While we expect others to respect our rights, we must also respect others. This principle enshrines the core of assertive behavior. Assertive behavior sows confidence. Confidence prevents us from yielding weakly in the face of pressure and it puts our needs forward. Anytime, anywhere. We feel good about ourselves because we send a clear message as to how people should treat us. Assertive behaviour requires that we act politely, reasonable and objective. Assertive behaviour requires that we let others know exactly what we want and feel. As a natural consequence, persuasion cannot occur in the absence of assertive behavior. To convince others, we must be naturally assertive. A weakling cannot sway the mind of an opponent. Victorious persuasion can be easy. First, know your rights. Be aware of where you stand. Then deploy the tools of scientific persuasion. Be forcefully assertive. The first shot fired in the war of wills comes only after invoking the proper mental disposition -...
The Creator shaped the world in seven days. Creating a new assertive personality takes longer. Through constant practice of assertive behavior, our personalities evolve and eventually become naturally assertive. Three weeks of constant behavioral modification through conscious replacement of weak and passive conduct with stronger ones make the change permanent. In this book, behavior modification entails incorporating certain new vocabulary, avoiding the use of certain sentences, adopting new habits and solving special problem situations in a specific manner. The practice of the following exercises firmly entrench assertive behavior consciously and subconsciously.
However, having the INITIATIVE to go up to a woman without spending ten minutes thinking about it, and teasing her, and telling her after a short chat that you guys should go for coffee or sit down at the sofa or whatever you have in mind is simply being ASSERTIVE and DOMINANT. Nice guys tend to think that things will just happen eventually for them with women. Assertive guys, guys who are THE MAN, they MAKE it happen.
Answering the following questions in your dating notebook (see Chapter 1) is the place to start. Then you have to decide whether you want to do the work, practice different behaviors, learn new skills, be more honest. Change isn't easy, but it can be very worthwhile to lighten up, become more informed, become more assertive, tune more into others, be more (or less) aware of yourself, and so on.
Show her that you are serious about wanting to meet her and talk to her. If you catch her eyes across the room, hold your gaze until she looks away. You should never be the one to look away, and never look down. Looking down is a sign of submission - that is what you want her to do If you look away you send messages of fear, or lack of interest. You want her to know you are strong, confident and assertive. Hold eye contact with her for an extended gaze. If she refuses to look away, give her a little wink and a smile. When you are holding eye contact with a woman, and you feel the tension building, don't break down and look away. Force yourself to keep
I Throughout the early life of your child, try to avoid body language gestures that emphasize height, size, or power differentials like looming over someone, placing your hands on your hips, shouting, or blocking their way These can come back and bite you I Use real signals of intellectual power instead. Keep calm and use assertive body language like eye contact (though not hard staring) open, emphatic, but unswerving gestures and physical confidence rather than underlying aggression I Many if not most family squabbles are prompted by status incon-gruence In an animal colony this would be sorted out by fighting, but, luckily, humans are usually less willing to gouge, claw, and wrestle to establish the pecking order Always remember that no hierarchy is ever totally stable People leave home and get promoted in the workplace, family members age, and the nurturers and protectors become the ones needing to be cared for Status squabbles in families focus around seating and sleeping...
I am not suggesting that you throw your goodwill out the window, or become instant asshole. I am telling you, however, that if you think being nice to everyone, or non-intrusive, or non-demanding, or non-assertive will get you more friends or further in life and love, you're horribly mistaken.
As a Seducer, I consciously convey all the powerful alpha qualities she is looking for and make premeditated decisions that manipulate her emotions without abusing them. I do it just enough to give her the thrills she subconsciously wants but I don't intentionally hurt her. It's similar to being a jerk in how we are assertive and lead them, but with the idea of making the interaction a win-win situation rather than narcissistically one-sided.
Sometimes she doesn't notice the ball come over the net. Sometimes she's seeing if you're as brave as you are assertive so she just sits there and waits for you to show her what you're made of. Sometimes you don't notice that 235 pound boyfriend standing right behind her.
Assertiveness 101 - To be persuasive, you must be assertive. Learn what your rights are and how to enforce them without guilt. Enjoy the rush of power when you speak your mind without fear Assertive Strategies To Deal With Problem Situations - At your disposal are powerful tools to assert your needs in any situation. Master these techniques and never again will you cower before stronger individuals. Hot-wiring Your Mind for Assertive Behavior - You can make yourself permanently assertive. These effective methods reengineer your way of thinking so that you will be stronger and more influential.
Something for them and you really don't want to, it's more assertive to explain your reasons than to agree using a volley of fast blinks It's a sign that your adrenalin's pumping, which is in turn a sign of suppressed anger or irritation. Keep your blink rate fixed to normal, and don't use your body language to drop hints
The masculine and the feminine must balance each other. However, according to the ancient emperors, Yang, the masculine force, should be the more dominant for true harmony. While this is probably an old chauvinist view, I think it is probably correct where it comes to living systems. However, I believe that dominant in this situation really means assertive or active. Men are the leaders. The masculine is the initiator. (I do not believe that dominant means that men should rule or overpower. )
To this point you have mastered only the internal building blocks of persuasion. You are already aware of the mindset and disposition necessary for influence. An assertive personality allows you to persist with an idea. Understanding what people want and knowing the human driving force enable you to formulate the right statement of requests. This section builds the bridge between you and the other person.
For example If you normally get very angry when someone is long winded and takes forever to get to the point, you can use the power of that anger energy to be more assertive in how you handle it, while still being rational. Rational as in, I think I know what you're saying, but I need to know your point before I can be sure. versus, Will you get to the point already Not to mention, the ability to maintain rational thought during anger, is so uncommon, that people will literally feel compelled to
Another thing is to make sure you escalate the relationship into something physical early on. Start touching, holding hands, kissing or more as the opportunity arises. If you don't and three dates go by, you will find that you have become emasculated and are now nothing but a friend to her. If you are the assertive male you takes what he wants, you will be unafraid to make a move and let her know you are interested in her sexually. It is already written into the subtext of the date. Not making a move is strange and conveys that you are afraid to take action. Again, lead confidently and she will follow.
As you begin to experience this transformation, you will also notice that you are a different person with more confidence and renewed, assertive belief system. You now live in a realm where things are possible. You know you will get this part of your life handled. It's only a question of when.
Inner Game is based is rooted in your confidence, beliefs and your overall attitude about life. Whether you realize it or not, your attitude is constantly projected to the women you talk to. If you have a strong, assertive Now, let's get back to charismatic people. The more rules charismatic people have, and the more they punish those who break their rules, the more charismatic they appear. Positive examples are Christ, Gandhi, the Dalai Lama and Martin Luther King. A negative example would be Hitler. Being assertive does not make you good or evil. It gives you power. How you choose to use it is up to you.
With the 3s rule, you don't need to wait for eye contact or for her to notice you or for an opportunity to present itself. You simply see something you like and you go right up to it. You are also doing yourself a favor by following the 3s rule. In three seconds, you have no time to become nervous, self-conscious, sweaty, shaky - all the obvious signs of an AFC lacking confidence, quality, power, or assertiveness, a weakling around women, a pariah to beautiful girls. Even if you start sweating, or getting shaky or stutter while talking to the woman after following the 3s rule, you weren't that way when you initiated contact. The first impression is what counts. If that first impression of you is of a confident and spontaneous man, her feelings for you will be positive from the start, which greatly the minimizes the chance of you turning into a pile of jelly while talking with her. It sets the pace and helps keep your inner voice at bay, allowing you the chance to keep up your...