Your social performance face
You think your face acts normally when you speak to friends, family, and colleagues? Then compare it to the face you wear when you first get out of bed in the morning . The better you know someone the more likely you are to be wearing your normal face when you deal with them, but when you speak to anyone from a friend to a total stranger chances are you'll apply your social expression, what psychologists call "putting your best face forward "
At work you will be required to use your performance face almost exclusively Anyone not doing so will usually be deemed negative and moody, especially if they're female . Women in business are expected to smile 80 percent of the time and most are compliant enough to do so Hence the way women are often described using that awful word that is intended to be a compliment: bubbly!
If you work in a front-line, customer-facing post, you'll probably be required to smile frequently Otherwise your performed facial expression will probably range between polite, positive, listening, concerned, and keen The higher up you are in the company the less pressure you could have to perform Sir Richard Branson is one leading businessman who seems concerned with wearing his highperformance "smiley" face whenever he's out in public
There's no dishonor in sporting a social performance face when you're out and about Your ancestors would have found it a lifesaver because scowling and giving other animals the evil eye can get an animal killed
The changes to your facial expression will create huge changes in the way you are perceived I'll be talking about love and sex in chapter 9, but the "Look of Love" is one of the most radical changes there is, rendering your face almost unrecognizable by a softening of the features that ensures your partner will find you doubly attractive and fall in love with you
Sadly, once you've been through the initial stages of attraction, love and lust, your face is likely to return to its "natural" expression when you're with your partner In many ways this relaxation of the features can be a relief, because you're in that comfortable zone with them known as "being yourself " Trust and comfort allows us to drop the social mask and display our true face to our partner Unfortunately, that "true" face is rarely the most attractive option . Just as the Look of Love is nature's own Viagra, so this "true" face might well be nature's own birth control as it tends to look dour, tired, and ugly Unconditional love is a state we all strive for in our lives, having seen it with our parents and hoped for it with our partners, but it is a rare and unrealistic goal in a relationship that's also founded on sexual attraction. With men and women spending more hours in the workplace than they do at home, what happens when the person at home wears their world-weary face while at work the same person has been trained to wear their "best face"? I've studied thousands of business people and many of them wear the Look of Love on their faces when they're working because they're a salesperson, because they want to appear charismatic, or because they want to suck up to the boss This leads to a potential blurring of roles that more than accounts for the amount of office-based extramarital affairs
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