Rule 2 project And AbsoRb In EquAL MEASuRE

Learn how to network The charismatic profile means wearing an appearance of inner balance and harmony that will count as confidence, but make sure it never looks like self-absorption You will need to appear comfortable in your own skin rather than in love with yourself. Vanity and smugness aren't marketable qualities, but looking as though you know what you're doing is

Beware looking like you are your own prime concern, though. Charismatic people absorb: paying attention to other people, noticing other people, and listening to other people This isn't just ear listening, either It barely matters that you're hanging on their every word if you look distracted or bored. Here's a quick test to see how good or bad your projecting and absorption skills are

I Did you choose a desk facing the door to the office or room you work in? Or do you have your back to the main thoroughfare or entrance? (I know it's not always possible to choose where you sit at work; therefore, if you were given the option, which would you pick?)

I Do you ever get out of your seat to greet visitors, no matter what their status?

I Do you ever carry on working when people are talking to you, even if it's just a few words on the keyboard and you know you're not missing anything they say?

I Do you ever interrupt people when they're speaking to you?

I When you're in a meeting do you pride yourself on being able to float in and out of the proceedings, working on a need-to-know basis?

I Do you find people often repeat things they've already said?

I Do you ever sit with your chin in your hand at meetings?

I Do you find it easier to concentrate if you look out of the window?

I Are you an avid multitasker, making sure you get chores done while you're taking a phone call?

I Do you usually eat or drink during meetings and enjoy power lunches where you discuss business?

I'm sure you can see from your answers just how much half-baked listening you're doing . When did you last give someone the luxury of your undivided attention? Here are some questions about your self-absorption signals:

I When someone's speaking to you, are you partly listening but mainly formulating your response or working out what it is you want to say next?

I Do you find it easy to change the subject during a discussion?

I When someone else speaks do you often find yourself picking, fiddling, or tapping your pen?

I Do you ever ask a question just so that it will have to be asked of you, as in "What's your favorite film, then?"

I Are you comfortable telling other people about your likes and dislikes?

I Do you use the word "I" a lot when you speak?

I Do you ever talk about yourself in the third person, as in: "I'm just being myself, this is what Judi James is like"?

Projection is vital for your workplace charisma, and being and acting invisible just shouldn't be an option But you do need to go one step further . As well as drawing yourself out, make sure you learn to draw others out, too Charismatic people don't big themselves up; they do it to others, making people around them feel important and valued

Continue reading here: Rule 3 Get The Status Signals Right

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