Body Language Mastery

The Body Language Project

The Body Language Project is the perfect mix of art and science. This project seeks to teach you about how body language and tones can signal far more than most people let on. You will be able to easy figure out what people are thinking and feeling just from the body language that you see and the micro expressions that you pick up on. All you have to do is learn the simple set of instructions that gives you the code to figuring out why people do what they do. This book is full peer-reviewed and gives you all of the information that you need to learn how to seduce like a master, no matter how previously attractive you have been to women or men before. Body language is one of the biggest foundations to dating relationships; learning to read body language puts you miles ahead of other people! Continue reading...

The Body Language Project Overview

Rating:

4.7 stars out of 12 votes

Contents: Ebook
Author: Christopher Philip
Official Website: bodylanguageproject.com
Price: $14.95

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My The Body Language Project Review

Highly Recommended

Recently several visitors of websites have asked me about this ebook, which is being promoted quite widely across the Internet. So I bought a copy myself to figure out what all the fuss was about.

This book served its purpose to the maximum level. I am glad that I purchased it. If you are interested in this field, this is a must have.

How To Learn Body Language

Set aside at least fifteen minutes a day to study and read the gestures of other people, as well as acquiring a conscious awareness of your own gestures. A good reading ground is anywhere that people meet and interact. An airport is a particularly good place for observing the entire spectrum of human gestures, aspeople openly express eagerness, anger, sorrow, happiness, impatience and many other emotions through gestures. Social functions, business meetings and parties are also excellent. Having studied the art of body language, you can go to a party, sit alone in a corner all evening like a wallflower and have an exciting time just watching other people's body language rituals Television also offers an excellent way of learning nonverbal communication. Turn down the sound and try to understand what is happening by first watching the picture. By turning the sound up every five minutes, you will be able to check how accurate your non-verbal readings are and before long it will be...

Step three how to work through body language change

Assessing your own body language is hard because catching yourself unawares is as physically impossible as tickling yourself. (A brief pause to give those of you who didn't know you couldn't tickle yourself a chance to try ) In perception terms you are either aware of your own body language or very unaware Once you become aware you also become inhibited, which has an instant and traumatic effect on your gestures and movements, altering Nevertheless, tweaking your own body language to create improvement is so absolutely necessary that you're going to have to move through the pain barrier and launch yourself on a voyage of self-discovery Why the pain Because very few people are naturally gifted body language performers A lot of people have the body language charisma rating of a sea urchin When you start to become observant of your own behavior you will find it's like looking at party photos embarrassing and depressing You'll fail to recognize yourself or identify with your gestures,...

Body language rules rule 3 be prepared to get out of your comfort zone

And here's the rub by choosing to change your body language signals you will be tip-toeing outside your comfort zone Awareness of your own movement creates a good deal of discomfort in itself. Recognizing that some of the things you currently do make you look like a bit of a jerk doesn't make for happy thoughts, either . And pushing your body through changes will make going back to a state of blissful ignorance and unconscious error very, very tempting So here's the deal if you want to make excuses to yourself about why you should go on producing low-impact or poor-quality body language messages that could well be sinking your career and your love life, then you're an idiot and a sissy and you need to put this book down right now and go back to The Lady or The Idiot's Guide to Cross-stitch or something because we're about to part company at this juncture It might occur to you that I'm sounding a bit bossy right now . If so, you're absolutely right . What else did you expect Would you...

The Power of Body Language

Everyone communicates through body language. While we may be consciously unaware of the meaning of body language, we are subconsciously fully cognizant of its message. We react to how someone behaves before us on a subliminal level. For instance, we automatically feel uneasy if our companion crosses his arms and legs and narrows his eyes. Subconsciously we interpret the body signals as beacons of resistance, even though we may never have studied this arcane subject. The resistance of our partner tends to incubate resistance within ourselves as well this causes us to cross our arms and legs in order to protect ourselves. The cycle of resistance ensues. The subsequent failure of the conversation looms imminently. Being knowledgeable of body language grants greater control to those wishing to influence any conversational ambiance. Through our actions we can set the tone - positive or negative - of any negotiation, meeting or one-on-one conversation. A master of this art will always adopt...

Reading Her Body Language

When reading a woman's body language, be sure to consider all body movements, facial expressions and even her verbal communication to other people. Women are not very good at hiding their feelings. Their feelings are expressed obviously, provided you can read what her body language is saying. Women always convey what they are feeling through a series of gestures. You need to be able to recognize these gestures and interpret them to find out her thoughts, feelings, or motives. There are two key forms of body positioning - open and closed. Open describes a woman who is open to advancement. She will respond positively if you approach her. Closed, on the other hand, indicates that the woman is on the defensive. She is withdrawing from the situation she may be unhappy she may be tired and wants to go home. Women with closed body language should probably be avoided, unless you want a challenge.

Technique 3 Use Your Body Language

I have already discussed how to use and interpret body language to initiate interest in Chapter 7. This section isn't quite so intense. At this point, you are already talking to the woman you are interested in so you aren't as concerned about interpreting her body language as you are imitating it. You should learn to mirror her body's motions and her gestures to create a sense of similarity. Reflecting her body language includes most physical gestures and movements. You should use your hands similarly and you should face the same direction with your body. If she is leaning over the table you are sitting at, then you should also be leaning over the table. If she is leaning against a wall or the bar, then you should do the same. Follow her gestures and body positioning to build a better rapport with her. When you are talking to her, and she leans her head, or she puts her weight to one side, then you should subtly imitate her movements. Try not to draw attention to the fact that you are...

Body Language Being Relaxed and Being Comfortable

You may have to constantly remind yourself of this throughout the day, but this is something you can start implementing right now. I mean literally now. You can take a 1-minute pause from reading, stand up, and walk around with your new body language. Try sitting on a chair or a couch with your new, relaxed body language. Take up space Being comfortable is the key here.

Reading Body Language

Body language speaks louder than words you reveal all your thoughts, moods, and attitudes through it. You can also read the conscious and subconscious thoughts of the person you're flirting with by simply observing what they are or are not doing. Never interpret one body language movement or gesture in isolation, because you're likely to misinterpret what is being conveyed. gestures aim to spot four body language changes before deciding what you think the movements mean. 'How can I tell if they like me ' is one of the most commonly asked questions when it comes to the flirting game. The answer is simple - you look for increasingly positive changes in their body language. As well as telling when someone likes you, being able to spot if your flirtation's going off the boil is also important. Cooling off can happen for many reasons, and thinking back to the time when their body language started to change can give you a good indication as to whether it was something you said or...

Body Language A Conclusion

You should also note a woman's sexual body language both before you talk to her, and after. If she shows positive signals before you speak with her but this turns in a negative direction after you start talking, then she is either unimpressed by the things you are saying or she was sending the initial signals to someone else. If, on the other hand, she sends even stronger positive signals after dialogue is established then you can bet that she is interested. Another important aspect of body language is that women often give off conflicting signals. A woman can signal interest in a man with eye contact and a If a woman's body language does not correspond to her spoken language, pay more attention to her body language because it will often be more accurate. Thus, if she tells you that she is uninterested but us. Body language that occurs naturally is much more subtle than what is displayed on film. Thus, I recommend examining any image meant to explain body language with this in mind....

Your manipulative body language techniques

In the '80s, budding salesmen and entrepreneurs were taught how to take control of meetings with powerful body language techniques These included gems like the power shake, where they fought to get their hand on top movement and their overall position and mood . To get this right you need to be subtle, though. What you don't do is create a perfect mirror image because they'll think you're making fun of them. Do work on this before you use it. It's good to rehearse with a friend and get him or her to let you know when your mirroring is becoming too obvious I Pacing and leading . This is ber powerful stuff that also requires a light and deft touch to make it effective . You talk with someone who is in a state that you find unproductive . Either they are too shy or closed, or they appear nervous or too anxious . You begin by slightly mirroring their pose and or energy . Then as you speak with them you begin to move your own body language into the state you want them to be in This means...

Mastering Body Language

Just as you can improve your voice with a tape recorder, you can improve your Body Language with a video camera. If at all possible, try to get someone to film you at a social gathering. It is painful to watch yourself in the beginning, especially if you are as awkward as I was, but this really helps you to pinpoint your weaknesses so you can improve on them. Highly recommended I was once a huncher. Shoulders rolled over, head down, very submissive body language all around really. I used to approach girls and they would always seemed creeped out by me. (Gee I wonder why) I didn't know how bad I was until one of my girl buddies pointed it out to me. She was a professional dancer, and as part of her training at dance school, she learned how to perfect her posture. Although I thought it was a ridiculous idea at first, but she finally dragged me into a few classes so I could learn When I first started working on my game, I would mirror people all the time. I'd adopt their pose, even their...

Teasing And Oppo Site Body Language

Opposite side in order to be on the proper side of your open gestures. You can also tease by showing feigned disinterest in a woman by leaning or facing away. Showing your back or talking over a shoulder also raises your status. In effect, if she is interested she will compete for your attention and try to reopen your body posture. It creates interest in her because she is forced into chasing you instead of having you chase her, which can be a novel experience for an attractive woman. By this method you are displaying in a manner that makes you dominant and in demand. You can also do this by crossing your legs away from her, showing her the back of your shoulder, and turning your head only slightly to face her while talking. It's akin to playing hard to get, but done nonverbally. You can monitor her interest by examining the strength by which she attempts to regain your attention via specific body language. If she's strongly interested she will try to force you to open up or move...

Looking at the Importance of Body Language

Body language and first impressions As Figure 10-1 shows, your body language, appearance, and tone of voice form over 90 per cent of a first impression. The words account for a meagre 7 per cent of the impact. Yet, if you're like most people, you probably spend more time worrying about your words than you do about the delivery or non-verbal communication you make. 40 of the body language impact is attributable to facial language, head nods, The words you use 40 of the body language impact is attributable to facial language, head nods, The words you use The impact of body language Not only do you have to give off the right signs - such as good eye contact, great posture and proximity, smiling, and so on - to create a positive impact, you also have to be able to read and interpret body language. Reading others' body language is vital to flirting, socialising, and business success. Khan worked in IT, in a male-dominated environment. He wasn't great with the opposite sex, so went and...

Body Language and Non Verbal Cues

So how do we subcommunicate the right things Through proper use of body language and non-verbal cues. As I mentioned, facial expressions, voice intonation, speed of speech, how you walk, the way you carry yourself through the world, making eye contact, how fast you move, and even our breathing communicate attributes to the people around you. We can find a wealth of information about people by their body language. In terms of seduction, we learn to read what females are feeling on a deeper level. A woman will do the exact same to you tenfold. Their process of screening by looks and body language is a self-defense mechanism. She really doesn't want to hook up with some low self-esteem loser. So, what exactly are the non-verbal cues that women look for This is an aspect of body language not often noticed by many men. Emotional projection. The emotion or feeling you are projecting when you approach a girl is the greatest factor that will determine the success or failure of the approach....

Getting in Tune with Body Language

Body language is a fundamental part of flirting because it shows how available, attractive, enthusiastic, and sexy we are, or are not. Being able to interpret other people's body language and actions provides you with clues to their emotions. You can use this information to tell when someone fancies you and also to build relationships at work and socially.

Turning heads with body language

Would the paparazzi be chasing Brad Pitt or Angelina Jolie up the red carpet if they moved like Homer and Marge Simpson Not likely. Body language that's different to the norm grabs attention. Strong, definite movements, for example, demonstrate confidence, which in turn serves as both a magnet for other people and as an aphrodisiac. (You can read more on confidence in Chapter 5). People who exhibit definite body language and distinctive movements, as well as those who move differently as a result of disability, for example, stand out. Flick through a magazine and you'll see celebrities all exhibiting the same body language. You'll never see these people slouching or with their heads down - unless they're in disgrace or caught off guard by the paparazzi. Use star body language by doing the following Figures 7-1 and 7-2 demonstrate the differences between ordinary and star body language. Figure 7-1 Ordinary body language. Figure 7-1 Ordinary body language. Figure 7-2 Star body language....

They mirror your body language Likebodied usually

Signals like-minded I Empathetic nodding, in time with your speech. I Open gestures . While body-barriers or concealed hands will suggest hidden thoughts, open gestures that aren't overly performed will often mean agreement I Leaning forward. Body proximity is usually a sign of

The Most Powerful Secret Language Innate Body Language

There are two distinct levels of communication in human body language the innate and the learned. The innate includes things like dilated pupils, licking lips, flushing cheeks, smiles, raising eyebrows, etc., while the learned includes vocabulary, dining styles, fashion, etc. Pupil dilation is a fascinating example of innate body language. The more dilated your pupils are, the more light they allow into your eyes. If you're staring close to something, you'll see it much better. That's a powerful reaction for something we may never have considered, but innate body language is deeply rooted in the subconscious mind. We humans express ourselves through it without intending to do so and without ever even realizing that we have expressed it. This makes this form of communication very difficult to control. A master communicator who understands these concepts at all levels, who both understands and controls this innate level of body language, is unbelievably attractive to women.

Keep your points short and concise and your body language dynamic

I One of the least popular body language routines during meetings will come from the serial moaner. He or she will make a point with barely disguised irritation or suppressed anger or frustration Then he or she will sit back in the seat with arms folded, and he or she will always execute what I call the 'turkey neck-wobble' as he or she speaks This type of person's favorite phrases are That's all very well, but or simply Yes, but. Don't become them . Keep open body language gestures, a positive facial expression and good eye contact

Redcarpet knowhow relationship body language the celebrity way

I've been analyzing celebrity body language for TV and magazines for several years and believe there's a lot we can all learn from their red-carpet poses. Celebrity couples are infamously popular, and thus there will always be a strong whiff of professionalism hanging around any celeb pairing, making it easy to be suspicious about the real messages behind the ones we see on display. By reading a red-carpet couple's performed signals and then looking for their body language leakage you can gain some good insights into the state of some of your own relationships. I Some celeb couples manage a status imbalance, but many more struggle. Look at footage or shots of musician Rod Stewart and model Penny Lancaster and you'll see a big star employing submissive body language with his taller and more camera-friendly partner . At one stage Rod's response while Penny took over the interview was to ogle her cleavage to reinstate his alpha male credentials I Some celebs appear to struggle with...

Developing Killer Rapport with Body Language

You're moving into the non-verbal territory in this part. Contrary to popular belief, what you say isn't as important as how you say it. The chapters in this part cover how to project all the right signals to let people know how interested you are, make all the right noises without saying a word, spot the secret flirting clues that are specific to men and women, and learn how to spot a liar. Enjoy practising, offering, and interpreting the body language clues you need for successful flirting.

How To Use Power And Suggestion Of Body Language

The man with the greatest chance for success with a woman is a man who can attract her, approach her, and seduce her by using both verbal and non-verbal language. This chapter is all about body language - yours and hers. You need to know how your body language influences her reactions and opinions toward you. You need to know how to get the results you want by telling her what you want before you approach her. You'll learn what impression you can give her and how you can convey your intentions to her by using simple gestures. You'll also learn how to pick out the women that will be the most responsive to your efforts. You want to minimize your chances of rejection. In this chapter you will find out how to spot the women that want to be picked up and those tat want to be left alone. You will learn how to use body language to communicate with women. You will soon learn how to read a woman's movements and reactions to determine what she's thinking and how she feels. Body language is the...

What Is Body Language

For those who have difficulty believing in body language, here's one way to look at it. To a gun toting mugger who speaks English, most of us would use body language and words to neutralize the threat. Body language Yes Raise your hands. Look as powerless and non-threatening as possible, In a pleading, helpless voice say, Take my money. Please don't shoot. I have two kids at home. A LANGUAGE WE ALL SPEAK The natural experts on body language are pets and kids. My cat knows when I'm angry with her, when I'm indifferent and when I'm ready to feed her. A child knows when Mommy's happy and when Daddy's lying. Cats have never read a body language book, and neither have kids, yet they know exactly what we (you, me, everyone) are feeling. As we are educated by our culture we lose our innate ability to read and speak body language. Everything is body language tone of voice, clearing our throats, rubbing our eyes, crossing our arms, tapping our toes, touching our nose everything except the...

Body Language Rules Rule 7 Show Dont Tell

This is a golden rule for all your body language performances Words are about telling but your body language is all about showing It's a bit like sex Anybody who tells you they are a good lover isn't. How do I know Because they felt the need to tell you Someone really hot in bed would just let their technique do the talking . When they tell you, they're projecting what they want you to tell them . By showing, you offer proof You can't tell people you're friendly and warm if your body language is saying I'm a sociopath However, you could just keep quiet, smile in a friendly way, and use open gestures, and they'll soon be telling you what a nice, decent sort of person you are and how much they want to be your friend Showing is a body language thing, then Your overall signals will take care of the showing Your hand gestures and eye contact will act as endorsements to your message Now a guide to body language excellence . It's basic but it's easy to do Any time used will be time invested...

BoDY LANGuAGE RuLEs RuLE 6 Keep PractiCiNG

Learning your Power Pose and your pole positions has been an easy way to create a sound base for all the rest of your body language work Whatever else you learn as you read this book you should never suffer from neural pruning (dropping something you've learned to make room when you learn something new) when it comes to these two basic ways of holding yourself Getting these right is like putting the best gasoline in your car or the right food-fuel in your body Take a few seconds each morning to look in the mirror to get your Power Pose right, then reboot at work when you feel yourself drooping

Body Language vs Verbal Language

But while verbal language can hide the truth, body language cannot. Body language. It is the final barometer of the truth. It bares and reveals innermost thoughts. Anyone can tell a tall tale in a flat tone and appear credible. The tongue is so glib it can make the most outrageous appear factual. But understanding body language does more than help identify the current mental state of others. Expert knowledge of this nonverbal form of communication empowers you to project any image desired. This is where its study becomes so invaluable. Body language helps set the appropriate environment to persuasion. A master uses body language to subliminally influence his prospects. He creates irresistible messages that subconsciously persuade and control. Through special gestures, he communicates in a very subtle, yet forceful way. By combining verbal persuasion with subtle non-verbal persuasion, compliance becomes all too easy to obtain. Body language can identify you as calm, confident, and...

Read Her Mind By Reading Her Body Language

Contrary to popular belief, it is not very difficult to read minds. You simply need to pay attention to another person. Attune your perception to their mannerisms and body language and you can tell a great deal about what a person is thinking and feeling. First of all, you can break down a woman's body language into several smaller components, but make sure you're also looking at the whole, too. Just because she smiles a lot at you (a good indicator) does not mean she's digging you if she's turned away and crossing her arms. The whole is greater than the sum of the parts, as they say. Most women are usually very readable by just stepping back and taking in the whole picture. Here's a drill that will radically improve your ability to read people's body language more clearly o Congruity - Do her words match her tone of voice What about her body language Is there a message she seems to be communicating without words When you've done this for just a short while, you'll start to get a feel...

Body Language Types

I've created a similar form of typecasting for your body language While stereotyping is usually a bad thing, this identification of your own style of bodytalk will be valuable because it will enable you to flex it when you want to communicate effectively with others In the workplace it's this flexing that will become one of your greatest tools for persuading and influencing

Body Language

I believe that the words you say actually don't matter much. What matters is HOW you say them with both your voice and your body language. You can say a word and have it mean just about ANYTHING by shifting your voice tone and body language. You can be sarcastic, funny, serious, or whatever. Women are as much as 10 times better able to read subtle body language than men. When I first started learning about how to meet women, I can remember thinking that I needed to learn pick-up lines and other tricks. I had no idea that this stuff was basically useless without the all-important understanding of how body language works. After a lot of trial and error, I started to realize that when my body language and voice tone were correct, I could say ALMOST ANYTHING to women, and they would feel ATTRACTION. A lot of my little practical tips are ways to say, I'm confident and in control, I'm the selector through body language turning away first, walking away to give her space, squinting, pulling...

Faking Body Language

A commonly asked question is, 'Is it possible to fake your own body language ' The general answer to this question is 'no' because of the lack of congruence that is likely to occur in the use of the main gestures, the body's microsignals and the spoken The human mind seems to possess a fail-safe mechanism that registers 'tilt' when it receives a series of incongruent non-verbal messages. There are, however, some cases in which body language is deliberately faked to gain certain advantages. Take, for example, the Miss World or Miss Universe contest, in which each contestant uses studiously learned body movements to give the impression of warmth and sincerity. To the extent that each contestant can convey these signals, she will score points from the judges, but even the experts can only fake body language for a short period of time and eventually the body will emit signals that are independent of conscious actions. Many politicians are experts in faking body language in order to get...

Tips on how to look congruent

I Focus on your goals before you speak . This will motivate you, making your words feel real, which should make your gestures feel genuine, rather than coming across as rehearsed I Sell your message to yourself first . Ifyou believe what you're saying, then your body will fall into synchronization I Avoid exaggerations when you're trying to be convincing. The more you stress your point the more chance your gestures will let you down I Control your breathing and de-stress your body before you speak When pressure builds up your muscles tense, making natural-looking body language impossible Breathe out slowly to relax your body and give your hands and feet a little shake to relax the muscles in your arms and legs I If your shoulder muscles are tense, then your entire body will look awkward Drop them back and down and stretch your neck upward as this will unlock your posture feel yourself struggling to add a gesture to endorse something you said, drop it and do something else with your...

Your verbal vs nonverbal skills

If words are so unimportant when you're creating an effective communication, how come we've neglected our nonverbal skills Like sex, body language expertise should just come naturally but like sex sadly, it rarely does . Animals don't need manuals to help them signal fear, fight, or flirt, so why is the human animal, with all its great intellect, so confused and intimidated by nonverbal messages How did we get so paranoid and puzzled by a process that is so simple it should be a joy The answer is that while animals coped well with body language, humans (as usual) decided to tinker around with what was already a perfectly decent system Or to put it another way, we started to speak . Overcome with our own cleverness at inventing words, we then decided to stop using our eyes In an effort to maintain social decorum and harmony, all kids from about the age of two years old are told that it's rude to stare . Great. Stop looking at other humans and stop reading their body language We then...

Word test finding out why your words dont always count

Ask a friend, relative, or partner to lie on the floor with their eyes closed Then, using concise, step-by-step verbal commands, tell them how to get up . Each instruction must be gradual and specific and you mustn't use body language You can't say roll over or sit up but you can say things like move your hand forty-five degrees to the left . See how hard it is to form clear, precise, specific verbal communications without the nonverbal signals to

If your target quality is status or leadership

Your body language tools are I A firm handshake I Good eye contact I Straight posture I Sitting centrally or at the front I No fiddling or wriggling I Smooth, emphatic gestures Your body language tools are I Measured breathing I Smooth, synchronized body movements I Lowered shoulders, not tensed or hunched I No fiddling I Sitting back in your seat I Elbows on the arms of the chair I Hands lightly clasped Does modifying your body language like this make you a liar Shouldn't you just be yourself' Isn't this conning people and acting false or not being true to type Honing or changing your body language signals is part of a natural process You learned most of it by imitation and there's nothing wrong with adding to your repertoire You'd feel happy about learning new words to express yourself, so why not new gestures Another fact of body language is that when you feel that you're being yourself you probably aren't Most people I coach are mortified when they first see their own body...

Step two play to your strengths

Here's how your body language works as a communication tool I You talk to someone. 4 Stage four assimilation Your listener starts to link what they have seen to memories This is the conscious evaluation process Based on previous experiences of your gesture your listener is going to make judgments on your personality or mood The listener is rummaging through their memory banks to form connections, meaning they're trying to create understanding by relating this to a time when they've seen this gesture before and remembering what it meant when they did As you can gather, this is a very flawed way of assimilating information, especially when it comes to body language What if they have poorly evaluated their past experiences This is why it's so important to evaluate your own body language signals and make some effort to understand their effect on other people If you're aware that folding your arms could create the impression that you're standoffish or even aggressive you can begin to make...

Crossing And Blocking

While reading the following signals, it is important to keep in mind the context in which they appear. For example, in a business meeting, it would be foolish to read a hair toss as a sexual signal, especially if it was done by your boss in front the rest of the staff and wasn't followed by strong eye contact. A co-worker having legs crossed toward you, given a similar context, would also not be a signal of interest. The situation in which the action takes place is important. One might also consider the location and the greater environment such as the temperature. For example, in a hot building, a woman might begin to remove a long-sleeved shirt or unbutton a blouse. For someone not attuned to the situation, this could be taken as an overt sexual message, but in reality it might not be a signal at all. Conversely, at a formal event or around newly acquainted people, or while presenting at a meeting, the body tends to tense up. An approach, at this time will not reflect true feelings....

The ultimate power pose

This simple but effective technique will form the basis of all the rest of the work you're going to do . In body language terms it's a one-size-fits-all . This realignment technique will be appropriate whatever your circumstances It creates a perfect springboard for all your other gestures and signals . Get this one wrong and you'll never get the other stuff right

Getting iT ALL RiGht Means GettiNG iT WRONG

I always impress on people that it's a very good idea to at least start right with your body language . I call this getting into pole position Start well and finish better, but start well and go slowly downhill and at least you'll know they saw you looking good during the blink, or first impression Start badly and go downhill and you might as well give up

Taking control of your inner demons

I Recognize that your responses to any scenario or transaction can be courtesy of your inner demons These are all natural, instinctive voices but your leader voice will need to be developed to control all these others to help achieve your own image goals I Now's the time to identify that leader voice. It will stand for logic and reason It will need to be able to take control in any emergency and it will need to be able to self-coach, reminding you of all you stand to gain and everything you could lose if you allow your child animal diva voices to take control . I The name of this voice or state is adult . I When you feel emotions taking over, focus on this adult state and allow it to steer your body language Think positively and tell yourself to expect positive outcomes Let this reflect in your posture and gestures I Visualize your adult self . Put a face to it and even a name to it, if it helps See it coping in an emergency Then mimic it in your body language . Your adult state is...

Leakage hand gestures

Remember your body language leakage, all those give-away signals that act as your Personal Heckling system Well, much of your leakage will come from your hand gestures, which tend to go out of control once you're put under pressure Many of your leakage gestures can be misleading, but I've already read you the riot act over no sick notes and that rule has to stand

Tips to spot the liar

I Remind yourself of your partner's normal, honest body language behaviors Invest some time in studying them more closely to spot patterns of behavior I Beware the error Othello made if you do decide to confront your partner Being placed under pressure by being accused can produce shifty-looking body language signals in the most innocent person I As does their body language look for new gestures . I And don't overlook changes in their musical taste they'll start

Avoiding status squabbles

I Throughout the early life of your child, try to avoid body language gestures that emphasize height, size, or power differentials like looming over someone, placing your hands on your hips, shouting, or blocking their way These can come back and bite you I Use real signals of intellectual power instead. Keep calm and use assertive body language like eye contact (though not hard staring) open, emphatic, but unswerving gestures and physical confidence rather than underlying aggression I Many if not most family squabbles are prompted by status incon-gruence In an animal colony this would be sorted out by fighting, but, luckily, humans are usually less willing to gouge, claw, and wrestle to establish the pecking order Always remember that no hierarchy is ever totally stable People leave home and get promoted in the workplace, family members age, and the nurturers and protectors become the ones needing to be cared for Status squabbles in families focus around seating and sleeping...

Relaxed Body Po Stures

Mark is displaying perfect body language here. He is relaxed, leaning back and away, with his legs slightly spread. He is showing that he has high value and is entertaining Julie with his conversation. Because he is leaning back, Julie is forced to lean forward to engage him, and because she is doing so, it's a signal of interest. She is also playing with the stem of her glass which adds to her indicators of interest. Mark is displaying perfect body language here. He is relaxed, leaning back and away, with his legs slightly spread. He is showing that he has high value and is entertaining Julie with his conversation. Because he is leaning back, Julie is forced to lean forward to engage him, and because she is doing so, it's a signal of interest. She is also playing with the stem of her glass which adds to her indicators of interest.

Affect DoNt Be Affected

The first few people you see when you walk into your workplace are not responsible for your mood for the rest of the day Some receptionists and security guards are not fresh from charm school and many make it their life's work to take out their own inadequacies on the rest of the world Always go into holding mode with your body language . Keep your facial expression polite and friendly. Other people's moods are of no interest to your body language performance Find out their name and greet them by using it Never stop to talk, though There is a law of human dynamics that states the more miserable and rude front-line staff are the harder employees to cheer up . Don't try . It's a waste of effort. Employ holding mode and move on bonding device Your key body language leakage points here could be a sour expression on your face, shoulders raised upward through stress of journey, lining up at reception like a caged animal, pacing and eyes scanning about for escape, ditto at the elevator,...

Dont be coy about the fact that youre selling something I

I've described the skills of body language rapport in other chapters and the rules don't change when you're selling Remember the values you're trying to promote I Enthusiasm I Honesty I Knowledge I Marginally lower status off the power shake and the alpha body language signals I Mirror their body language in terms of pace and posture but do it subtly I Pace yourself it's good to look calm. Avoid nervous body language rituals or self-comfort rituals Drop your shoulders and breathe out

Youll look sickeningly cute I Keep appropriate space between you and your customer

Buyers are always considered higher in status than sellers It doesn't mean you have to grovel, but your body language should reflect that fact Receptionists who look pompous or high on themselves will annoy the hell out of a customer Look confident and in control, but never stand more upright or look more relaxed than your customer Avoid basic status displays, too, like hands on hips, too much eye contact, or a puffed chest I Illustrate your instructions with your gestures. If you're working at a hotel desk or reception, you'll already be aware that people take stupid pills before they walk into the building We can't take directions and we're terribly bad at listening to instructions Tell us our room is on the left and we'll go to the right Say second floor and we'll take the elevator to the fourth And you don't even want to see us struggling with the lighting and the electric coffee maker or the shower once we get into the room . Never patronize,...

How to get a pay raise

The decision about your pay raise It is a good rule in business to trust no one Therefore, jumping through body language and image hoops in the hopes your line manager will report favorably on you to the HR manager or whoever is probably going to be time wasted Always perform in front of your target audience never work by proxy. I Make an appointment for your ask . Choose the time carefully Is he or she a morning or afternoon person When does his or her job get really busy When does he or she prefer to mellow and chat What time does he or she like to leave work Tune in to his or her thinking and mood patterns I Try not to drop hints . People are easier to persuade if they're caught on the hop, before they've had time to formulate their response If you're asked for a reason for the meeting, try the Trojan Horse technique, telling your boss it's about the order numbers in accounts then adding the pay raise on to the agenda once you're in the meeting I Look as though you expect a...

Face them front on sit upright and dont fiddle Use eye

Contact as you ask for the pay raise and never drop your gaze at the crucial point Avoid face-touching or face-covering gestures or you'll look defensive or as if you don't believe your own points I Keep it simple . Simple points to persuade and simple body language to back them up and make them look convincing I When you tell them why you should have a pay raise, make your reasons sound as if they're for their benefit rather than your own Although it might be valid to say you're up to your ears in the mortgage, it will have a greater influential effect if you can tell them why the business will gain from your added income This is called the WIIFM principle What's in it for me

Never use signals of suppressed aggression or challenge It

Only makes it easier for them to say no Workplace conflicts never lead to resolution. Never offer threats or you'll kick off a status or power battle that only a boss can win I For this reason keep your own body language slightly subservient to theirs, although always display confidence If you look overpowering you might even make them want to say no There have been many moments when I have been keen to make changes to suit the person talking to me but their attitude has made me relish the opportunity to turn them down I Never display signs of suppressed anything. Sitting in front of your boss looking like a volcano about to erupt will only ever change your state for the worse Breathe out and leave all emotional baggage outside the room Red faces, hands balled into fists, bulging eyes, tearful eyes, lip chewing, hand wringing, or baleful staring will do nothing to add value to your argument Look intelligent and reasonable I Emotion is better issued verbally in the workplace. Physical...

How to have an office romance

Why not Well, your body language will give you away Office or workplace environments tend to create a lot of in-tune people . There's a colony feel to the teams and groups that form and, like any animal colony, survival depends on the ability to read and sense one another's nonverbal messages Sexual nonverbal messages don't take a lot of sensing . For a start, there's a natural desire to pair people off. Every colony has its own speed-dating section and if two of its members tend to register as a possible match, their names will have come up in people's

Pictorial On Showing Disinterest

Eye Contact Body Language

Scarlett is either completely bored and yawning or else offended by what Dave has said. Dave is obviously on the wrong track to attraction. His body language also indicates his own misfortune. His reaction shows his admittance to being caught saying something that he shouldn't have. Scarlett is either completely bored and yawning or else offended by what Dave has said. Dave is obviously on the wrong track to attraction. His body language also indicates his own misfortune. His reaction shows his admittance to being caught saying something that he shouldn't have. An interested woman will rarely be concerned with the hour. Being lost in the time is not happening here. Scarlett would surely not be concerned about being out too late if Dave was more interesting. Dave, on the other hand, is displaying poor body language as he is speaking through his hand. This is common for people with low self confidence who feel awkward or uncomfortable or who are lying. He also has one hand in his pocket...

Autocontact Gesture Selftouch

Cluster Signals An overall view of someone's body language gestures Complementary Body Language This occurs when two or more speakers talk from the same body language state, or a state that is sought by the other speaker . For instance, two friends chatting might both use animated gestures and smiles . However, it would also be complementary if one person was dominant and dictatorial and the other submissive and compliant Compound Gestures Gestures that require several stages or Cues Body language cues refer to the way we draw conclusions about someone from looking at them Cutoff Signals Usually a dropping of the head or closing of the eyes to register lack of interest or attention or a desire to be somewhere else Delayed Gratification Pausing before moments of pleasure, usually to enjoy or relish the anticipation or to enhance the pleasure Denial Gestures These are often small body language gestures and or expressions that appear to disagree with or confuse the speaker's key point...

Signals Of Female Interest

Often when attracted to one another, men and woman display in a submissive manner. They will show meekness and harmlessness and the desire to form bonds with people will become more obvious. This has the effect of breaking down territorial borders that people often have and allows individuals to get closer to one another. If you are to get close to a woman, you must let down your daily guard. You must not show dominance and superiority. A man looking to get close to a woman should act more childlike and show signs of receptivity. As you read through this section, keep in mind that at times body language is confounded and confusing. That is, a woman who is holding herself in an apparently defensive manner may in fact just be cold. It can sometimes be very difficult to read others and sometimes no cues are offered at all to be read. Don't fall into the trap of thinking that people are constantly giving off useful body language sometimes the body is saying nothing at all. Pointing is a...

Changing your hand habits

You'd like them to change I Know your goals . What do you want to do with your hands while you speak Open, emphatic gestures Then send that image down to your subconscious presents like an anxious-looking self-hug Drop your shoulders as you've learned to do in your posture exercise and allow your elbows to move out slightly from your waist . Get a little air in under your armpits, it will make you look more confident and in control I Never allow your fingers to go rigid, stiff, and spiky. This is caused by muscle tension and will make your nervousness obvious I If you have a habit of restraightening your tie, buy yourself a tiepin and grow out of the gesture. If you want to be reminded of how this comes across, watch how David Brent did it in the British The Office and how that nervous habit made him look A tie is a phallic garment worn like a huge arrow pointing toward your willy . Keep touching it and drawing attention to it and well, you work out what it means . I Use your...

Working On Your Selfconfidence

Are you comfortable in your own skin Are you okay with your own thoughts These are some of the key issues that will arise when it comes to attracting a mate. Taking the time to think about who exactly you are is a key part of becoming attractive to someone else. Being honest with yourself is also a factor here. It is apparent to others when you are unsure of your own beliefs, or further to this, aren't particularly accepting of yourself. Great confidence comes from examining and accepting your true self. Self-confidence is normally rated very high in terms of attractiveness by the opposite sex. If you practice hard enough, you'll probably be able to temporarily fool people with confident body language, but at some point, in order to have a constructive relationship, you're going to have to face all the buried feelings you have about yourself. It's never too late to improve yourself and there are plenty of ways you can do this. Being a complete and well-rounded person is a lifelong...

Open Posture Open Mind

In performing this handshake, Dave is pulling Scarlett into him slightly and Scarlett is cooperating nicely. She has an erect posture, her legs are open, and she even has her left hand reaching for her lap to steady herself so she can move into Dave even more. On a first introduction, things look good for Dave. If one is keen on the study of body language, they will also notice that she has puckered her lips, which is a signal that she may be interested in a kiss at some point throughout the night. Her eyes are also cast toward his face, and quite likely at his mouth, furthering the

Making A Good Impression

Despite feeling a little bit awkward in front of the camera, Dave shows the proper body language. His feet are shoulder width apart or slightly greater than shoulder width, his hands are out of his pockets, and he is not using the bar or wall for support or comfort. He is saying that he is alright all by himself. The only thing missing in the photograph is someone to dialogue with. A buddy or group of women would definitely complete the picture.

Pictorial On Personal Space

Intimacy Picture Body

The tables have been turned in this situation. This illustrates the importance of body positions and levels well. Scarlett is towering over Dave making him feel subordinate and intimidated. The plane her body makes encroaches near, and possibly over, the halfway mark on the table. Dave is showing that he is being aggressed upon and is pulling his drink toward himself and trying to avoid direct eye contact by moving his chin away from her. It is evident that Scarlett is putting Dave down and asserting her position over him. These are all indicators of disinterest as she is using body language to establish control over the relationship. Dave is using body language here to his advantage. He wants to come across as non-threatening so he lowers his body height compared to hers. Using body language in this way does not necessarily mean that the man is less dominant, but it does show courtesy. Scarlett appreciates this approach and even permits him to move closer than normal with only a few...

Celebrity charismatic types

Her charismatic signals came from a blend of a naturally regal bearing combined with the use of postural echo or body language mirroring, plus the constant employment of tie-signs . This made her seem regal, special, and accessible, which is a potent blend Her posture was always impeccable, but she flexed her body language communication style to create empathy with anyone she spoke to Plus she would dip her head but raise her eyes and use a small suppressed smile This made her audience feel like a friend she was sharing a joke with David is a very obvious example of sporting charisma In many ways this type of charisma goes with the territory as kids at school we were all impressed with the uniqueness of anyone who could achieve greatness in the sporting arena . Being a world-class sportsman or woman only magnifies that effect David's body language also manages to do what it says on the packet with his raised chin, one-eyebrow frown, eye fixed on the horizon, and undeniable good looks,...

A brief guide to incongruence

Okay, who stepped out of line and who stepped on whose toes This is where your words are doing a tango your vocal tone's waltzing while your body language is busy break dancing . Your signals just don't match, which makes anyone watching think there's something fishy about your main point You don't look as though you mean what you say Even your own body's not convinced I also call this type of body language Personal Heckling . When your words, tone, and body language all say different things it's incongruent For the listener or audience this creates a state of cognitive dissonance that is, they receive conflicting signals and are unsure about which message to believe For their own intellectual comfort they'll opt for the most reliable and this means it's the body language that they will usually assume to be the more honest communicator We think it's harder to fix and rig, and in many ways we're probably right The only variable is if the listener is keen to collude with the lie, in...

Creating Complementary Behaviors

Much will depend on whether these body displays are complementary or not. Often the problems come when a parent displays parental gestures in front of his or her child's friends or peers, thus lowering a child's status in a pack it needs to survive in. Remember the kids getting a kiss from their moms at school That kiss is probably sought by the child at home, but spells doom for the child when it's performed in front of peers . Complementary body language transactions are ones that assume compatible roles . For instance, when a parent tells a child to Clean your room and uses staring and finger wagging to make a point, the parent is adopting a critical, dominant role, which will seek out a submissive, compliant response If the child says, Okay, sorry, Dad, hanging their head, dropping their eyes, and rushing upstairs with a dustpan and brush, the transaction will have been complementary

Pushing the transaction

Creating complementary body language transactions isn't always useful, though If your best friend has a habit of raising her status by ordering you around and telling you what to do, you can take a complementary stance by adopting a subservient pose, dropping your posture, and doing what you're told, but unless you have a predilection for servitude you'll probably feel a building resentment each time you act compliant It's very possible, then, that you will want to make moves to change your friend's behavior Instead of the compliant, complementary response, you might opt for something less servile that will make her less likely to dominate you It would be tempting to try an aggressive stance, staring hard and pointing as you accuse her of bossing you around This is likely to force her even further into the controlling state by getting angry and arguing Strategic body language plotting means you'd opt for an assertive state, keeping calm and adult as you use enough eye contact to look...

A brief guide to congruence

It's vital that your communications look congruent You'd think this would be easy enough when you genuinely do mean what you say, but it's not Incongruent communication doesn't just happen when you're lying or trying to mask or deceive Your body language signals can go skidding out of kilter for several reasons The most common one is shyness or embarrassment . Shyness produces physical awkwardness The more you feel you're being watched or scrutinized the more awkward your body language becomes, so by the time you try to speak it's unlikely you'll manage to produce a full set of signals

Appearing Relaxed And Calm

Men who have their affairs in order are calm and relaxed. They are at ease and aren't jumpy. In social situations, they appear to be in control. Their arms and hands are in front of them and they aren't fidgeting. Some body postures you should avoid are raised shoulders as if cold or scared, a wrinkled forehead, tightened facial muscles or eyes that appear wide open. Less dominant males have their eyes open wide, looking around the room nervously and appearing like they don't belong. The more novel the social situation is to such a male, the more pronounced his negative body language will be. This sort of man comes off as meek.

Teeth for the purpose of fight I Selfharm like scratching pulling at own hair or hitting self

Remember to be perceptive in the workplace, taking note of your colleagues' body language gestures, but always keep in mind that no one gesture will ever give the game away . Make sure you're firing on all cylinders, listening to what's said, watching for their general behavior, looking for clues in things like the tone of their voice, and monitoring their body language, both the performed gestures and their leakage signals . Although this book will have given you huge insights into how we think and behave, I do hope you won't become one of those body language know-it-alls who announce to all that they have almost mystical skills of mind reading. Remember that there are no absolutes, but remember too that it's the very complexity of body language that makes it so fascinating. Your study of body language should be an on-going hobby or science. We're all experts and you probably began this book with much more knowledge than you realized. Keep positive about your own skills. The greatest...

Objects As Symbolic Closeness

Either the man or woman can use objects to invade into the other's personal space. Scarlett is using a spoon in conversation to cross the imaginary halfway line between her and Dave. Pens, food, or any other item can be used in this way. A woman might even leave objects such as clothing at a man's apartment. In this way, she could be using it as an excuse to visit again, especially if it is done repeatedly. If Dave performed this tactic on her and her body language changed to a closed position, it would be a signal that the advance was unwelcome._

Brief guide to masking

But not all your body language will be about projecting your ideal message . Unlike animals, humans spend a vast amount of time trying to suppress their negative signals . This suppression of thoughts and feelings is known as body language masking When animals mask they tend to do so for personal survival Apes tend to mask pain and illness because in the wild any sign of weakness could lead to them being attacked However, while most animals signal their other thoughts and emotions freely and honestly, inhibited humans prefer to throw a modesty blanket around any spontaneous or instinctive displays Like prudish Victorians covering up chair and table legs,

Hnhodttclwh

Body language is the most fluent, lyrical, revealing, and significant form of communication . As an off-shoot of the psychology of human behavior, it is intriguing, exciting, fascinating, and fun and yet ultimately frustrating . As a communication skill your body language accounts for over 50 percent of the perceived impact of all your face-to-face messages and so you underestimate its power and influence at your peril . By creating and defining your own body language, and therefore your own image, you will avoid allowing others to perceive you in a way that will have more to do with assumption and misunderstanding than real skills and abilities . However, body language is also a much misunderstood subject and a lot of the current advice on the subject is drivel . By using terms like body language tells and analyzing gestures in a simplistic, comic-book style along the lines of scratching your nose means you're lying, many Do you believe that crossing your arms means you're defensive...

Big business

The image you project is especially vital to your job . Do you ever feel invisible or see your voice, ideas, and potential getting lost because your communications fail to meet their target audience Communication frustration is a common business disease, which is why using your body language as a tool to get ahead is more important than ever before . When no one is listening to your words, why not let your body do the talking for you

Bad Days

You might also create a situation whereby you allow a woman to change her body language. It might be as simple as extending a drink to force an arm that was ordinarily rigid against her body to be extended to accept the drink. This simple motion can serve as a catalyst to more open body postures. There are two theories about moods and emotions either the internal anger is controlling the external negative body language or the negative body language is somehow causing the mind to be in a bad mood. It's most likely a mixture of the two, but the idea still applies. If you can induce people to open up their posture, there is a good chance that their minds will open up as well. Asking a woman to dance can force her body to open up and she may find that the action of dancing puts her in a better mood. In theory at least, it is always more productive to respond to the body language and subtly adjust it first before trying to attack the emotions behind it. Speaking about emotions can...

Adult bodytalk

Example, I want, I get, and to hell with the consequences This is your inner warrior or your inner wimp, depending on the situation It thinks quickly and it acts even faster . You might think you've contained it but it has a habit of leaking out via some of your smaller but deadlier body language signals, letting other people know how you're really feeling 2. Your social voice or your inner diplomat. This is your adult voice, the one that thinks long-term and thinks empathetically It knows the difference between short- and long-term gain in a situation and it will steer you toward the latter In body language terms it is the supreme masker, hiding all those instinctive gestures like snarling, scowling, sulking, and staring, and replacing them with a sunny smile and a stiff upper lip 3. Your logical voice. This is your inner computer, churning out facts and figures and clear thinking, that bypasses emotions and sticks to the detail instead In some people this voice is an...

Um take aim

The thing about our communications and transactions is that often we don't bother to aim them before we fire We're a bit flaccid about our target planning . Our body language aiming is especially suspect We don't get to see our own body language and so we tend to just let it do its own thing Like an overindulged child, though, it starts to become a bit of a liability When did you last take aim with your body language If you've had a difficult transaction, or communication, with time for planning and preparation I bet you spent any prep time working out what to say rather than how to say it . Or how about approaching someone you are attracted to There are loads of articles in men's magazines extolling the virtues of different pick-up lines but few that describe how a guy should stand if he wants to impress a girl Like every other aspect of a transaction, your body language needs to be fine-tuned in keeping with your goal(s) . If you understand your goals you will be well on the way to...

Easy tweaking

The really good news for you is that I will give you some easy tweaking tips that will have a huge effort versus reward ratio, meaning you'll make some seemingly small changes with a hugely positive and potentially life-changing effect I always claim that most politicians are only two body language tweaks away from looking human it's just that either nobody seems to give them advice or they choose not to take it

Changing your state

You can use your posture to motivate, invigorate, uplift and even nourish yourself The Power Pose you're about to do will make you look better, feel healthier, and grow in confidence and self-esteem It's an instant body language make-over Power Posing is part of the technique called changing your state By looking more confident you'll start to feel more confident Body language affects your emotional

Your pole position

I am no fan of overly choreographed body language but in this book I shall be coaching you to be charming Please don't confuse charm with smarm. Charm is a genuine component of charisma Smarm is something else, though . Smarm means using overcongruent body language, falling over yourself to impress or be liked We'll find out more about charm in later chapters, but for the moment just keep the thought in your head that smarm is illegal, at least according to The Body Language Rules .

Chapter Five

This chapter will move you from postural awareness and excellence to thinking about all your gestures Self-analysis can be tough, as self-awareness does tend to lead to awkwardness at first But controlling your body gestures is as vital a competency as being able to control the words that come out of your mouth

Princess diana

Being a designer clotheshorse and a princess could have made Diana appear haughty and remote . However, she consistently delivered a body language masterclass She was a consummate mirrorer, flexing her own body language style to fit whomever she was with, effectively lowering her own status and heightening theirs accordingly . She was also brilliant at producing self-effacing

Sexual power signals

To look at their photos and TV fly-on-the-wall programs, Victoria and David Beckham seem to be in a continual state of manageable flux status-wise When they got engaged it was so obviously Victoria who was the bigger star, with the Spice Girls being mobbed while David walked behind in relative anonymity Then David turned soccer hero and overcame his diffidence in front of the cameras to pose for several key advertising campaigns and fashion spreads Victoria's career dipped and she was suddenly expected to become a camp follower . Having children probably restored the balance, but whenever there's a lull in the family producing there always seems to be news that Posh wants to reboot her career Their body language signals seem to have evolved to cope with these huge status fluctuations While David is always seen in the very traditional alpha role, walking in front with a serious frown and puffed chest while Victoria totters behind him looking fragile, allowing herself to be towed by...

Your inner heckler

When your gestures work they endorse your message, but gestures can also work against you, turning into your own Personal Heckler Why would we want to heckle ourselves Perhaps the word want is inappropriate Usually it's something we're driven to do and are unable to stop These gestures are also called contradictory signals . Ever find yourself telling people how pleased you are to see them or how interested you are in what they have to say, but then find your eyes flicking around the room in what's called an eye-shuffle or your fingers fiddling with your cuff or a yawn building as they speak

Your inner animal

We've seen the power of instinctive thought No matter how much the human animal evolves, there's always that fight-or-flight urge in all of us and it's usually the first option that presents itself This means that when you are under pressure your body language signals are in conflict Suppressing all that fear, anger, lust, and desire to fight is a daily battle that you think you're winning, but are you sure you've managed to delete every trace of that inner ape Just check how many times your hands ball into fists when you get mad or you pull your own hair or wave your hands around when you get anxious

Your inner child

Remember those pseudo-infantile remotivators As you grow up, your body language follows suit or does it We like to think we leave all that thumb-sucking stuff in the stroller, but your inner child will surface in your body When you get put under pressure or placed in a state of fear or anxiety your sympathetic nervous system and your parasympathetic nervous system get into conflict The first prompts the fight-or-flight response and stirs you into action and the second attempts to self-calm In situations where the threat is more in your mind than in reality, these two battling together will produce some uniquely contrasting body language signals that might look very childlike Some will be physiological, like blushing one minute and going white the next as your blood drains, and some will be physical, like pacing about before sitting down exhausted . These can also prompt the next response, which I have called

Truncated gestures

These need to go on to the gestures to ditch list Truncated gestures are the sort you start but somehow forget to finish Ever watched someone talk who stops halfway into a gesture or mime These are called truncated gestures The speaker may pull out a candy and only get halfway through unwrapping it because he warms to the theme while talking Or a speaker may start counting her fingers, intending to count four points off, but get lost after one or two, or she may raise a finger to make a point, and then park it because you go on talking These gestures interrupt the listener The eye tends to focus on chaos and if your gestures are chaotic in this way they will compete with your words and undoubtedly win

Your emotional faces

You should have seen the look on your face is a common comment, but the point is we can't . Unlike your other body language, your only assessments or evaluations of your own facial expressions are likely to be retrospective, and even then you'll need to have been filmed or photographed. Snapshots nearly always lie, either because you were putting on your happy holiday smile or because the only unaware shots that were taken got consigned to the trash can the moment you clapped eyes on them

Eye movement

Something for them and you really don't want to, it's more assertive to explain your reasons than to agree using a volley of fast blinks It's a sign that your adrenalin's pumping, which is in turn a sign of suppressed anger or irritation. Keep your blink rate fixed to normal, and don't use your body language to drop hints

Chapter Eight

Touch is one of the most significant and powerful body language signals there is Its power gets lost in the photographs I analyze for magazines and in many ways you do have to experience it for yourself to get the full effect Even the smallest touch will create a feeling bordering on embarrassment and even distress Ever sit on a train and find yourself cramped into a small space to avoid accidentally touching the foot of the stranger opposite you Or did you ever go out socially and find yourself blown away when someone lightly touched your arm or your hair while they were talking to you

Ushg Boox

Lthough most people recognize the importance of body language during meeting and flirting processes, it's easy to underestimate its impact on every aspect of our social lives When we leave work for the day we often rush to get home so that we can drop the mask and truly be ourselves But that constant lack of masking can mean we forget to create body language cues that will help us avoid conflict or relationship breakdown This part of the book examines some of the pressures of meeting people,

Positive Bodytalk

One of the best things about your body language with your friends is your instinctive tendency to perform postural echo This is a natural mirroring of movement, mood, and pace that can even have the effect of making friends look like one another . Sometimes it's contrived to send a conscious signal of pack formation and exclusivity to the rest of the world An example of this is when school kids create their own gestures and language and clothing style that although not exclusive to their pack and probably copied from others in the first place will be worn as a kind of badge to denote similarities within their group

To Influence A Mover

I Use emphatic but not challenging body language . Avoid higher-status displays, as otherwise Movers will never agree with your idea or point they will just want to smash you down to a lower status level I Be prepared to use submissive displays on occasion to score a hit but only when you can see their decisions will be based on making themselves look big I Make sure your gestures are congruent with your speech. Movers have a nose for people who are putting

Entrances matter

I Keep your desk tidy even if all around you sit in squalor. I Walk the job on a regular basis . Network your way through other departments Raise your profile throughout the entire company Press the flesh everywhere and introduce yourself wherever possible, rather than becoming departmentalized I Face people when you talk to them and use eye contact . Give everyone a few moments of undivided and undiluted attention I Never moan or use negative body language signals . I Avoid denial gestures as you speak, like dismissive shrugging, I Ditto with boy-toys like the BlackBerry . I know it's a marvelous gadget and I know it costs a fair amount but the body language involved impresses no one Holding a small device in your palm and tapping at it with a dinky, dolly-size pen makes you look like a kid playing with a Xylophone or a waiter taking an order

Standing To Arouse

To show high status, keep your torso relatively still and only move your arms and hands to liven the dialogue. This works well when you are talking to anyone, not just a woman, especially when you want respect from them. Use your hands and arms to speak in a more deliberate way. Instead of using your hands to scratch your face, use them to emphasis a point that you are trying to make. Show people that you are in control of your mind by being in control of your body. To verify this, simply observe the body language of men who hold powerful positions.

Lowering Your Drink

Next, try moving a bit closer to her and see if you can get her to uncross her arms with some subtle eye contact. Next, cast your eyes toward her as if you are offering sympathy for whatever bad feelings she is harboring. The final step will be to open her up with conversation, perhaps asking her about her day and getting to the root of the reason for her closed body positions. See if by using open postures, you can get her to drop her negative feelings. You might even try getting her to mirror your positive gestures. Dave is demonstrating how not to hold your drink. Holding a drink at your chest is inadvertently showing a defensive position because it blocks the chest. It is akin to having your arms crossed. Scarlett's body language is basically neutral, but she may be giving off signals of interest by touching her neck.

Gestures

The whole-body baton, almost jumping in the air to make his points . One key thing to remember about emphatic gestures overuse tends to de-emphasize . Ditto with vocal emphasis . Tony Blair was a big user of the emphatic vocal tone but at times devalued it by overuse . Sometimes I would imagine him sitting at home with his wife Cherie saying WOULD Whether your career path leads you toward the White House or in the general direction of corporate IT or accounts, if you intend leading a country or running a reception, you should never forget the power of your nonverbal signals . Jobs can be varied and complex, but getting the body language right is relatively simple Fix your goal first, then select the attributes that you'll need to achieve it Square pegs and round holes never go well together, which is why I often wonder why so many people who choose front-line careers seem to have a pathological hatred of other people But if you do find Front-line body language is full of simple but...

Chapter Fourteen

During our working lives we become consummate body language liars. Even if we enjoy our jobs it's highly unlikely that the workplace is where we would like to be each and every moment of each and every day. Some people hate their jobs so much they'd rather be anywhere else. Some just dislike the people they work with or try to appear more efficient and knowledgeable than they really are. In body language terms, then, business is all about bluff and double-bluff. Which makes reading and analyzing nonverbal signals from your colleagues and clients a bit of a complex issue. Keep in mind the point I made at the start of this book body language is not a precise science. I'd love to give you direct access to other people's thoughts, but it really doesn't work like that. The most fruitful work you can do is on your own body language signals to get your ideal messages across as clearly as possible. The second most fruitful thing you can do is to be more aware of the signals of the people you...

Opening People

A really great test of your skills is to try to open up the most closed person in a room or to open up any person who shows any closed position at all. Find a woman who appears awkward and closed to the rest of the room and use your body language to open her up without using words. For example, a woman whose legs and arms are crossed will appear cold, awkward, and disinterested. Try first to send her an honest and open smile while in conversation with someone else then lower your gaze when eye contact is met. Check to see what affect this has. Perhaps she will marvel at the experience and avert her gaze downward as well. See if you can catch

Acknowledgements

Ron Brooks who's earliest teachings brought me from my studies of psychology to biology in my first years of school. I think without him, I never would have found the truth. Thanks for the eye opening lectures throughout my education and for supervising me during my final year thesis on body language as it related to wealth and status. It was during this time that I discovered my passion for body language. My only wish is that I had shared my knowledge with everyone much sooner, so that they too could enjoy the benefits as I have.

Avoiding Power Plays

Dave is doing something that no one should. He is blocking Scarlett in and cutting off her exits. In this photograph, he is completely blocking her in, but it could very well happen partially with one arm or with another body part such as a leg. Dave is eliciting negative body language from Scarlett. She is moving her head backwards and away and I suspect if she had the chance, she would exit the situation altogether. If he refuses to move, she'll probably knee him in the crotch._ It is not a turn on to have men push women over with their body language. Thus, you should avoid trying to approach women who are sitting by standing beside them and towering over them. Rather, they should be approached from a kneeling position unless a chair is nearby. Women could power play as well by overtly cornering a man at his desk, for example. She may come up and sit on his desk to convey a sense of power over him. Normally this will not come across as a sexual advance, but rather an encroachment on...

Available Women

Available women and non-available women (those in a relationship) all display the same types of body language when they find someone attractive. This is why body language is so universal it occurs regardless of whether or not a woman is in a relationship with someone else and therefore reflects a woman's true attraction toward all men. Women who are not in a relationship, however, will display certain gestures and actions that non-available women typically will not. It is important to watch for these gestures so that you don't waste your time pursuing someone who is already taken. These gestures include having a flushed appearance or blushing in the presence of a man of interest, positioning toward the man, open postures such as palms up, and generally making attempts to get

Shoulder Shrugs

This gesture is performed normally by a person with a soft side. It is given by someone who is prepared to let their guard down to someone else. It can be as subtle as a small lift in the shoulders or could be a full shrug and hold of the shoulders. It normally happens very quickly though and can occur in accompaniment with an eyebrow flash as well as eye contact. This form of gesturing is often unconscious so it makes for an accurate indicator of interest. Other shrugging movements indicating interest include shoulders up, shoulders flexed, and shoulders back. Shrugging is an emotional involuntary response to someone whom you like. This gesture is universal, as is the majority of body language, and not culturally specific. Men also seem to perform this gesture when they are attracted to a woman. This is a shoulder shrug. It's a demonstration of meekness and shows the person of interest that she is willing to let her guard down. Shoulder shrugs represent a shift toward postures...

Eye contact

By looking away from someone you will appear shy or submissive, but remember what I said about pinning your objectives up before you start to make changes Is shyness such a bad thing Think of some people you know who use or used shy body language signals . Four key characters spring to mind former Prime Minister Tony Blair, British politician David Cameron, Princess Diana, and Diana's son Prince William All of these people manage or managed to keep on the attractive side of shyness This means they are able to display terrific confidence in many of their performances, yet still keep a high likeability rating because of their use of a dipped head, dipped eyes, and bashful-looking smiles

An Introduction

I'm excited to be the one to share this wonderful tool with you The ability to read body language will be useful to you for the rest of your life and is definitely not something you will pass over or forget. Body language occurs continuously and in every social situation making it ubiquitous. When a student of body language gets their first dose of knowledge it is very exhilarating. It opens up a whole new world, one that was always there, but otherwise deeply buried in our minds. With a thorough understanding of body language, you will be able to read people from a distance without needing to hear the words they speak. Suddenly, the language of the body will become more transparent and obvious, and those who understand it are given a huge advantage over the rest. Anyone into the dating scene knows how hard it is to read women. After reading through this book and studying the photographs, it won't be a mystery any longer. Without these key bits of information, you cannot have a well...

Micro Expression Master

Micro Expression Master

If You Could Read Everyone Life A Book You Can Have Better Career, Great Relationships And Become Successful. This Book Is One Of The Most Valuable Resources In The World When It Comes To Reading the smallest and tiniest body Language and know what people are thinking about.

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