You need to recognize any negative beliefs you may have about yourself, and at least isolate yourself from them long enough to consider the ideas. Many times I'll tell a student of mine that he's attractive, but the idea can't make it through his beliefs without me making him recognize that his beliefs need changing, far before I logically convince him of the (relatively) simple fact the he's attractive.
Don't let your beliefs stand in your own way. They're ingrained in you, largely by your upbringing and experiences, but they're a lot more flexible than you might imagine, which is a good thing.
The belief in what's attractive is interesting. If a woman (or man, too) has a belief about what's attractive, they'll often parse over little details if they see that piece of the equation.
Here's an example: Guys that have large biceps and triceps move their arms, when they walk, a bit differently than guys with smaller upper arms. I've observed the pattern and even felt it myself when I was lifting weights. The difference is very small, but a well-muscled guy's arms seem 'pushed out' more than normal - not just in terms of muscle mass, but just the way guys with larger arms move. I have no idea why this is. I'm not a biologist, nor an exercise scientist, and aside from basic knowledge, I can't really tell you how anatomy works. But one thing I CAN tell you is that if you adjust your walk ever-so-slightly, then you're walking like a guy who has ripped muscles.
After you consciously adjust your walk for a short while, it'll become natural and you'll need no more conscious thought in that department. The arms thing is just a very, very small piece of an overall attractive
presence. If you walk, stand, sit, wait, smile, and move like an attractive guy, on a casual glance, you'll look more attractive. If you only 'turn your walk on' when you're out looking to meet women, it might not stick over a long course.
Even still, it gives you plenty of time to screen the girl if she's compatible, and if she is, you'll have had plenty of time to attract her via more conscious processes that it won't matter any more.
It's interesting, really, that so much of the game is based around getting five minutes of a woman's attention so that you can show her who you really are. But the fact stands: If you emulate a good behavior and that gets you in with one woman, that's great. If you synthesize a good behavior and make it who you are, you'll be in with lots of women.
The emphasis on being cool, calm, and comfortable:
Being relaxed and knowing you're attractive will make you have the body language of someone who is relaxed and attractive. This is a good thing. Consciously manipulating your body language and movements slightly, for a while, can be a good thing while you get the hang of it. I, myself, have written a couple articles you might check out on having a good walk. But more than anything, the belief that you're attractive will smooth things down and make you more cool.
People's filters react based on what they've seen already. If every attractive guy a woman's ever known has walked and talked a certain way, an okay-looking guy walking and talking that way will appear attractive to her.
This is true for tonality, body language, and style. While there isn't ONE correct way to do any of these, there are ways that are attractive. If you watch attractive guys, they'll have similarities between them. People who feel they're of high value carry themselves with their shoulders broad and their head up, almost universally.
Something I've noticed: If an average-looking girl wears an attractive girl's clothes, and carries herself like an attractive girl, she'll be attractive. And it's cyclical, too: She'll start getting more attention, and the
attention will be more positive, so she'll feel more attractive. And since she'll feel more attractive, she'll carry herself well. The same is true of men.
It's a cool thing I get to see when I teach: Often prior to taking a program, a guy will have gone through a lot of frustration. Then something just clicks on program and they start to really feel it. They worked hard, and they get that first positive spark, and then they REALLY believe it, finally, and start truly acting attractive. Then their success REALLY takes OFF! The beliefs a guy carries with him translates into how he acts. Any woman he meets will assess him based on her beliefs.
So, what should they guy do? Should he try to act the way she'd find attractive? Or should he just BE attractive and KNOW he's attractive? I find the second way much easier. Emulation is okay. Learning to be attractive, if you will. Faking can't really work, though: If you believe you're faking, if you don't believe you are attractive, you won't be. This is true regardless of what the first thing you like to say to a girl is.
Regardless of what you want to say, you should know, deep down, that you're attractive.
That knowledge alone will make you act like an attractive person, regardless of what the societal definition of attractive is.
We all have instincts as to what's attractive and not. Health is universally attractive on an instinctual level. But someone's filters can override that:
Let's say a woman from an upper-class family sees a man of a race other than her own. This could be any race of man and woman. Even if the guy is physically fit with shows all other signs of health and strength, she might let her societal filters override it.
Racist beliefs can be used as filters to filter guys out. (Thankfully, in the Western world, this is largely being done away with: Though racism is still around plenty, most women at least exercise their free-
dom to try dating outside their race a few times in their lives.)
That's a simple example of a negative filter, but thankfully, most filters aren't as hard-line as the race one. Instead, most filters can be used to your advantage.
I remember, I once had a friend who rowed. You know, like, a boat with oars and such? I'm not sure exactly how the sport works, but it was interesting to look at him: He was very toned and in shape, but didn't have large muscles the way a bodybuilder would. He looked very toned, say, at the beach, but he'd look rather skinny in a baggy sweatshirt.
He shared an interesting observation with me. He was wearing a white T-shirt one day, and he pointed something out to me: He showed me the sleeve on his T-shirt, and said, 'Always try to get T-shirts that the sleeves are tight around your biceps. I've got large T-shirts with small sleeves and I look ripped in them, and I've got small shirts with big sleeves that make my arms look tiny.'
It was funny... because he was right. The sleeves on your white cotton t-shirt can make the difference between you looking like you have biceps or not.
That little thing can appeal to a mostly unconscious filter.
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