The Wrong Person

Sexual desire can be very deceptive; when you're overcome with it, you can easily be blinded to a person's imperfections and even a person's critical flaws. Unfortunately, once you've established a sexual bond with someone, you've created a link that could be permanent. Remember in Chapter 1 where we said that seduction has lasting effects? Sex, for better or worse, utterly changes the dynamics of a relationship. It has been said that sex is the glue that keeps relationships together. Unfortunately, it can also be the epoxy that keeps you bonded to someone long after you've decided you want the relationship to end.

...Or the Right Person at the Wrong Time?

Heart Brak«

Sex can keep a good relationship going through the tough b'mes, but it can alio keep a bad relationship from ending, long after ft has stopped being good. Keep in mind that, for better or for wone, having sex with a person will create a bond between the two of you. Choose your partners) carefully.

Heart Brak«

Sex can keep a good relationship going through the tough b'mes, but it can alio keep a bad relationship from ending, long after ft has stopped being good. Keep in mind that, for better or for wone, having sex with a person will create a bond between the two of you. Choose your partners) carefully.

Having sex with someone before you are really ready can spoil the relationship, even if the two of you might have been truly compatible. I've counseled many people who have made this mistake. Their story is always a variation on the same theme: What began as a passionate interlude ended in awkwardness, self-consciousness, remorse, and doubt. Both sexes suffer, each in his or her own way:

• Women may find themselves unable to have an orgasm. This leads some women to fake it in order to keep their partners from feeling they're less-than-adequate lovers.

• Men may have difficulty getting an erection, even though they're very attracted to the woman they're with. This leads to feelings of inadequacy, and often causes the woman to have doubts about her attractiveness (which is usually such a sensitive issue for women anyway).

Unfortunately, people who scarcely know each other are not inclined to drop back a yard or two and honestly discuss what's on their minds. Instead of afterglow, couples in the throes of the sex-too-soon syndrome are left with a list of unspoken fears: What does he/she really think of me? Did I perform up to his/her expectations? If he/she doesn't want to see me again, does that mean that I didn't perform well, or that I'm just not desirable enough?

By having sex with someone before you're really ready, you can not only destroy the opportunity to build a wonderful relationship, you can end up cheating yourself (and your partner) out of some really remarkable sex.

Heart Brakes

By having sex with someone before you're really ready, you can not only destroy the opportunity to build a wonderful relationship, you can end up cheating yourself (and your partner) out of some really remarkable sex.

It's unlikely that these two people will want to discuss these fears with the person who seems to be the very source of their discomfort, so they withdraw from each other. Each person's withdrawal feeds into the other person's fears, making that person withdraw even more—until that seedling of a relationship has shriveled up and died. That's why I recommend waiting until you really know someone before jumping into bed.

Continue reading here: SoHow Can I Tell If This Is the Right Person

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