Options for Anger
• Okay, now the second option for anger is to actually DECIDE to use it. Unfortunately, many people think that this is the ONLY way to DECIDE to use ANGER: AGGRESSION, which is a destructive, WIN/LOSE way of using it.
• So many people just "don't get angry" and leave themselves only the option of DEPRESSION.
• AGGRESSION is a destructive, WIN/LOSE action that dumps Anger into someone else's boundary. As such, it is immature and childish because it DOESNT RESPECT other people's boundary. It sees the world as a place of SCARCITY, in which to WIN, someone else MUST LOSE.
• "Competition" DEMANDS Aggression because it demands a winner and a loser.
AGGRESSION & The
OPTIONS FOR ANGER
the "cycle of violence" that brings "negative momentum" to your life
Take a job situation; I might gossip, criticize the boss, tell everyone "how much I hate this job" and the like. This would be emotional aggression. Some might even do physical aggression if they saved up all the anger in their depression pot down below, until it filled up to the brim and exploded!
When people do this with their anger, the anger explodes out in the "quick-fix" way.
(a type of stress)
"Cycle Of Violence" *
Well, as we learned the differences between maturity and childishness, we learned that "immediate gratification" is a characteristic of childishness. AGGRESSION has that feature—it is a quick way out of the discomfort of Anger, by just "dumping" it into others.
However, as the Nash Equilibrium taught us, a "mathematical proof of karma", society doesn't tolerate AGGRESSION and so it HURTS us back to curtail it.
We can then get into a "cycle of violence" just as the Israelis and Palestinians, or Freedom Fighters vs. terrorists. (AGGRESSION can become a DESTRUCTIVE HABIT.)
The only possible scientific outcome is the new generation of more HURT and more ANGER
Aggression Is A Form Of SUFFERING Using Anger
Since the PAST and FUTURE are not in our CONTROL, then when we burn ANGER on the past or future, it is suffering.
Spending Anger on the past is called REVENGE.
Spending Anger on the future is called JEALOUSY.
BOTH are childish and forms of SUFFERING. BOTH REVENGE and JEALOUSY are AGGRESSION.
SUFFERING: Anxiety, and the PAST and FUTURE that are out of our control
All SUFFERING takes our energy, whether positive or negative, and spews it out into the environment without thought, planning or purpose, wasting it on the "uncontrollable".
ASSERTIVENESS: The "Third Option" For Anger & The Only Cure For Depression & Violence
The ONLY WAY OUT of the discomfort of ANGER, DEPRESSION or VIOLENCE is called ASSERTIVENESS, which is the constructive use of anger; a constructive decision that sees the world as a place of ABUNDANCE and uses WIN/WIN methods.
You learn to go out independently, patiently, maturely and get your WON NEEDS MET without hurting others, using others or doing more HURT to anyone.
ASSERTIVENESS That Generates Positive Momentum & WINS You Well-Being
OPTIONS FOR ANGER
List of Needs:
1.e.g. nice boss
2.e.g. high pay
• ASSERTIVENESS has patience to it, where you go out there armed with severe detail about EXACTLY what you need.
• These NEEDS are based on your unique IDENTITY, which we learned comes
^JJC through work on your Boundary.
You slowly and patiently use your anger to go get those things without hurting others.
Imagine "flying your airplane" down toward the GOAL of getting your specific needs met. Your ANGER is one of the two FUELS that your "plane" uses.
So I QUIT the old job with a mean boss, low pay, and high hours to take a NEW job that has a nice boss, high pay and low hours, after slowly researching jobs and/or training for one. Doing so doesn't HURT the old employer— they will simply get a foolish replacement.
Doing ASSERTIVENESS creates POSITIVE MOMENTUM for my life, where I fill up on more and more WELL-BEING. In other words, I make CONTRUCTIVE HABIT out of ASSERTIVENESS.
Continue reading here: The Anger Map Uses All That Weve Learned
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