The Anatomy Of Self Esteem

• Have you ever seen a very satisfied person, with all their needs met? Are they absolutely happy if they are not confident? No. This is why wealth does not guarantee happiness. Your needs are met, but you can't protect them. You are an auto with OIL and no GAS.

• Have you ever seen a very confident person who also didn't take care of herself or nurture herself? Someone very confident, but lacking any caretaking from others—the "fiercely independent" person? Are they absolutely happy? NO! This is why gang members and terrorists are not happy. They are like an auto with lots of GAS and no OIL.

• We all need both, a source of MOTHERING and FATHERING throughout life, but especially early in life, whether from two parents, or both energies from the same single parent.


The First Law Of Thermodynamics: What?

• In Physics, the First Law of Thermodynamics states: "energy is neither created nor destroyed", it can only be transformed from one form to another.

• What this means for humans is that since we "do work", we "run on energy", such as in the former metaphor of us being like automobiles as far as the energy process.

• All energy processes have two forms. One of the most general distinctions in Physics is that of "Potential Energy" and "Kinetic Energy".

• Potential Energy is a stored, quiescent energy that can later be transformed. It is similar to the Well-being stored in us.

• Kinetic Energy is a spent energy of action that can be tempered, cooled again and transformed as well.

• We need to learn how to TRANSFORM ENERGY into forms that we need at the time we need it. We need to learn how to TRANSFORM STRESS, ANGER and ANXIETY into SELF-ESTEEM instead.


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The Return Of Stress: "What Doesn't Kill Us Makes Us Stronger"

' Remember, STRESS has two forms:

- HURT, which if it gets into your boundary, causes ANGER

- LOSS, which if it gets into your boundary, causes ANXIETY

' All STRESS you have ever been threatened with has been some percent HURT and some percent LOSS.

' For example, a large bill in the mail is a LOSS (of money), an insult is a HURT and a divorce may have BOTH HURT and LOSS to it as a STRESS.

' Our first line of defense against STRESS is saying "NO" to it with the BOUNDARY, but once STRESS gets in you it is YOUR PROBLEM. The ANGER and ANXIETY generated then must be TRANSFORMED into Positive Energy if you are to make good use of this situation.

' As such, our next diagrams will prove to you visually that "WHAT DOESN'T KILL US MAKES US STRONGER."

Wishing To Control The Past & Future As Forms Of Suffering






Impulsiveness LOSS


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o RegiïtX WORRY/conçlaint



When we try to control the past or the future, neither of which we control, that is SUFFERING.

There are ways in which we can SUFFER using our emotional energy aimed at these time frames that we don't control.

SUFFERING over the future with ANGER is "jealousy".

SUFFERING over the past with ANGER is "revenge".

SUFFERING over the future with ANXIETY is "worry".

SUFFERING over the past with ANXIETY is "regret".

When we are Present Minded and therefore self-aware, we can still SUFFER with ANGER in the action called AGGRESSION.

When we are Present Minded and therefore self-aware, we can still SUFFER with ANXIETY in the action called IMPULSIVENESS.


The Alchemy Of The 1st Law Of Thermodynamics


Getting Needs Met




Facing Fears



• Once we have been STRESSED by HURT or LOSS and these have entered our Boundary as ANGER or ANXIETY, we now are charged with Transformation of Energy into another form, a POSITIVE FORM.

• We are about to learn exactly how this happens.

• We are about to learn every possible interaction between hurt, anger, violence and depression, and find a "cure" in Well-being.

• We are about to learn every possible interaction between loss, anxiety, impulsivity and addiction, victim-thinking, worry, hopelessness, helplessness, regret and find a "cure" in Confidence.

• An EQUAL amount of Well-being and Confidence = HAPPINESS or Self-




Mature Masculine Power


Masculine Power = Observing Ego

+ Mature Boundary Function (Doors)

+ Confidence


Continue reading here: Now You Have Come A Long Way In Mastering The Third Inner Resource Emotion

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