You must Escalate When the Time is Right in order to Realize a Successful Seduction

Have you ever heard of the expression 'passive-aggressive'? It's a psychotherapy term that describes a technique by which a person can exhibit aggressive or hurtful behavior towards someone not necessarily by doing something to them, but by withholding something from them. You withhold the full expression of your personality in some way... give half an effort, drag your feet on the job, give someone 'the silent treatment' -- whatever it takes to inhibit their efforts to accomplish something that requires your cooperation as a way of punishing them. Teenagers are great at doing battle passive-aggressively with their parents, and some women I know have this technology down to an absolute science!

I mention this only to demonstrate that you probably already know how important the concept of escalation is to a seduction, because you've likely used some fashion of its 'anti-matter' form, the ol' passive-aggressive routine, to strangle off a troublesome relationship in the past that you simply didn't want to deal with. You know... some goofy chick in high school that you didn't find attractive took a liking to you and kept hanging around and flirting with you after class. Embarrassing you in front of your friends.

You got rid of her by steadfastly refusing to take it to the next level -- by stonewalling all her signals and frustrating all her efforts to get you to respond to her in an appropriate way that would lead to a relationship. When it was time to hold her hand, you refused... when it was time to ask her out to the prom, you declined. See? That's passive aggressive behavior, and you manifested it in this particular situation by refusing to escalate the romance to its next required level. Eventually, she gave up and went away (I hope). This all happened because any potential relationship between a man and a woman must escalate forward within a certain time frame, or it will run out of momentum and die. A failure to take things to the next level chokes off the oxygen of romance and ultimately kills all hope of seduction.

I trust you're familiar with this so called "dark side" of escalation - the power of 'anti-escalation' I guess you could call it.

When you think about it, every stage along the way from first eye contact to marriage vows requires one partner to initiate an attempt to move the relationship forward to a new level, and the other partner to eventually join in. From first glance to smile, to an opening conversation, a date, a first meaningful kiss, sexual relations, an engagement ring, a trip down the aisle and finally a decision to have kids. At each step along this path, if one or both partners refuses to advance onward to the next phase of the seduction, the two people will invariably separate and move on with their lives in different directions.

Continue reading here: Without Embarrassment

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