SEX Dont Jump the Gun or You Might Shoot Yourself in the Foot

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The first rule to remember, both for safety's sake and for the sake of seductiveness, is not to rush into intimacy.

Of course, there's nothing wrong with kissing on the first date. A simple goodnight kiss can be very seductive, especially if it leaves your partner longing for more. Whether it's a kiss on the cheek, a warm brush of your lips against those of your partner, or a lingering mouth-to-mouth exploration, a kiss can be a very warm and pleasant way to end an evening. Simply do what feels comfortable for you both.

But please don't let the action get much sexier than a lingering kiss (which, of course, can be very sexy indeed). I always advise against having sex too early in a relationship, especially on the first date. Besides the obvious danger of sexually transmitted diseases, consider this:

Beyond the inevitable emotional gamble of having sex early in a relationship, there is the very real danger of contracting a sexually transmitted disease. Even if a person seems nice, or not the ''type1* to carry such a disease, that certainly is not an accurate measure of his or her physical health. Too many nice people have had their lives forever changed or even ended because they had sex with someone whose disease simply wasn't evident, I ask you to be intelligent and responsible when making choices that can dramatically affect your own life and that of your partner, i,_.

Having sex with someone whom you haven't really gotten to know is a sure-fire way to short-circuit even a potentially steamy relationship. It is only natural that you allow yourself to be quite vulnerable when you have sex with someone. If you don't really know each other very well, however, sharing that vulnerability will usually give rise to some strong doubts—about yourself, the other person, and the new relationship itself. And your partner will probably be having the same doubts. You both may end up so embarrassed about it that you'd just rather forget it ever happened. On the other hand...

• By stopping short of a sexual relationship, you effectively heighten the delicious tension that is such a significant part of seductiveness. We're going to go into the art of tension-building in juicy detail in the next section, but for now, suffice it to say this: By keeping the other person wondering what it would be like to have sex with you, you are making the whole process of seduction much more enjoyable for both of you. And there's another beneficial side effect; you are also encouraging his or her interest in you as a person. Even though the sexual desire may be a primary force in causing the person to want to see more of you (no pun intended!), it has the effect of putting the focus on the other aspects of your persona as well. This helps the object of your desire to get to know you even better, and find more about you to like—and, of course, to be seduced by.

Repeat Performance?

If you have found your companion to be charming, attractive, interesting, and all those other delightful qualities that make you feel really excited about being alive (and excited about the prospect of eventually seducing him or her), don't just stand there; let your date know what a great time you've had. You don't necessarily have to come out and 2sa2y0that you would like to see this person again, because you can get the point across quite well in other ways.

Heart Brakes

Heart Brakes

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