A brief guide to congruence

This is the perfect communication, meaning your words, tone, and nonverbal gestures are all dancing to the same rumba They give out a matching message and they complement one another This means you'll look honest, genuine, as though you really mean what you're saying Congruent bodytalk is going to be your goal throughout this book

It's vital that your communications look congruent You'd think this would be easy enough when you genuinely do mean what you say, but it's not Incongruent communication doesn't just happen when you're lying or trying to mask or deceive Your body language signals can go skidding out of kilter for several reasons The most common one is shyness or embarrassment . Shyness produces physical awkwardness The more you feel you're being watched or scrutinized the more awkward your body language becomes, so by the time you try to speak it's unlikely you'll manage to produce a full set of signals

You could tell a client you're pleased to see them and this could well be true, but if shyness makes your eyes flick to the floor as you say it, or your handshake is weak, or you fold your arms into a protective barrier, it's unlikely they will believe what you've just told them

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Body Language Basics

Body Language Basics

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