Tips to spot the liar
I First of all: ask yourself if you really do want to expose their lies If you're happier being fooled then you might collude with the lie and only look for evidence of honesty
I Value your gut reaction; it's based on very complex information processing
I Remind yourself of your partner's normal, honest body language behaviors Invest some time in studying them more closely to spot patterns of behavior
I Beware the error Othello made if you do decide to confront your partner Being placed under pressure by being accused can produce shifty-looking body language signals in the most innocent person
I Look for changes in normal behavior, like working longer or different hours, more time spent away at courses or conferences, and so on
I Check for different smells. People having affairs often wash more or change their perfume or aftershave I They also buy new underwear.
I Their vocabulary changes as they pick up new words from their new love.
I As does their body language — look for new gestures . I And don't overlook changes in their musical taste—they'll start to extend their CD collection I Don't be fooled if they start looking at you more. You might take this for affection, but it's more likely they're evaluating you against their new lover I Don't expect nicer behavior . Guilt will often make your partner more picky and argumentative They're finding flaws in you so they don't feel as guilty I Look for extended pauses or playing for time if and when you ask questions
I Watch for eye movement—it's not set in stone, but eyes going up to the right can mean imagination or fabrication, to the left can mean recalled memory I Watch for cutoffs at the moment of lie, like dropping their eyes, looking away, or face covering I Watch for signs of increased pressure, which can cause an adrenalin buzz This can mean a dry mouth with extra swallowing or lip licking, shallow breathing, increased blink rate, and muscle tension of the jaw and shoulder area
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