8 Commanding Presence What is a commanding presence?
First of all, commanding presence has nothing to do with gimmicks, tactics, or techniques at all. Commanding Presence is the ability to make people listen to and obey you because you project dominance and confidence.
Commanding presence is extremely important in pickup and dating. So often, guys who know sophisticated techniques will not have success with women because they dont have commanding presence women instantly write them off as losers, without even listening to what they have to say. They dont project dominance, they are unsure of whether or not people will listen to them and attach importance to what they say. People can pick up on this instantly, and are repelled by it.
Many guys have problems opening girls on cold approaches - especially girls who are in difficult logistical situations, such as talking on a cell phone, dancing in a loud club, or even just walking in the other direction on the street. This is because they lack commanding presence. They are not powerful enough to draw the woman away from whatever activity she was already engaged in.
In order for a woman to stop and talk to you, you need to be more commanding than the activity which she is engaged in. For a woman shopping, your presence must be more commanding of her attention than shopping. For a woman in a loud club, you must command her attention more than the music, flashing lights, and other guys. For a woman on a cell phone, you must command her attention more than the person who she is talking to.
You will notice as you improve your commanding presence that you can open women in situations which previously you thought were impossible. As you become more and more confident and dominant, you will command the attention and of women with increasing ease, to the point where you do not even consider the possibility that a normal, friendly woman would not give you her attention. Because you are so sure that you can command a womans attention, your presence will in
turn become more and more commanding because of this.
Here are some things you can do to improve your commanding presence:
• Improve your tonality. Are delivering your opener to stop her in a weak, timid voice? Or, are you saying it slowly, loudly and confidently?
• Improve your body language. Do you stand in a hunched over, with bad posture, and look down towards to floor? If so, relax, lean back, and look people straight in the eye. Make warm, friendly eye contact, take up space, and all the other things recommended in the body language section of this guide.
• Improve your image. Dont dress like someone who doesnt pay attention to their looks. This conveys that you think you are not attractive, and that you dont think its worth spending time making yourself look the best that they can. Dont dress in a generic way, but also, you want to avoid overcompensating and dressing like a clown. Find cool, tasteful clothes which give you a tight image and show that you treat yourself well.
• Most important: Improve your beliefs. When you attempt to stop a woman and get her in a conversation, do you confidently believe that she will talk to you? If you do, then she will sense the confidence and authority in your voice, and she will stop. If not, then she will sense that you really dont expect her to stop, and will get a weird vibe from you. Thus, she wont stop. Theres many things you can do to improve your beliefs, including improving your body language, tonality, image, and by repeated successful experiences in social situations.. You can also improve your beliefs directly through various exercise to reframe your experiences positively, which are taught in our workshops and bootcamps.
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