The first section of the book covers a great deal of this but in addition to fixing your Inner Game you need to view each pickup without any needi-ness or expectation. Even if you are lonely, there are tons of girls out there and no particular set is important. Let go of your attachment to "winning". It's very Zen. The less you "care" about the outcome the better you will do. It's because guys who have abundance in their lives don't exude any needi-ness.
A big problem happens when a guy is needy to get a girl in his life and thinks she will solve all his problems. By being so desperate, every girl runs away when she smells how unhappy he is. If he cannot make himself happy, how he is going to make somebody else happy? If you want others to love you, you must love yourself first.
So the key is first to fix your life and prepare a kingdom where you are the ruler and can receive girls into the kingdom. A fucked-up, boring life, or a life full of anxieties and troubles which you haven't dealt with is not attractive for anybody, especially not for girls. But when a guy is confident and seems to be exactly who and where he wants to be will draw women in just by the way he subcommunicates abundance and success.
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