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The first thing you want to keep in mind before venturing out is that you are in search of an enjoyable experience, Ciofe your eyes and imagine a crowd of attractive people, ail hanging out and having a great time. Look around and ask yourseif where they are. Mow open your eyes and go there. Simple, wasn't it?

Ask the Love Coach

The first thing you want to keep in mind before venturing out is that you are in search of an enjoyable experience, Ciofe your eyes and imagine a crowd of attractive people, ail hanging out and having a great time. Look around and ask yourseif where they are. Mow open your eyes and go there. Simple, wasn't it?

Now, let's look at your list, and see if it matches with what you want and expect from a first meeting with someone. For example, if you're the type who likes to sit down and engage someone in quiet conversation when you first meet, you're not very likely to get an opportunity to do so at the boisterous new club that's always packed wall to wall. If you're the loud and boisterous type yourself, you might find the pickings pretty slim at the Friday night poetry reading sponsored by the local bookstore. On the other hand, if you're really into poetry and still like a raucous good time, you might try one of those anything-goes "poetry slams" that are occasionally held at some comedy clubs. The point is to figure out the type of person you want to attract, and then decide where you can go to meet such a person. Read on for some ideas.

Clubs and Bars: Keep Your Eyes Open, Your Head Clear, and Your Boots On

If you're like most people nowadays, clubs or bars are probably on your list, perhaps even at the top. After all, places like these are all about partying and meeting new people, right? Well, look a little closer at what the clubs have to offer.

For, one thing, clubs are really geared toward first impressions and outward appearances. Especially in venues that have live music or a DJ, the noise level pretty well rules out in-depth conversation, except perhaps the occasional witty remarks that can be squeezed between songs. So you find yourself winging along on looks and one-liners, the mainstays of old-style seduction.

In an environment where even a simple "hello" has to be screamed to have a chance of being heard, how likely are you to get many clues as to the other person's basic personality, much less, his or her intent? Not very. And, speaking of intent, consider that the single factor common among clubs (and club-goers) is alcohol. While I am by no means a temperance worker—or even a teetotaler—it is important to realize that inhibitions and common sense are both soluble in alcohol.

What that means to you is that the people who spend a lot of time at a club are usually spending the time drinking, and they may be less than fully capable of making good decisions about their behavior or companions. You need to ask yourself if you are looking for someone who is an astute judge of character or one who is easily deluded—someone who can be fun on his own or who needs a little chemical incentive. Again, your intent, as well as that of the people you hope to meet, becomes a matter of prime importance. And the place where you go to meet them takes on a new dimension of significance.

This isn't to say that you'll never meet anyone worthwhile in a club, or that all clubs are devoted to the pursuit of collective mental impairment. There are many terrific places out there, such as jazz clubs and rock-and-roll bars, where some truly wonderful people go to have a good time. My point is that you need to remember the basic function of the clubs—to make a profit from their clientele's drinking. So enjoy the clubs, but keep your wits about you, and stick to your own game plan, not the club owners'.

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