If I didn't believe that seduction can be forever, I wouldn't have devoted an entire book to this topic. I hope by now you're convinced that seduction is a process, and that it's up to you to choose how long that process lasts.
Of course, there's only one first time with your partner, but that doesn't mean that the two of you can't continue to discover thrilling new things about each other—and yourselves, and the world around you—for as long as your relationship lasts. So how do you make seduction last forever? You do it by making conscious choices about the relationship and yourselves. As you'll see, these choices reinforce each other.
In order for a relationship to continue to be fulfilling, you need to continue to focus on its positive traits. Too often relationships begin a slow (or fast) decline once the passion wears off. Eventually not only the passion is gone, but so is the love. In most cases, this is because the partners have forgotten to focus on what worked about the relationship. It has somehow become easier for them to concentrate on what's not working. If you find this happening to you, you both need to go back to Square One and rediscover the magic that first drew you to each other.
One way to do this is to keep doing romantic and fun things together (or start doing them again, if you've quit). If the relationship is to survive, both of you must continue to associate it with good times. Some psychologists call this the "liking by association" principle. Whatever you call it, it works.
In order to stay in love with the relationship, and keep the passion alive, you need to continue to seduce your partner on all levels (see Chapter 20). Of course, you must be motivated to do this, and in order to be so motivated, you have to continue to focus on your partner's positive traits. This can sometimes be a challenge in long-term relationships; in fact, it's inevitable that intimate partners are going to find fault with each other sooner or later. When faultfinding becomes a habit, however, you need to take a few steps back and remember why you were so attracted to your lover in the first place. And then you need to choose to keep seducing that attractive person.
In order to be able to focus on the positive traits in your partner, you must also continue to focus on the positive traits in you. In other words, you have to keep seducing yourself.
How do you do this? First, you take care of yourself—physically, intellectually, emotionally, and spiritually. Continue your personal growth—and never stop growing. Change is a characteristic of life, and since you're going to change anyway, for better or worse, why not make it for better? Go back to the beginning of this book as often as you need to; do the exercises that focus on developing your seductiveness on all levels. Continue to be seduced by life, and you, in turn, will continue to be seductive—to yourself and to your partner. It's inevitable.
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