Emotional Seductiveness

Part 1: Becoming a Modern-Day Seductress or Seducer 1

Redefining Seduction

A Thousand Years of Good Intent 4

How Do You Tell the "Good" From the "Bad"? 5

Nonsexual Seduction: The Good, the Bad, and the Downright Ugly 5

Something to Which We Can All Relate: Food 5

Seducers on Two Legs 6

Sexual Seduction: The Sublime and the Squalid 7

Delicious Seduction: A Little Slice of Heaven 8

Malicious Seduction: Devil on a Blue Bike 10

There's No Such Thing As a One-Night Stand: Seduction Has Lasting 11 Effects

General Seductiveness: The Elements of Allure 11

Ingredients to Cast a Seductive Spell 12

2 15

Goal Setting: The Proactive Approach to Seduction

Whose Life Is It, Anyway? 16

Maybe S/he's Born with It.. .But Probably Not 16

Classic Seductresses: Geishas and Courtesans 17

Bond... James Bond: Seducer Extraordinaire 18

And Now, Back to Reality: What About You? 19

Short-Term Goals: The First Person You Must Seduce Is Yourself 19

Long-Term Goals: Attracting Who You Want 20

You Can Get There From Here: Putting Your Best Self Forward All the 22 Time

3 25 Physical Attraction: Looking Seductive

Is Your Presence a Sensual Delight or a Sensory Assault? 25

Julia: Facing the Truth 27

Harold: Right Hair, Right Now 28

Grooming and Hygiene Fitness and Health

It's Better than You Think: Adjusting Your Body Image Even Cindy Crawford Doesn't Look Like Cindy Crawford Chiseled or Voluptuous? Achieving Your Personal Best Physique It's Not How You Look; It's How You Feel Do What Makes You Feel Sexy and Vibrant Doing a Double Take You Wear It Well What the Sirens Knew

Knowing Your Style Requires Knowing Yourself

Intellectual Magnetism: Your Brain Is the Most Erogenous Part of Your Body

What Makes You Sexy? Your Thoughts Your Intellectual Presence Curiosity Livened Up the Cat A World of Things to Be Curious About Get Current Cultural Seduction Outside the Nine to Five

The Freewheeling (or Sky Diving or Sailing or Rock Climbing) New You

Soul Searching in Seoul Being Genius Enough to Admit to Ignorance

30 30

34 34 36

49 49

5 53 Emotional Seductiveness: Creating Those Warm, Fuzzy Feelings

What's Your Compassion Quotient? 54

Feelings.. .Nothing More Than Feelings 55

Learning to Listen: Using Your Ears and Your Heart 56

Fools Rush In, But Seductive People Listen 57

Learning How to "Resonate" with Someone 58

Laughter Is the Best Medicine (and the Best Aphrodisiac to Boot) 59

To Make Others Like You, Like Them 60

Emotional Seductiveness Creates a Win-Win Situation 62

Spirit or Essence: All the Elements of Seductiveness... and More What Color Is Your Aura?

Spirit, Essence, or Whatever You Want to Call It: It's What Makes You You

Self-Confidence: Where Does It Come From? Essential Elements: Character and Intent Self-Worth: The Reflection of Your Essence Part 2: Attracting Dates: Casting Your Spell

The Ultimate Seductress: A Man's Perspective His Description of a Sexy Woman The Real Deal

"Drop-Dead Gorgeous" Defined Seductive Is As Seductive Does

Focus, Focus, Focus!

A Confidante...or the Town Tattler?

The Spirit of the Enchantress.. .Making It or Breaking It Without Lifting a Finger

The Ultimate Seducer: A Woman's Perspective

The Most Important Game You May Ever Play

Focus Makes Her Heart Grow Fonder

Keep Your Eyes on the Prize—Her!

Making the Present Perfect (and Leaving History in the Classroom)

66 68

69 71 73 77

80 80 81

88 88

88 89

Make Her Feel Fascinating 90

Forget the "Strong, Silent" Approach—Open Up! 91

Cleanliness Is Next to, Well, Her! 93

Putting a Damper on the Situation 94

Take My Breath Away 95

Smoke Gets in Her Nose 96

Dangerous Digits 98

Romancing the "Little Woman" Ain't What It Used to Be 98

Meeting Attractive People: Matching Your Destination with Your Expectation

Where in the World

Clubs and Bars: Keep Your Eyes Open, Your Head Clear, and Your Boots On

Attention Shoppers! There's a Macarena Contest in the Produce Section in 15 Minutes!

Singles Night at the Local Bookstore/Coffee Bar: Sometimes You Can Tell a Book by Its Cover

No Matter How Weird It Is, There's Bound to Be a Group for It

Religious Groups: Who's There to Pray and Who's There to Prey?

The Internet: Getting Lucky Online

Personal Ads: Learning to Read Between the Lines

Dating Services: A Viable Alternative

108 109

What Are Friends For!

Unexpected Places: It's Not So Much Where You Go As What You Bring

The Approach: Putting All That Preparation to Work

Like, What's Your Sign? Probably "Stop!'

When Silence Is Golden... and When to Break That Silence

The Talker

The Observer

116 116 117

Looking Interested, Not Desperate

What? Ask Him Out?

Platonic Pothole or Road to Romance? You Decide

120 122

There Are Friends... and Then There Are Platonic Friends 123

Heading Off the Buddy Syndrome at the Outset 123

Popping the Question (No, Not That One, Silly! Asking Someone for a 125 Date)

11 127 Romantic Signals: How to Read Them and How to Give Them

Developing Your "Body Literacy" 128

Eye Contact: Magic or Menace? 129

Body Talk: Saying It Without Words 130

Leaning with Meaning

Positions the Kama Sutra Never Mentions

Smile Without Guile

Eye Gotta Be Me

Animated Annie, or Wooden Wanda?

The Proper Use of Props Seduction: It's More than Mental—It's Also a Contact Sport

Flirting: Tickle, Tease, or Torture

The Flavors of Flirting

Hope for the Flirt-O-Phobe Testing, Testing: One, Two...Wow!

As God Is My Witness, I Shall Never Flirt Destructively Again!

Flirting As a Prelude to Passion

The Anatomy of Seductive Flirting

The Sweetest Sale You May Ever Make

A Seductive Guide to "the Big D": The Date

The Beginning: Getting Off to a Great Start

Focus on Your Date Instead of Yourself Show Up on Time

Don't Try Too Hard to Impress

Flattery Will Get You Anywhere—or Nowhere at All

135 139

140 142 145 148

To Be Interesting, Be Interested

During the Date: Keeping It Fun (and Seductive!)

Are We Having Fun Yet?

There's Fun, and Then There's Fun

The End? Going Gentle Into That Good Night

S-E-X: Don't Jump the Gun, or You Might Shoot Yourself in the Foot

Repeat Performance? Or...Polite Exit? Rate Your Date

So.Just What Are Your Gut Feelings? Okay, Now Ask Yourself These Questions But Enough About You—What About Your Date?

Part 3: A Night to Remember

Should We or Shouldn't We?

Sex in the '90s and Beyond: A Cautionary Note

When More Than Your Imagination Is Fertile

When Lust Hits, Go Slow

The Wrong Person

...Or the Right Person at the Wrong Time? So... How Can I Tell If This Is the Right Person? Enjoy the Moment, But Don't Forget to Look Ahead The Bottom Line: Choose with Care

Setting the Stage for Seduction I Had This Dream About You Welcome to Fantasy Island Secrets for the Seductress

Subtlety: Letting Him Fill in the Blanks Spontaneity: Being a One-Woman Surprise Party If He Likes What He Sees, He'll Want to See More Secrets for the Seducer

Atmosphere Is Everything Tell Me More About My Eyes Patience, Patience, Patience

Pre-Game Jitters

172 172 176 176 179

179 182

186 187

188 189 191

His Fears 192

That "Size " Thing 192

Performance Anxiety 193

Her Fears 195

Showing Him Her Physical Flaws for the First Time 195

The Big "O "—You've Come a Long Way, Baby 196

Shared Fears 198

Rejection 198

Who Else Is in Here with Us? 198

Primal Fears 199

Reality Bites Back 200

The First Three Times Don't Count 201

Take That Fear and... Transform It! 202

Tonight's the Night: Lovemaking 101 Getting Started: When... and How? The Woman Says "When "

Making the First Move

Relax! It's Not a Competition Easing into the Situation

Tips for the Sizzling Seductress

If You'll Be Jane, He Will Be Your Tarzan

Be a Gentle Teacher

An Orgasm by Any Other Name Let There Be Light

Adonis Reborn?

Right Here in the Parking Lot?!?

The Sweet Seducer: Not Just the Same Old In-And-Out

Let Her Know She's Beautiful

Make Her Know You REALLY Want to Please Her

Always Make Her Feel Safe

Afterplay

A Seductive Potpourri: Tips and Tricks to Make the Night Complete

Seductive Is As Seductive Thinks

Two Enthusiastic Thumbs Up!

205 acó acB aic 210 210 211 211 211 212 aia 212 213 213 ai3 ais aió 216

Your Own Private Mood Enhancers

A Lair to Lure Your Love 217

The Added Seduction of the Unexpected 219

Clothes Encounters of the Seductive Kind 220

More Props for Your Passion Play 222

Kiss Me, Kiss Me, Kiss Me! 222

... And Other Oral Delights 223

Seductive Oral-Sex Secrets for Her 224

Seductive Oral-Sex Secrets for Him 225

I Sing the Body Erotic 225

Part 4: Seduction Is Forever

There's Got to Be a Morning After

Got the Morning-After Blues from My Head Down to My Shoes

Self-Doubt and Insecurities

Buyer's Remorse

Encore... or Final Curtain?

What If Your Cup of Tea Isn't Your Mug of Morning Coffee?

You Don't Float Your Partner's Boat

How to Handle It If It Knocked Your Socks Off

Do Unto Others

Maintaining the Intrigue: Setting the Stage for Next Time

Keeping It Intriguing: Understanding Needs Beyond the Bedroom

The Laws of the Gender Jungle

Women's Basic Emotional Needs

Men's Basic Emotional Needs

Shared Emotional Needs

You're on a Journey Together, So Don't Forget the Souvenirs

Adventures Along the Way

You Fill Up My Senses

Let's Get Physical

Keeping It Spicy: Fanning the Flames with Fantasies and Games

Preventing Fantasy Faux Pas

237 239 239 241 241

247 249 251

252 252 254

Sustaining the Spice with Sexy Play The Show-Off

The Mysterious Blond at the Anytown Grand Hotel A Hot Time in the Hot Tub Men's Most Powerful Fantasies Seeing Double The Naked Eye You Want to Do It Where? Exhibit This! Wet and Wild

Women's Most Powerful Fantasies Now You See Me Tie Me Up, Tie Me Down That's Ms. Dominatrix to You, Buddy Having Other Male Partners Bisexuality Share and Share Alike

What's Love Got to Do with It?

When Love Is on the Agenda (Whether You Planned It or Not) Just What the Heck Is True Love, Anyway? Love Means Never Having to Say You're Static In the Beginning: Passionate Love As Time Goes By: Mature Love So.. .Where Does Seduction Fit into This? Can We Talk About Commitment? Seduction Can Be Forever—Make It So!

Choose to Stay in Love with the Relationship Choose to Keep Seducing Your Partner Choose to Keep Seducing Yourself Let Love and Seduction Feed on Each Other

Appendices

Resources

266 267

268 269

279 279

Books

Nonfiction Fiction Instructional Videos B

The Language of Seduction: A Wordplay Glossary C

Steamy Seduction Tales

Seductresses at Work Easy in the Big Easy Jersey Girl The Apartment

Seducers' Success Stories

I'm a Little Tied Up Right Now The Wicked Queen Pier Pressure Index

294 294 296 296 299

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