When More Than Your Imagination Is Fertile

Condoms are not necessarily the sevual answer to a suit ofantior. They can slip offr break, or even lose their effectiveness if they are part the expiration date On the package (¿fmsys check thijJ. In addition, studies have shown that the AIDS virus can penetrate condoms made of lambskin.

For HER Eyes Only

For HER Eyes Only

We often think of men si being the ones who balk at safe-sex precautions, such as condom use. But let's be fair, ladies. I've talked to hundreds of men and women about this issue, and I've found that, in many instances, the woman doesn't even bring the matter up in the first place. Thafs because she automatically assumes, without even asking that her partner is going to be displeased; or she finds such talk unromantic or unpleasant' Or she may even assume it's the man's job to deal with it Remember, ifsyour body, and there is nothing even remotely roma nb'c or pleasurable about a ns<ya[|y j transmitted disease or an unwanted pregnancy. If he is resistan^ or doesn't want to talk about it; you don't belong in bed with him. Find someone who cares as much a bout your welfare as he does his own pleasure.

Have you discussed the possibility of pregnancy and birth control? For some older couples, or couples in which one partner has undergone sterilization, this won't be necessary. But for everybody else, the same rules that apply to STDs apply here: Use caution and candor.

Men, you can't assume she's on the Pill or taking care of contraception in some other way. Ask her. And women, don't wait for him to ask; you bring up the subject. With the wide variety of contraception options available, and the wealth of information that is equally available, there's simply no excuse for ignoring this important matter.

Laura thought she had it all under control. A successful investment banker in her late 30s, she had been off the Pill and celibate for a couple of years when she began dating Steve, a lawyer who was a few years younger. She didn't want to go back on the Pill, but felt confident that she knew her own body well enough to know when her "safe" times were. Since Steve had an aversion to condoms, Laura used contraceptive foams or suppositories.

One afternoon, however, she and Steve had a little too much champagne after celebrating his triumph in a tough case, and they ended up making love on a couch in his office. They used no contraception, and it really wasn't a safe time for Laura; however, she shrugged it off, rationalizing that her fertility was probably on the decline anyway. A few weeks and one missed period later, Laura was gasping at the positive result on her home pregnancy test. A visit to her doctor confirmed what the home test had indicated, and now she and Steve were faced with a choice.

Laura was glad to have choices, but was still very distressed over the situation. Neither abortion nor adoption were options she felt she could live with, so she decided to have the baby and raise it herself. Steve wasn't ready for marriage, and besides, he really wasn't "the one" for her. Steve did, however, agree to pay child support and to be part of his child's life as much as possible.

Granted, the consequences could have been much worse if Laura had been very young, or hadn't had any money, or Steve hadn't been willing to participate financially and emotionally. Nevertheless, there were consequences—for Laura, for Steve, and for their child. These could easily have been avoided if Laura and Steve had not been careless about birth control.

Continue reading here: When Lust Hits Go Slow

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