Body Language A Conclusion
Because men and women are risking a large amount of pride on their interactions with each other, they often send conflicting signals. This serves to protect them from damage caused by rejection. You should never (ever) use verbal language to pose the question of the degree of attraction a woman has for you, especially early in a relationship. The most significant reason for not asking is because it's completely unnecessary. It also demands direct and often risky verbal language in return.
You now have the tools to both read people and also allow people to read you. Use them! But avoid coming on overly strong. She will think that you have nothing better to do, or that you see her as a queen. Just remember that no queen is attracted to her peasants.
A woman who is interested in you is stuck between two extremities. One, she wants to attract you, and two, she wants a long-term relationship (most of the time, at least). For this reason, she cannot overtly display her interest in you. If a woman comes off more forward than others, she is probably signaling her interest in a short-term relationship. However, since most women want more than just a one-night stand, you must expect them to be somewhat ambiguous with their signals. Most women are both undecided with their interest and are also concerned about coming across as being promiscuous.
head tilt, but if it is accompanied by crossed arms then it becomes ambiguous. To be sure that a woman is really interested in you, you should look for at least three to four independent signals simultaneously. You must also make sure that they are aimed specifically at you with eye contact. Use the whole body as the display board, not just parts. Sometimes a woman will send mixed messages until she can tell whether or not you are interested. Be the initiator and send some of your own hints first. She might just follow your lead.
You should also note a woman's sexual body language both before you talk to her, and after. If she shows positive signals before you speak with her but this turns in a negative direction after you start talking, then she is either unimpressed by the things you are saying or she was sending the initial signals to someone else. If, on the other hand, she sends even stronger positive signals after dialogue is established then you can bet that she is interested.
Another important aspect of body language is that women often give off conflicting signals. A woman can signal interest in a man with eye contact and a
If a woman's body language does not correspond to her spoken language, pay more attention to her body language because it will often be more accurate. Thus, if she tells you that she is uninterested but does so in a flirtatious way while maintaining provocative postures, she may just be playing hard-to-get. If this happens, you are going to have to be patient. You will want to wait for her to send the message from her subconscious mind to her conscious mind. It sometimes takes women a while to rationalize their interest in a man. People are really good at deceiving themselves. Almost as good as they are at deceiving others!
Do not rush a woman. If she shows signs that she may not be interested, be patient and take your time. Give her the space she needs, and in the mean time instead of always chasing, do some running as well. Just as women do, allow her to know that you have some interest in her, but that you also have some doubts. Match her interest to yours and keep her guessing so long as she keeps you guessing.
A woman will only signal enough for you to get the idea. If you miss or ignore the signals then she will move on because she will assume that you are either disinterested or taken. If you get the idea and begin to flirt back she will stop most of her nonverbal communication because it will have carried out its main purpose. So make sure you are bringing to consciousness all her hints and cues as they are often fleeting and rare. I have tried many of the techniques in this section and they all work. But do not take my opinion for it, try them out for yourself.
us. Body language that occurs naturally is much more subtle than what is displayed on film. Thus, I recommend examining any image meant to explain body language with this in mind. Not to mention the fact that when we are interacting with someone there are many distractions taking place all around use. It is sometimes very difficult to discern which cues are useful from those that are simply random. That's why looking over the photographs more than once can help. Repetition will move the cues into a place in your mind where identifying them will become second nature, shifting your focus back on your dialogue.
Probably one of the most important points about body language is that it is additive. One single cue on its own is not very useful or accurate. Women adjust their hair and clothing all the time. Some women are also naturally flirty or have certain mannerisms that might come across as positive or even negative body language, but in reality they could be neither. It is thus very important to keep track of what, where and how body language is happening. Cues that occur simultaneously with other cues paint a more complete picture of interest or disinterest. Clusters of cues that happen along with possibly suggestive verbal language should take great precedent over single, isolated cues. Quite often neutral body language is also occurring and represents noise that must be weeded out so that the focus can be put back on cues that actually indicate something of significance.
Photographs and video that we normally see depicting sexual body language are more often than not exaggerated and unnatural. It's clear to anyone viewing the images that it's sexual, but this rarely happens so obviously in real life. In real life, there are many more variables and our decisions are continually changing and evolving. Characters in movies, for example, have predetermined roles and therefore a female character who is interested in a male character will demonstrate body language that will seem overt to
The next time you are in a social situation take the time to look around you and really bring to consciousness what is going on. Take note of the groups of people that have formed, take note of who is talking to whom, who is uncomfortable, who is the alpha male and which women are looking for attention. When speaking with someone directly, note their breathing rate, listening for calmness, confidence, or nervousness. Collect as much information about someone as you can without listening to a word they speak. Armed with that information you should be able to predict certain things about them and hopefully use it to make their lives and yours more positive and constructive.
Lastly, take everything in stride. I have provided a mass of information here, and it is very difficult at first to actually put to use the signals you will now be able to read. Take things one step at a time and you will become accustomed to reading the proper signals and be able to ignore the signals that are meaningless. The vast majority of body movements don't contain any practical meaning at all. A person who is trained in body language will be able to ignore most of what happens during normal interactions, but then immediately pick up on something important and meaningful as soon as it happens. It's really a matter of focusing on the key gestures that convey meaning instead of trying to read all that goes on in an interaction. If you are too busy trying to take everything in at once you'll probably forget how to speak! What used to be left to your unconscious and your gut will now be moved to your consciousness, so give it some time to sink in. After a while has passed you will be able to move the focus back where it belongs onto your dialogue. Revisit all or parts of the book as a refresher as often the mind will have missed, skipped, ignored or most likely, forgotten some important or practical bits of information.
I hope you have studied the book carefully. Body language forms the foundation for attraction and dating and can also come in handy in other social situations, such as at work or school. Body language will save you a lot of time and resources which can be directed toward the right kinds of women. Any woman who is not sending the right messages is not worthy of pursuing. Instead of going after every woman, you can put your focus on a select few who are giving off positive cues of attraction. Happy hunting!
Continue reading here: Acknowledgements
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