Um take aim
The success rate of this approach is about the same as the success rate of firing a gun before you've aimed and expecting to hit the target. Apart from anything else, it's dangerous! Speaking before you think is a common problem, and the thing about our communications and transactions is that often we don't bother to aim them before we fire We're a bit flaccid about our target planning . Our body language aiming is especially suspect We don't get to see our own body language and so we tend to just let it do its own thing Like an overindulged child, though, it starts to become a bit of a liability
When did you last "take aim" with your body language? If you've had a difficult transaction, or communication, with time for planning and preparation I bet you spent any prep time working out what to say rather than how to say it . Or how about approaching someone you are attracted to? There are loads of articles in men's magazines extolling the virtues of different pick-up lines but few that describe how a guy should stand if he wants to impress a girl
Like every other aspect of a transaction, your body language needs to be fine-tuned in keeping with your goal(s) .
There are four different types of image goals for you to target:
• The "lifetime achievement" goal: the image you want to project to others on a regular and long-term basis
• The strategic goal: flexing your image and impact to suit a short-term set of circumstances .
• The professional goal: adopting a corporate or more professional image that matches your chosen career
• The role goal: adopting differing images to suit your different life roles and responsibilities, like parent, daughter, wife, team-player, friend, and so on
If you understand your goals you will be well on the way to understanding how to maximize your body language techniques to achieve them. If you suffer from goal-confusion, though, you're destined to look something of a prize chump
Before you attend an important meeting or scenario spend a few moments creating specific image goals for that meeting Ask yourself: I How do I want to be perceived?
I If I were wearing a t-shirt with words printed across the front to describe me and my personality, what would I want those words to say?
I What body language can I use to get those words across?
Spend a few more moments visualizing those words . To do this you can work on very basic body language rules and knowledge . For instance, if one t-shirt word is "confident," visualize people you know who look confident and then see yourself acting in the same way This technique is a great learning tool for body language as it replicates the system you used to learn how to move and gesticulate in your childhood: play and mimicry
As a basic ploy you can create a simple body language tool-kit that will make instant improvements, like:
Continue reading here: If your target quality is status or leadership
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