If your target quality is status or leadership
Your body language tools are: I A firm handshake I Good eye contact I Straight posture I Sitting centrally or at the front I No fiddling or wriggling I Smooth, emphatic gestures if your target quality is calm
Your body language tools are: I Measured breathing I Smooth, synchronized body movements I Lowered shoulders, not tensed or hunched I No fiddling I Sitting back in your seat I Elbows on the arms of the chair I Hands lightly clasped
Does modifying your body language like this make you a liar? Shouldn't you just "be yourself'? Isn't this conning people and acting false or not being true to type?
Honing or changing your body language signals is part of a natural process You learned most of it by imitation and there's nothing wrong with adding to your repertoire You'd feel happy about learning new words to express yourself, so why not new gestures?
Another fact of body language is that when you feel that you're "being yourself" you probably aren't Most people I coach are mortified when they first see their own body language on TV because it's not what they thought they were doing and not what they intended to say . They make changes because they're not putting the right message across
One of the key changes I made to my own body language was to stop looking shy I am shy and I feel shy but shyness doesn't work in my job Worse still, it was getting misinterpreted. People assumed I was being stuck-up or arrogant
Continue reading here: Step two play to your strengths
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