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Flirting As a Prelude to Passion

Flirting As a Prelude to Passion

Giving out fake signals can be very damaging, to both the sender and the recipient, for example, people who grve hints that th ey are interested in a long-term relationship when they truly aren't cause immeasurable damage to their partner's ability to trust (and, ultimately, to themselves). On the other hand, people who proclaim they aren't interested in a committed relationship, but are devastated when such a relationship doesn't develop, are setting themselves up for inevitable hurt You are perfectly entitled to your own set of priorities and limits in your relationships, but it is your responsibility to yourself and to your partner to communicate

You've spotted someone whom you find particularly attractive, someone you want to get to know better. You aren't necessarily looking for a soul mate, but you wouldn't head for the hills if one appeared, either. What you do want is the opportunity to get to know this person, spend some time together, and determine whether he or she is as attractive to you as you think. It's time to turn on the charm.

This is where your literacy in nonverbal communication really comes into play (see Chapter 11). Many of the preliminary signals you send out during seductive flirting are the same as those used during harmless, equipment-check flirting (and, unfortunately, during destructive flirting too). The difference, of course, lies in your intent, and, if things go the way you've planned, in the results as well.

The Anatomy of Seductive Flirting

Truly seductive flirting is a synthesis of virtually everything we have talked about so far. It involves the approach techniques, the principles of connecting, and all the various forms of nonverbal communication we've discussed. Seductive flirting is your unique expression of the sultry seductress or sexy seducer you have become. This is where you really begin to test those elements of seductiveness you've been developing. When you're flirting seductively, you are flirting on several levels:

• Your physical self, through your general appearance, your body language, and your facial expressions.

• Your intellectual self, through your conversation.

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