The First Three Times Dont Count

Before we leave the subject of pre-game jitters and get back to the good stuff, I want to leave you with one final tip. No matter how compatible you are with your partner, and how at ease you are with each other, your first shot at lovemaking may not be all fireworks. In fact, the opposite might be true. If so, don't be dismayed. Remember, you're two real people in a real situation; only in movies and romance novels does the first time proceed without a hitch.

For HER Eyes Only

For HER Eyes Only

To ease his performance anxiety, Jet him know that "the first three times don't count" Don't telJ him the moment you're in bed together, of course, it may sound to him as if you're really not expecting much from him for that he shouldn't expect much from you). Find a way to work it into the conversation beforehand. Bring up the subject by telling him you're a little nervous as well as excited, but you've calmed your neives by remembering the Love Coach's rules about the first three times, (if he's a football fan, he'll like the preseason game analogy,} He'U appreciate your frankness about your anxieties, and, even if he doesn't admit it, he'll feel relief from pressure..Just be sure to keep the conversation on the light side.

To help relieve the pressure, I'm going to give you one of the Love Coach's rules for lovemaking: The first three "games" don't count. Think of the first feW times as pre-season games before football season begins. More than likely, you'll fumble a bit. This is understandable when you realize:

• Both of you will have a certain level of anxiety—yes, even after reading this chapter. Nervousness just comes (no pun intended) with the territory.

• People are complex, and everyone is different. It's going to take time for you to get to know each other's lovemaking style and preferences. The more you learn about each other, the better lovers you will be for each other—and you can't possibly learn all there is to know in one session.

This is not to imply that everything is going to be perfect by the fourth time or so, but by then, you'll be on your way to knowing each other better. It is my hope that your lovemaking will just keep getting better and better as you go along.

Continue reading here: Take That Fear andTransform It

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