Now that you're home, and alone at last, it's time to evaluate your experience. Whether or not you've made a commitment to go out with this person again, I strongly suggest you take at least a few minutes to contemplate your time together. Nobody is asking you to decide right now if this person is your soul mate—but you don't want to seduce, or be seduced by, someone who is completely wrong for you. What you need to do now is pay attention to your gut feelings, beyond whatever feelings of lust this person may have stirred in you.
To put things in perspective, it helps to ask yourself some questions. So...Just What Are Your Gut Feelings?
I realize it's probably late, and you may be tired, so you don't have to grill yourself tonight. For now, just ask yourself a couple of fundamental questions:
• How do I feel after having spent time with this person? Do I feel excited? Happy? Disappointed? Or do I feel uneasy, as if I'd been protecting myself the whole time? Or do I have mixed feelings (or no feelings)?
• Do I feel a deep hunger for this person, or did he or she take my appetite away? Do I want to jump this person's bones at the earliest opportunity, or take a long shower to wash his or her presence away?
More than likely, what you feel will be somewhere between any extremes I've listed here. What is important is that you look at how you feel right now, right after you've parted company. These immediate feelings will be your most astute guides in proceeding with—or terminating—your new relationship.
Now you can go to bed and get some sleep (but pay attention to your dreams). And then, the next morning, perhaps while you're enjoying your first cup of coffee, review the date in your mind again.
Okay, Now Ask Yourself These Questions
Remember in Part I, when we went into some detail to explore the various elements of seductiveness? You can use these elements as reference points to help you judge the seductiveness potential of your new relationship. Consider your general impressions of how you clicked with your date on these levels:
• Physical chemistry. Was it sizzle or fizzle? Are you really attracted to this person, or do you just think he or she would be an attractive accessory, making you the envy of all your friends? Does this person really seem to be attracted to you?
• Intellectual compatibility. Was there mental electricity between the two of you, or just so much static? Do you have compatible interests, at least to the point that you could converse intelligently with each other? Do you feel you're intellectual equals, or do you sense that one of you seriously outranks the other in brain power?
• Emotional attunement. Did his or her presence feel like a warm, sweet breeze, or just so much hot air? Did you feel good about yourself in this person's presence, or uneasy for some reason? Did you like each other?
• Harmony of spirit. This may be harder to determine after just one date, unless you read auras, but do pay attention to any feelings you may have—positive or negative—about this person's vibes. Did he or she seem like an ethical and honest person, or did you get the sense that this person was trying to hide something? Again, you don't want to ignore those gut feelings.
Now take a break, and then come back and think about the date some more. (I promise we're almost through with the cross-examination.) Ask yourself these questions:
1. Did we have fun together?
2. Was there powerful physical chemistry between us?
3. Did we treat each other respectfully?
4. Did we touch each other in a tender, caring way?
5. Did we genuinely seem to like each other?
6. Did I feel good about myself while I was with this person (and did that person seem to feel good about him- or herself too)?
7. Does this person seem to be free of obvious critical flaws, such as addictions or a violent temper?
8. Would I like to go out with this person again as soon as possible? But Enough About You—What About Your Date?
If you have decided you want to continue the relationship and progress toward seduction, it's time now to return your focus to your date. A truly seductive person will take the time to reflect not just on his or her own feelings, but on what he or she learned about the other person. Review the evening, and ponder on the clues you picked up about your date. Ask yourself:
• What have I learned about this person? What are his or her likes and dislikes? What is his or her idea of fun? How can I make our dates more fun for this person, so he or she will associate me with good times?
• What kind of cues does he or she seem to respond to most favorably: visual, auditory, or kinesthetic? How can I best appeal to this person's senses, in order to create seductive experiences that will make him or her long for more?
You can't possibly hope to learn everything there is to learn about a person after one date, but if you've kept your eyes and ears open, you'll have picked up some very useful clues that will help you refine your approach, and make the seduction all the more delicious. Keep on looking for more clues as you get to know the person better; the more you learn, the better a seducer or seductress you will be.
Whether or not a long-term relationship is your goal, you do need to take some time to do some thinking during the interval between the first date and.. .well, whatever comes next. If your date passed the tests in this chapter, and if you have paid attention to what you've learned about your date, the two of you may well be on your way to a deliciously seductive experience. So pour yourself another cup of coffee, and allow yourself the delight of fantasizing about whatever (or whomever) comes next!
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