The Least You Need to Know

X You can become the seductive percon you want to be.

>- Becoming more alluring take* neaf commitment and a bit of work.

>- People have been re-creating themselves for thousandi of years, so you're not the firit to try ft.

>■ The moit important person to seduce is yourself.

> Form a dear picture in your mind of the type of person you want to attract but don't be so selective that you ru'e out everybody.

>■ Don't be discouraged by setbacks on the road to telMm prove me nt; these ane natural, and you can overcome them, ■,---- ..., .

Chapter 3

Physical Attraction: Looking Seductive

In This Chapter

► Taking inventory of your physical traits

> Determining how to make the most of your best and the least of your worst >■ Gaining realistic expectations for younelf

V Developing your own personal styie

The first element of seductiveness is your physical self. Whatever those enlightened folks may say about how unimportant physical appearance is, let's face it: Your physical being is the first thing people notice when they meet you. Your appearance is going to make an impression, one way or another.

You may think you don't have a lot of control over your fundamental appearance, short of paying a visit to a plastic surgeon. In truth, however, there are plenty of things you can do to enhance the looks you were born with. Accentuating your good points, while minimizing those characteristics you consider flaws, is a common practice, not to mention the basis for a multibillion dollar cosmetics industry. So let's begin building that altar of desire you're going to be.

Is Your Presence a Sensual Delight or a Sensory Assault?

To become as physically alluring as possible, begin with an honest appraisal of your looks. Be thorough but don't be overly critical. The best way to start is to divide your physical presence into two distinct categories: what you like, and what you're not so fond of.

Start by rating your face. This is the first part of you that most people will notice. (In a little while we'll discuss body image and self-appraisal; just concentrate on your face for now.)

1. Stand in front of a mirror and really look at your face. Don't protest that this seems vain; you know very well that when nobody is around, you will gaze into the mirror, testing out new expressions, and making sure that the old ones look the same as they did the last time you checked. At least now you've been given permission, and you're doing it for a real purpose. Look at your eyes, nose, mouth, and the texture of the skin. Pretend the image you see in the mirror belongs to somebody else and that you're evaluating the elements to determine how they look to you.

Ask th« Love Coach

The secret to looking seductive it part physical enhancement, part illusion, and a Jarge nneiiure of attitude. To be ¡edwctrve, you don't have to have been born with designer genes; you just need to Jearn to woifc with whatydu have fwhich is more than you think! jl

Ask th« Love Coach

The secret to looking seductive it part physical enhancement, part illusion, and a Jarge nneiiure of attitude. To be ¡edwctrve, you don't have to have been born with designer genes; you just need to Jearn to woifc with whatydu have fwhich is more than you think! jl

2. After you're done with the visual appraisal, make your list. Divide it into two columns: "Enhance," which are the features you like; and "Refine," the features you think need improvement. Perhaps your favorite feature is your mouth. You see a deliciously sensuous, sexy, kissable mouth. (And, yes, men and women can both have sensuous mouths, so lighten up, guys.) Your mouth definitely qualifies as an enhanceable element, so write it down on that side.

On the "Refine" side, you might write down that you're not fond of your eyes because you wear glasses. Maybe you heard the term "four-eyes" a little too often while you were a kid, or maybe someone you didn't particularly like wore glasses, and you can't quite kick the association. For whatever reasons, the glasses are a bummer for you. So on one side of the list, you've got those eyes that just don't do much for you, but on the other side you have those gorgeous lips.

3. Decide what to do about the items on the "Refine" side of your list. (The features you like, of course, you'll just leave alone. If it works, don't fix it, right?) As was the case in your decision to become seductive, you'll probably find that goal setting will help you make the desired changes in your appearance. In some cases only a short-term goal is necessary, and long-term goal setting won't necessarily apply.

There are some things you can do one time that will make a significant difference. Suppose, for instance, that you don't like your glasses. The short-term goal here is a no-brainer: get contacts. If you can't wear contacts, you can simply buy a better-looking style of glasses. If, however, you want a long-term solution that involves neither contacts nor glasses, you might look into some of the newer and safer surgical techniques for correcting visual impairment. If you and your doctor decide this option is right for you, but you can't afford it now, this could be one of your long-term goals.

I want to share with you the stories of two people I've worked with in the past. We'll call the woman Julia, and the man Harold. Like most of us, Julia and Harold were not entirely happy with their appearances. But by being honest in their self-assessment, and making a series of short- and long-term goals, they were able to recreate themselves and increase their seductiveness quotient considerably.

Julia: Facing the Truth

Julia assessed her face and decided that her best feature was definitely her mouth. She had pouty, sensuous, Sophia Loren lips. Unfortunately, she wore thick glasses, and always felt self-conscious about them. Finally Julia decided she would break down and get contacts. She had always been afraid contacts would be difficult to put in, but her desire to become the sexiest woman she could be was strong, and getting stronger all the time. So she forced herself to overcome her trepidation over putting her fingers in her eyes, and got fitted with soft contact lenses. She decided to go for blue contacts—deep blue. Yum!

Julia didn't want to wear her contacts all the time, so she also invested in a pair of very attractive eyeglasses. This brings me to another point: Don't fret if you're one of those people who can't wear contacts; these days you can choose from an endless array of flattering lens and frame styles.

For HER Eye J Only

Don't hesitate to seek out expert advice on cotmetfci; learn the basic principles of applying co I or and texture to enhance yOui1 looki. if you can't afford upscalc-department-sto/e prices, you can get the same look for much less at a drug or discount store, Or try some of the beauty supply sto^s that are popping up afl over; these stores carry brand-rtfirtie cosmetics at discount priecs-

For HER Eye J Only

Don't hesitate to seek out expert advice on cotmetfci; learn the basic principles of applying co I or and texture to enhance yOui1 looki. if you can't afford upscalc-department-sto/e prices, you can get the same look for much less at a drug or discount store, Or try some of the beauty supply sto^s that are popping up afl over; these stores carry brand-rtfirtie cosmetics at discount priecs-

While Julia was analyzing her face, she decided her make-up needed an update. Off she went to a well-known department store, where she met with a make-up consultant who diplomatically let her know that her look was slightly dated. Julia had a complimentary make-up redo, and was delighted with the results. Yet she just couldn't justify spending hundreds of dollars on the upscale cosmetics for sale at the counter. She thanked the cosmetic consultant, and her next stop was the drugstore, where she bought many of the same textures and colors of make-up. Thus she was able to re-create the look at a significantly lower cost.

Harold: Right Hair, Right Now.

Harold had a great face, with strong and even features, but his hair really wasn't that attractive. Actually, what was left of it was just fine, except he was losing it at a rapid rate. Lately he had resorted to the tried-but-not-so-true, "comb-it-over-the-shiny-spot" technique, which was highly unsatisfactory.

Seme of the sexiest guys in history, tuch as YuT Bjynnei", were bafd. In fact, in recent years iome of Hollywood's sexiest, such as Bruce Willij, Keen en Ivory Wayans, and Sean Cannery, are ha [ding for bald J and not afraid to show it. Even Ted Danjon has stopped wearing his toupee. These guyi look great because the/ve found that getting a cut to- flatter them (and not hide their baldness) is what works. Remember: confidence is seayi

Seme of the sexiest guys in history, tuch as YuT Bjynnei", were bafd. In fact, in recent years iome of Hollywood's sexiest, such as Bruce Willij, Keen en Ivory Wayans, and Sean Cannery, are ha [ding for bald J and not afraid to show it. Even Ted Danjon has stopped wearing his toupee. These guyi look great because the/ve found that getting a cut to- flatter them (and not hide their baldness) is what works. Remember: confidence is seayi

So, Harold made a short-term goal to get a different haircut. The other options were to invest in a toupee, spend a fortune on hair transplants, smear his head with minoxidil (which is far from 100 percent effective), or try some of that aerosol scalp coloring he'd seen on infomercials. None of these sounded at all appealing to him. Instead, he had his hair professionally styled in a way that didn't try to hide the fact that he was becoming bald. In short, he got a newer, snazzier look.

"Someday I may consider hair transplants, or maybe I'll try that new antibaldness pill that they've come out with," Harold says. "But for now, I think I've made the best choice, and I'm happy with it."

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The Power Of Charisma

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