• Your emotional self, through expressing empathy with the person you're trying to attract, and through your attempts to get beyond this person's surface.

• Your essence, or spirit, which, as defined earlier, is at once a blend of the other ingredients, and an element in and of itself. Your essence is reflected in your self-confidence, your sense of self-worth, and your intent.

Okay, maybe that's all sounding a little abstract, so let's get to some concrete stuff. Just how do you flirt seductively?

The Sweetest Sale You May Ever Make

If you've ever had any sales training, you probably learned various formulas for making a sale. The formula for seductive flirting is roughly the same, except, of course, the product you're selling is yourself, and the medium of exchange is pleasure rather than money (well, I'm assuming). Here is a simple formula that you can use as a guideline for your own seductive sale (see Chapters 10 and 11 for more information).

• Attention: You can grab that attractive person's attention even from across the room, if you just know the right signals. Smiling and judicious use of eye contact are great beginnings. Lip licking, playing with various props (your wine glass, your tie) can also be quite intriguing.

• Interest: The process began when someone first noticed you, but it really hits its stride when you approach that person, or that person approaches you. Now you can use some of the up-close signals, such as whispering, leaning in, or tender touching. Presumably the verbal communication has begun, too—another powerful way of building interest.

• Desire: Here's where you're beginning to make this person really want you. Turn up the heat a notch with a thigh touch or other mildly erotic gesture. Continue with the verbal communication too, creating a sense of empathy with the person, and making the object of your desire feel emotionally safe with you. (Make sure you feel emotionally safe too, of course.)

• Conviction: At some point, this person is going to become convinced he or she must find out more about you. Congratulations; you're almost there.

• Action: Now you've really come to the point where something's gotta give. This is where you "close the deal"—you ask for a date and the person accepts (or you are asked for a date and you accept).

Continue reading here: Ask the Love Coach

Was this article helpful?

0 0