Eye contact will make you look confident and in charge of a conversation However, many training manuals and courses insist you should use it to a degree that I would describe as "too much "
By looking away from someone you will appear shy or submissive, but remember what I said about pinning your objectives up before you start to make changes Is shyness such a bad thing? Think of some people you know who use or used shy body language signals . Four key characters spring to mind: former Prime Minister Tony Blair, British politician David Cameron, Princess Diana, and Diana's son Prince William All of these people manage or managed to keep on the attractive side of shyness This means they are able to display terrific confidence in many of their performances, yet still keep a high likeability rating because of their use of a dipped head, dipped eyes, and bashful-looking smiles
On the other hand, think of those avid fans of the strong, unbroken eye contact signal like British politician Michael Howard, English journalist Jeremy Paxman, British broadcaster Jeremy Kyle, and former Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher, and although you're looking at some strong, controlling characters, you're not talking lead contenders in a likeability contest
You can use your eye contact as a tool of mass destruction then, but you can also tone it down to magnificent effect I Use 100 percent eye contact when you're listening to someone, but add nodding into the repertoire as well or you'll look like a crazy staring person I When it's you doing the speaking, remember to alternate between using eye contact and looking away for short spaces of time Too much prolonged eye contact when you speak can look intimidating or even dishonest I Increase your eye contact when you want to increase your status, but use this tool wisely I Prolonged bouts of staring only really occur in the real world between lovers who are trying to access one another's minds and/or Anti-Social Behavior Order idiots who are about to punch your lights out Sadly, intense eye contact will tend to look either passionate or hugely aggressive, which is why the phrase "Who're you looking at?" is the one that tells you a fight is about to break out
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