Seduction Its More than Mental Its Also a Contact Sport

Despite what some people may think, foreplay begins long before any clothes start coming off, and even before any decisions are made about having sex. In that time of exquisite tension when neither person knows where a relationship might go, even the slightest contact can be a source of sparks or revulsion. Intent and finesse are what separate the two.

For HiS Eyei Only

A woman loves gestures that aren't necessarily sexual but that create an ambience of safe intimacy. Gestures such as guiding her gently by the em as you're walking, or putting your jacket over her shoulders if ¡he seems cold, can have a cumulative effect that she'll find very seductive. If she's aires dy attracted to yoti, these gende gestures will enhance her feelings. If she's not certain of her feelings for you, your overtures won't seem

For HiS Eyei Only

A woman loves gestures that aren't necessarily sexual but that create an ambience of safe intimacy. Gestures such as guiding her gently by the em as you're walking, or putting your jacket over her shoulders if ¡he seems cold, can have a cumulative effect that she'll find very seductive. If she's aires dy attracted to yoti, these gende gestures will enhance her feelings. If she's not certain of her feelings for you, your overtures won't seem remember, you don't have to formally ask permission before you make each move—but do pay attention to he r reactions.

Since the brain is the primary erogenous zone (see Chapter 4), your initial acts of seduction must be more mental than physical. The whole idea is to get your partner thinking about you in a sexual light, and to enjoy those thoughts. As I've said so many times before, your intent will be communicated very clearly to your partner. If all you're interested in is a sexual encounter, all your words and deeds will carry at least a subtle undertone that your partner will hear and see. If, however, you see your new partner as an emotional, intellectual, and even spiritual delight, as well as a potential romantic and sexual partner, that balance of intent will also come across.

So how do we turn up the heat without getting burned? Certainly a spontaneous grope for your partner's more personal parts would be counterproductive. It is here that your finesse plays such a crucial role. You want your partner's passion to build slowly to a fever pitch. You want this person to be excited about exploring new experiences with you. But you want this person to feel as if the seduction is his or her idea. So you plant little seeds. If the situation is right—and the chemistry is there—these seeds will blossom.

For HIS Eyes Only

How can you tell if a woriran is... well... interested? Once you've learned to read the jigns, it'j easy to teH, even from across the room. Some of the most common flirtatious signals: She smilei at you and glances at you repeatedly, bosses her head, and/or flipi her hair. Close up, behaviors such as leading in to you and whispering to you can be signs of flirtatious behavior.

Some of the most effective seeds you can plant take the form of sensuous touches. They seem to be completely spontaneous, done almost absent-mindedly. Yet they are very effective in sparking thoughts in your partner's mind.

It is impossible to overstress the importance of intent and finesse where the art of sensuous touching is concerned. Perhaps more than any other aspect of a seduction, there is a very fine line between what is welcome and alluring and what is unwelcome and even offensive.

Some guys are bold and obvious when expressing their interest in you. Others are more subtle. Some of those across-the-room signals that mean he's interested include: preening behavior, stroking his tie, or an eyebrow flash upon catching your eye. Closer up, be on the lookout for subtle gestures, such as touching your arm or putting his hand on the small of your back to guide you while you're walking together. All of these can be signs that he finds you enticing.

For HER Eyes Only

Some guys are bold and obvious when expressing their interest in you. Others are more subtle. Some of those across-the-room signals that mean he's interested include: preening behavior, stroking his tie, or an eyebrow flash upon catching your eye. Closer up, be on the lookout for subtle gestures, such as touching your arm or putting his hand on the small of your back to guide you while you're walking together. All of these can be signs that he finds you enticing.

You need to be very conscious of your partner's boundaries, and respectful of his or her concept of personal space. Some people think nothing of giving a peck on the cheek, embracing, or being embraced by a new acquaintance, while others reserve any physical contact whatsoever for people with whom they already feel intimate. Go slowly with your attempts at physical contact, and read your partner's reactions every step of the way. If you do it right, your sensuous touching can lead you both into a truly delicious seduction.

You have at your disposal many different tools that you can use to communicate with your partner. You may impress someone with your words, dazzle him with your smile, and mesmerize her with your eyes. With the right little touches, you will complete your delicious seduction. Always remember, however, that a seduction that doesn't make both of you feel good is not worth pursuing.

Continue reading here: The Least You Need to Know

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