in the long run. As Harold and Julia discovered, it's far more rewarding to find an activity that makes your body feel as wonderful as it's beginning to look.

Do What Makes You Feel Sexy and Vibrant

Can you see how Harold and Julia's examples can apply to you? As the two of them did, you can devise a regimen that will help you achieve your optimum physical condition but that will, at the same time, be a source of pleasure all its own.

There are countless activities from which to choose. If you need inspiration, the next time you're out and about, browse the free-publications bins in stores and restaurants. Check out some of the catalogs for community colleges or no-credit classes. In Houston, for example, we have Leisure Learning Unlimited, which offers classes in everything from samba lessons to sky diving. Your town or city probably has something similar. Or try your local Y; there's always something fun going on there.

When you are engaged in some activity you thoroughly enjoy, which also makes you feel better physically, your self-image and your overall sense of well-being will improve dramatically. And believe me, that is seductive. It is truly a win-win situation.

Doing a Double Take

If you've followed the suggestions in this chapter, you have already evaluated your physical attributes. But because you are, after all, a work in progress, and because your perceptions as well as your appearance will change as you continue on your journey, I recommend a periodic reevaluation. Take out your original "Enhance/Refine" list, if you still have it, or make a new one. Understand I'm not suggesting that you turn this into an obsession, but periodically reevaluating yourself is a wonderful way to gauge your progress.

Harold and Julia knew this. After working out for about six weeks, they each decided to zero in on their bodies again, and really take a look at their physical attributes.

Harold thought his growing biceps were definitely his best asset. Then he took a closer look at his face, and decided it was his other best asset. Julia still thought her pouty, sensuous mouth was her best asset, but now her long legs caught her attention too, and she was pleased. Her involvement with dancing had slimmed her thighs and toned her calves.

Just for the record, Harold never gave a second thought to his thinning hair. And Julia, having long since chucked the bottle-thick glasses, was seriously beginning to think her eyes were actually quite captivating. The "Enhance" side of each of their lists was growing, while the "Refine" side was dwindling.

Continue reading here: You Wear It Well

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