The First Touch

Conversation Escalation Make Small Talk Sexy

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The first touch is often hand to hand. To initiate this first touch you could begin by walking side by side with arms at the sides. You can then "accidentally" touch the back of her hand with yours. If she does not remove her hand by placing it in a pocket or across her body or use it to hold a bag then you may take this as a pretty good sign that she is interested in holding your hand. One study showed that women are far more likely to show the first fleeting touch. So if you are patient and smart you will wait for her to give you this signal instead of rushing it on her. If you come across too strong you may scare her off, possibly for good.

There are also techniques to initiate touching, and they stem from being able to make touching casual and unforced. While speaking to a woman at a bar, it could be by placing a hand on the side of a woman's arm. Keep any touching brief rather than prolonged until the woman begins to reciprocate or else shows signs of opening up. It would not be

In this situation, it is obvious that touching is welcome. Julie has offered to fix Mark's collar. She still shows some reservation by continuing to lean backwards. Her gaze is toward his mouth, however, so that could mean she is thinking about a kiss but the rest of her body is holding back._

Overall, touching is a tool that can establish a very profound connection. In a study done where the only variable between two strangers was the presence or absence of touching, it was reported that the interaction that included touching was much more warm. Even waiters can benefit from incidentally touching costumers and often receive a more generous gratuity. A perfect time to include touching is on an initial meeting, and it also works great to remember someone's name. After the initial handshake and exchange of names and before any great length of time has elapsed, be sure to use their name in conversation and simultaneously touch the back of the persons hand or forearm. This is known as anchoring and it creates positive feelings in the other people and connects them to you physically. It is a great way to establish high status, authority, and self-confidence. The reason is simple: touching is risky, and in the mind of the person who was touched, it means a great deal that the other person took such a risk.

It is very important to continue to monitor the effect that touching has on your potential mate. Does her body tense up when you touch her, or does the corner of her mouth curl upwards slightly to form a bigger smile? Does she look down at your hand and wince, or does the conversation remain normal? If you receive a bad reaction to touching, don't let it show in your body language and don't let it affect your conversation and cascade through the remainder of the interaction. A touch rejection does not mean that interest is lacking, it just might mean that touching occurred too soon for the particular woman. Back off a little and allow the woman to resume normal open body language before touching further.

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