How to Leave Everything Behind and Start Over in a New Life
I've been teaching this stuff to people for years. I help men every day through my newsletter, ebooks, and audio programs at http www.datingdynamics.com and http www.Seductionmethod.com. I now offer a complete male self-confidence program at alphaseduction.com where you will learn the Secrets of the Alpha Man and how you can take control of your life - and your sex life.
Well here's the Great Wonder of being alive lurking inside every rotten situation there exists a seed of infinite possibility. If you can find this seed and nurture it somehow, what all the great philosophies refer to as a catharsis will occur in your life. A monumental change which walls off all possibility of going back to the way that you used to be. This process is accessible to anyone interested in taking up the personal challenge of living Life to its fullest expression. No going to the mountain required. Just simple old Knowledge is all that's necessary. On the surface, it may seem as if humans have civilized the mating dance so much that it bears little resemblance to the actions of lower animals, but you'll see that so very much of what goes on between men and women is spoken only in the language of movements and looks and attitudes. So much so that it's a wonder we even bother to weave words into the process at all But, alas, we do and so you must know how to manage your...
Your primary seduction goal is to have as many women as you want in your life. You want to have too many women in your life - so many that you don't have the time to get to them all. That's the place where you have the choice. You have the selection. Your attitude will rise. Setbacks with one woman will not worry you, because you have the supply on your side of the equation. No one woman will mean so much that you get too caught up in your failures. Everything will swing to your favor at this point. Quantity, in seduction, is just as important as quality.
What is the purpose behind this random, swirling madness Man we love to drive ourselves crazy with this one but I believe it is simple. The world exists to teach us and we exist to learn, to grow, to change and to ENJOY the challenge of each lesson we are given. Take this idea alone to heart and you will see a big difference in how you handle your life The problem we face is that a million paths are stretched out before us. There is just too much to learn so we are forced to choose, and many of us are not prepared to face this choice. I remember in college, one of the most common social questions aside from Got any reefer was, So, what's your major It boggled my mind how many people were spending thousands of dollars on their education and ended up taking Business Management because they had no funking clue what they really wanted to do with their lives I would often pry out of curiosity. But surely you must have some talent or passion in life. Blank expression as they formulate a...
At this point, I posted a thread on this site offering to share my eight-week program, and there were many interested members. As such, here is the course outline for the DJ Boot Camp Eight Weeks That Will Change Your Life (what can I say, I'm a marketing guy sometimes I can't help my headlines )
However, as you slowly realize that you truly don't need a woman's approval to feel GREAT, you will start to feel a surge of power and energy and happiness that you have never felt before in your life. Always remember that your identity does NOT equal what women think of you.
Nothing about meeting an attractive woman and winning her favor is luck. You are in charge of your life. Where you are and who your friends are is a direct result of your life choices. The people you know are people you have attracted. You create these relationships, consciously or not, and you have the control to build new and better relationships right now. In fact, you can even decide what kinds of women you'll be meeting and dating before you actually meet them Simply by first knowing who you are and then by describing the kind of woman you want, you're going to put together a plan you can follow for tangible results. Don't leave things to chance or luck. You are responsible for the opportunities that come to you in your life.
If you get a clean bill of health and still feel really lethargic, it's time to make an appointment with a psychiatrist. Depression is the most common and untreated illness in our world, and that's literally a crying shame because it is a very treatable condition. Medication and talk therapy can change your life and give you back the person you used to be.
You sell them a car, and you move on. The customer is your paycheck. Your life is separate from that car dealership. the people you work with. The other salesmen, the clerks, the mechanics, whatever. You see them all the time, you get to know them, you like some of them, you go out and socialize with them. You meet other people at bars and parties, and you incorporate them into your life, and if they need a car, you hook them up.
Attracting women should just be a part of your life, it shouldn't CONSUME your every moment. She will have to compete with your other interests to win a place in your life. Don't wait to find a special woman before you begin pursuing all your other goals. The more passionate you are about your hobbies and career, the more women will want to be a PART of your life, but if a woman sees you have no life and that she will be ALL your life, she will not want ANY part of it.
At the risk of sounding like one of the Pundits, I propose that the first place you should start working be on your own self-esteem. This will be the topic of the first section. The reason this is so important is that ultimately your happiness is not dependent on having a woman in your life. It's not her, really it's how she makes you feel about yourself. The reverse is also true, as we'll explore in female psychology review. The more you feel good about yourself before you start meeting and dating women, the more success you'll have, and the better prepared you'll be for when things get difficult.
The way I think about it is that even if I get one new idea, one mental shift to see something in a new way, one re-iteration of a key concept that I had forgotten, one new application of a concept, then that book or lecture or seminar has been worthwhile. I urge you to look at any learning experience in that way. One spark is sometimes all it takes to start a raging fire, and I hope that you will find many sparks in the time you spend with this book. I would like to congratulate you on making the decision to bring the Tao into your life today. When you allow it, you will find that it will empower you and change your life in ways you had not imagined before. The purpose of The Tao of Dating is not just to give you some tricks and hints for you to scrape by on, but rather to turn you into the most effective, powerful version of you possible. As such, this book is equal parts about transformation as it is about information. In order to effect that transformation, you have to...
The early time, the first sixty days or so, is also subject to what I call the Novelty Syndrome. The newness, the exciting thrill of this fresh possibility in your life, leads you to cover your eyes and tell yourself some very fancy lies. You'll refuse to recognize the warning signals as they come up, and if you do, you can only prepare yourself for pain.
You cannot lose Everyone wants to define your life, to shape it to their ends. From politicians to your friends. Everything is all right as long as you stay you. But if you break out of the mold, everyone, and I do mean everyone, will try to stop you.
Equally dangerous, you should not believe that too many things fall outside your Sphere of Influence or Control. You'd be amazed at how many things in your life are completely within your ability to control or impact. Many people go through their whole lives, convinced that most of the choices in their lives are already made up for them, and all they can do is go along with the program. For example, a woman controls the sex, but her having it with you is still within your influence. Even the car you drive is in your control, because you can choose to go out and learn the skills that earn you more money so that you can afford the kind of car you want to drive. Don't fall for the mistake that your life is programmed by destiny. There is no fate but that which we make for ourselves. Question any area of your life that frustrates you, because those areas are the places that your mind is in confusion over whether you have any control or influence. Chances are, you can influence them. And...
You can see how viewing your life as a beauty contest is hopeless and self-defeating and just a short step away from a pity party you know, woe is me, no one likes me or loves me, I can't get a date, I'm doomed to spending the rest of my life alone diapering cats, I think I'll go eat worms. The self-loathing can move from face and body (I've got a zit farm and a spare tire that any sports utility vehicle would envy) to heart and soul (I'm not a worthwhile person) with incredible speed. If you really feel you absolutely must throw a pity party, stay in bed for a day, play sad music, feel incredibly sorry for yourself, and then cut it out. It's boring and no fun to be around and very counter-productive to dating.
Let's start redesigning your life so that it's more interesting. a If there was no such thing as women and you could spend your life doing anything you wanted (given your current income level), how would you spend your free time The answer is to redesign your life so that it is exciting, even before you add women to the mix. Because that's the bait that will help you to attract women. If you're having so much fun enjoying your life that you don't think constantly about women, more women will show up wanting to get to know you better. There are, however, some basic techniques that will make your life (and therefore you personally) more interesting and thus more exciting. Here are some of the basic principles a It's up to you to change your life -- others won't do it for you. a To change your life, you must (by definition) CHANGE your life more of the same will just get you more of the same. a Changing your life means deleting some old behaviors that aren't adding to your quality of...
One of the ways in which guys get totally fouled up with women is by failing to understand that seduction is really a very elaborate sales process, and, rather than concentrate on selling the product, they focus instead on how badly they need to make the sale. Here's an analogy imagine you're wasting a perfectly good Saturday morning gabbing with a car salesman, but instead of filling you in on all the wonderful benefits of owning the shiny new Nissan you happen to be checking out, he's wining on about how much he needs you to buy this car so he can pay his rent and feed his kids. You would expect the guy to be belching out statistics and features and appealing to your emotions by painting a picture of you behind the wheel cruising down an open country road with the convertible top down. He should be trying to get you jazzed up about making a buying decision by unleashing a flood of reasons why your life would be greatly
As for the future, it's an excellent exercise to decide what you want to do with your life, and then design a future that inspires you. Otherwise, you'll only end up hurting your own chances for romantic success -and since women will collectively be the biggest single investment you'll make during your lifetime -- your economic success as well.
No matter where you are in your life, you should always know who you want to be. To build your self-confidence you need to know who you are, know where you are going, and be actively involved in making your goals reality. If you don't like something about yourself, or you want to try something new, then you should start using your spare time to achieve these personal goals. Take a class, attend a seminar, or enjoy other activities that will help you become who you want to be. It won't take long for you to start building the self-confidence to which so many women are attracted.
It is not unusual for you to be unaware of the presence of tension. Many people develop great tension when they sleep. They even grind their teeth while sleeping. While sleeping, it is possible for your eyes to be tense and strained. When you wake up with tired and smarting eyes, it is because of that tension while sleeping. As you learn to relax more effectively, you will find that you not only read much more effectively, but all areas of your life will be positively affected because of your learning the relaxation skill.
Thanks for answering.I hope you be successful in your life everywhere with anybody and thanks for every thing 'cause you taught me many things going out and meeting some other women, and getting on with your life IMMEDIATLY Don't wait. Get on with it. Point Don't try to un-do it. Just get on with your life and quit obsessing over her.
Respect is something she desires from you. A woman never wants to feel subverted or tricked, and they don't want to be treated as prostitutes, or made to feel as if they are bad in any way. It's your job to treat her with respect. However, respect is also critical for you, too. Respect is what you achieve through the effective presentation of yourself, and it's the primary reason that we'll spend so much time on your inner game. You must establish the rules and the limits here. If you develop and maintain the Three S's that I will teach you, you will be able to keep her respect. Without her respect, any relationship you have will be built on a cheap and shaky foundation, and you will be miserable. She will also test you along the way, to see if you are respect-able, and if you do not pass her tests, you will lose her respect. Once lost, respect can almost never be regained. You must start out with a strict code that women must adhere to. If she violates your rules, she loses. She's...
In fact, image and perception is important everywhere in your life. In the first few seconds, when someone meets you for the fist time, they will have made up their mind about you. Whether you like it or not, your body is constantly giving off messages. Over 70 of your day-to-day communication process is through body language. Your body will project your mood and what type of life you've had.
Now, this may seem a little far-fetched, but if you let yourself believe that this could be your lifestyle, you can really jack up your self-image a few levels. I used these examples because they appeal to me, but you can use any situation that makes you feel more confident about yourself. The more you imagine it, the less silly it becomes, and the more you start to believe that this could really be your life.
What are some of the common themes Heartbreak, sadness, disillusionment, joy, giddiness, hope, desperation, ecstacy, passion, rage, jealousy yada, yada. Almost without exception they all describe the great roller coaster of emotions that flow from the relations between men and women, from the loftiest joys of ecstatic love to the blackest lows of depression and anger. See what's happening here These are all powerful emotions in their own way they are each uncomfortable, painful or distracting. Being possessed by these emotions precipitates a disruption in your life. You end up agonizing over silly things, ruminating over the same thoughts obsessively, or simply being so happy or giddy or sexually addicted that you can't focus and concentrate effectively on the other things you need to devote your attentions and energies to.
So the key is first to fix your life and prepare a kingdom where you are the ruler and can receive girls into the kingdom. A fucked-up, boring life, or a life full of anxieties and troubles which you haven't dealt with is not attractive for anybody, especially not for girls. But when a guy is confident and seems to be exactly who and where he wants to be will draw women in just by the way he subcommunicates abundance and success.
If you find that your thought process about seducing women tends to work like this -- and you don't like the results that you've been getting from it -- then consider these next seven ideas carefully. They may not all apply to you -- but you'll probably see a reflection of yourself here and there I'm sure. Any insight can be valuable when it comes to delivering you from a worthless mindset to one that's at least got a chance of improving your life. The human consciousness follows the same physical principle as water and electricity it flows along the path of least resistance. There's no need for me to repeat the litany of wild emotions that are unleashed by a love affair. You've been ducking them all your life coasting along the twisted path that winds its way along and around -but never through -- those frightening feelings. I know that it takes a firm commitment to allow yourself to become vulnerable to these emotional storms. The anticipation, the uncertainty, the self-castigation...
You'll hear a lot from LoserBoy when you first start making these changes in your life. He really wants you to fear change, and old habits of thinking are very easy to fall back into. Here's a very important Truth you need to know If you start eating right and exercising the way an athlete does, you'll get those results. If you start approaching women the way I will explain, you will get more dates and more women in your life. If you start to take control of your thoughts and plan for your goals, you'll get them. It's not really complicated, is it
You can also develop auxiliary skills which will help this area of your life. For example - join an improv comedy group or take salsa lessons. By never taking a woman's phone number, and only giving yours out you will slowly over time start to believe I don't need anything from women. Or I am indifferent. Changing actions via techniques requires the least amount of self awareness and focus, but at the same time is the slowest route to changing your identity.
For example, you don't stop your life just because a girl rejects your advances. (The rejections won't happen often, though, once you are THE MAN.) And most importantly, getting angry conveys to a woman that you are insecure, weak, and that you are NOT in control of your life.
It's easy to believe in the power of personality and impulsive behavior, and argue that if you train yourself to respond rather than react to situations and stimulus you're being fake However you should always remember that your behavior is not your personality It's your tool, not your master, and you use it and change it to suit your life circumstances The human animal survives on its ability to socialize and create strategies . Working on your behaviors is vital, as is being in touch with your adult self. We are all several selves, not just one, and your ability to flex your behavior via your body language and impact is crucial for your development and success in life
One tactic that will help your attitude more than anything is making sure that you are not focusing all your attention on one target woman. There are many reasons for this, but the most important for you is that it keeps you from behaving too eager or needy. When you have more than one woman in your life, you are not as motivated by the threat of loss.
Establish your code of behavior, and hold people up to it. Most people are too afraid of rejection to call their friends on the carpet for mistreating them. Once you can establish what you want from the men and women in your life, you will have a barometer that keeps you from falling into martyrdom for your relationships. When a woman mistreats you, you let her know that this is unacceptable, and she either cleans up that behavior or she hits the road. She will respect you, no matter what she says or does. Your mission is what your life is about. Think about the great leaders on the planet and what they set out to do. They never had a problem with women because these men were creating a life worth becoming a part of, and that attracts all people.
Food is good. Good food is even better. Good, unusual food is the best and often less pricey than the usual, boring steak or fried chicken. It doesn't have to be the culinary experience of your life, but fun and interesting food (maybe ethnic, but easy on the spices) on a first date is a cool idea. I'm partial to weekend lunch and brunch dates, myself. It's relaxed, liquor's not required, there's plenty of time to get to know each other, and it's in the daytime.
Beware asking her questions that are too directly aimed at negatives, such as What would you get rid of to improve your life right now or What would have made your childhood happier You may think these questions cut straight to where she feels the lack in her life, but they also raise a lot of negativity. You have to be more indirect.
Before we focus on the prosaic of what you can do to get your outside ready, let's talk for a moment about a rather alarming, expensive trend the idea that somehow a person is not going to be lovable unless completely and forever wrinkle and cellulite free, gorgeous, and hard-bodied with an adorable upturned nose and a full head of luxuriant hair. Okay, before you accuse me of being hopelessly old-fashioned, if you have a bump on your nose that you've always hated and you're deciding that now you have the time and the money to get it fixed, so be it. It's cool with me. But if you think changing that bump on your nose is going to help you find love, forget about it. You're likely to be disappointed in not only your nose job but the rest of your life.
I want to congratulate you on making it to this point on your journey to becoming more seductive. We've spent the previous chapters getting you ready in body, mind, and soul. You're feeling better about who you are. You've gotten pretty clear on what you can, should, and do expect from another person in your life, as well as from yourself. Now, it's time to decide where to best apply your newly honed skills, and where to put the new you on display
Over the last few years, tales of romance that begin in the grocery store are increasingly common, and for good reason. If you think about it, you are in the grocery store, presumably, for one reason to buy food to sustain and enhance your life. Even the foods you choose to purchase make statements about who you are. And since single people have to eat like everybody else, they will be in the store making their statements, as well.
Forget talking about the club or what's going on with her in her life. Talk about exciting experiences you have, lessons you've learned, feats you've accomplished, vacations you've taken. And if your life is boring, make stuff up. It doesn't matter, as long as you talk about your passions that are outside of club life.
Couple that with the fact that you commonly avert most everyone's gaze because you're withdrawn and hateful as a result of stewing in your shame for so long, and well, you can see what's happening women are picking up powerful stay away signals from you That's right, you've been communicating non-verbally with women all your life and you don't even realize it The only problem is that you've been sending out the completely wrong message. Stay away, I'm a lowly loser, I'm not worthy Inadvertent perhaps, but clear as a bell nonetheless.
I like looking carefully for alphabet letters and designs that appear in the Mount of Venus area of the palm to help me read questions about love. Sometimes there are one or more initials of the client's significant other shown here. If you notice there is an initial T in the area of the mount of Venus next to the grid in my design of figure 3a. The T noted here is an example of what could be the initial of the first, middle or sir name of the intended love either presently available or upcoming into your life.
So instead of being someone who looks at your life and thinks, I can ' t, imagine the results that await you by thinkng, How can I If you focus on the reality where you are not living the life you most dese, that is the life, the reality, you are accepting. However, if you focus on the reality where you can envson and embrace what having the knd of live you truly dese would fee like, you are much more likely to get it Of the HUNDREDS OF BILLIONS of people that have lived and died on this planet, NO TWO PEOPLE EVER LIVED THE EXACT SAME LIFE
Other art that's worked well for us includes framed wildlife prints by such artists as Robert Bateman and Carl Brenders. They're beautiful paintings, and they add an exotic look to a room even if you've never been anywhere near a moose or an eagle or a lion in your life.
The world is complete exactly as it is, and I am grateful for it. My definition of pain is 'wishing the world to be different than it is.' In metaphysical terms, asking the world to be different (e.g. asking for something in your life) does not serve you because it affirms to the universe the lack of that something in your life. If the universe is a reflection of you, then it's going to come right back to you and say, You're absolutely right that's lacking from your life. So affirming the lack of something has the effect of driving it further away out of your life. approach them if not with desire The solution is to replace desire with gratitude - and, by extension, hope with positive expectation. Hope is needy positive expectation is affirming. When you have gratitude for something, you are accepting its presence in your life and affirming it to the universe. In return, the universe will do the same and manifest that object in your life. So you say, Thank you, world, for bringing so...
So my question to you now is this What knds of things do you want in your life, but don't have, yet other people have it in their lives Since other people have that knd of life, it ' s obviously not imposssble, and it ' s obviously a reality that exsts. So take this time to re-do the Selective Reality exercise, usmg all the things you know other people are enjoying, but are so far outsde your current reality. Trust yourself, this is going to be fun
Tip 28 Give yourself a break score your performance fairly in order to set up your next kick at the can
Well, the seduction effort is now history, time to review your scorecard. Was it a swish or an airball Did you give it your best shot or cave into your fears If things worked out and you pulled a beautiful new friend into your life, was it by virtue of your own massive efforts or did she take over and make it a slam dunk for you If the effort flopped, was it because of a single major mistake or due to the weight of numerous little things that piled up and crushed the life out of things Always do a postmortem and learn from your mistakes, or from your successes. The feedback is important. You can't just step out onto the playing field and hit homer after homer without a lot of practice and concentrated effort. Willingness and determination you know, all that good stuff.
He smiled, and said not a single word, and instead kissed her lips softly. She closed her eyes and took in the moment (take in a breath, then let it out slowly with a slight moan). At last, she had found the man who would make her feel alive again. The man pulled back to look into her eyes, and whispered softly, What can I do, what can I say, to make you mine, if but only for a night She thought about what it was she wanted, and asked herself, What do you want deep down inside of you What is missing from your life right now that you want from this man And with only a smile, she took his hand, and lead him out of the market.
Think about this process as finding a good job you need to prepare a quality CV, do your homework and find out about the company you are applying to, adapt your CV to the needs of this company and position you are applying for, and present yourself well at the interview. If you skip or fail one of those steps, you are out. So do everything to the best of your ability. For finding a wife will have a much bigger impact on your life than finding a job.
Your second date may seem either more intense or more subdued than it actually is. There's simply no substitution for time when it comes to really knowing someone and understanding how he or she will (or won't) fit into your life. Don't short-circuit the time you really need to tap how you really feel.
No, gentlemen, the disgrace of men is in not embracing your true nature following your passion and, thus, loving life. Women are to enhance your life, not to be your life. So to the Nice Guy, stop placing your happiness on getting a girlfriend. To the Jerk, quit wasting your life on seduction. Don't SPEND your time chasing girls, INVEST it by putting it into your interests and desires, thus the whole of your life.
Particularly if you're over 30, avoid what I call the Blitz School of Dating. That's when you've been there, done that, and you don't want to waste any time. You want to book a table in a quiet restaurant where the waiter won't bother you for the two hours you take to chronologically pour out your life story, hear your date's, and determine if this union has legs. While the Blitz approach has been known to work on occasion, I don't recommend it. Part of the mystery and magic of getting to know someone is getting to know someone, not hearing how well they know themselves. Finally, resist the temptation to ask yourself the 64,000 question Is this the one Is this second date with the person with whom you'll spend the rest of your life Have babies with Rock on the porch with Watch go gray While the urge may be there to weigh every second date on the forever scale, don't give in to it. Distract yourself. It's too soon. A relationship hasn't even taken flight yet.
We've all heard about being cocky and funny, or confident and funny, or variations thereof. This technique uses a self-confident posture, along with humor, to disarm a woman's natural defenses so you can meet more women. If you meet more women, you get more experience, you get more confidence, you get laid more, and more options open up to you. If you date only a few women, you tend to cling on to each as if she was your life preserver - your only chance for sex.
I am a very big proponent of the pain pleasure theory of motivation. We've hit on this in different ways in the last few sections on emotion, and you may wonder why I'm covering it here again. I am going to go into the detail that you need to understand to leverage this motivation for real change in your life. To get to where you need to be as an Alpha Man, you have to understand how these forces drive you in your life. I will relate it specifically to your quest to be a dominant Alpha Man.
O B The pain you felt when you thought about sitting home all alone for the rest of your life, beating off to the same old porn movie, letting other men take the women you deserve to have. If you feel that option A is more painful, you'll probably never do what it takes to meet more women and get more pussy in your life. If you feel B is more painful, you need to keep remembering that pain every time you're faced with the chance to meet a woman and you feel you might weasel out of talking to her. In fact, all you have to do to motivate yourself to action is have a ready-made mental image of the pain you will feel if you don't do it, and then summon it up on command. Imagine it with all the gory details, so that you convince yourself to finally do something. Imagine that pain, and then turn up all the factors that make it intense for you. Now that's motivating
Its a totally different experience, its like you feel almost magnetically drawn to this person, you know what I mean And sometimes I think a person wouldn't even know that that's what's taking place until afterwards. And you look back on it as one of those amazing memories you treasure cherish for the rest of your life now with me as I think long and hard about it I think that's the process of discovering that a person is being drawn to another person.
Finding out as much as you can about the woman in your life is essential. Simply learning what you can about women in general isn't enough. After all, just like you men, all women are different. There are some things that most women or most men look for or want, but each of us are unique. Learning what your woman wants as an individual will allow you to seduce her the way she wants.
So by using vision to get her to go on an errand with you, you've learned how to bring her into your life in a way that adds to your lifestyle-and gains her respect You're also giving her a sense of importance in your life and in the lives of others, which is very attractive to most healthy people.
Have you ever looked at somebody (sp) and seen her in a completely new light Maybe even someone, who you never thought you could even like (sp, if you don't know her very well or she exhibits signs of indifference for you, otherwise point away from yourself), or maybe it was just a friend or acquaintance of yours (sp, if this is the case), but for some inexplicable reason you start finding him attractive. You start to think, how much fun it would be for the two or you to be together. You imagine yourself with him (sp) having the time of your life. And slowly you start to forget, what you used to think about this person before and just let go with all these new and fantastic feelings you're experiencing.
Then in five years I want all the chicks to be wanting me It doesn't have to be five years. It could be two months. And you can't place your success on OTHER people. You can say that you want to gain lose weight, get your life together, get that job you've been wanting, become more social, whatever. You CANNOT say, I'm going to have a girlfriend in X amount of time. That depends on someone else. Rather, say, I'm going to get in the ROUTINE of talking to chicks, asking them out, and being more social. The goal then becomes a prophecy.
Second, you want to create an aura around you, and this aura is of a man who knows how to handle women. By practicing all the time, you start a chain of events in your life. Some women will appear and lead you to others. Others will be friends of friends of friends. Also, when you can bring a seduction target to a favorite bar and the staff knows you and you can pal with them, this goes a long way to proving your social validation. If others know you, you must be all right. This is linked directly to the social proof principle I highlighted early on.
Feeling this way is a choice you've decided to make about how you imagine women see you, and not an actual reality. You've chosen to believe that women don't like you by default and that you are burdened with having to prove otherwise. I'm telling you that the key to having the proper, powerful male attitude all stems from having just the opposite belief, and that possessing this belief is also just a simple matter of choice on your part. In reality, either one of these beliefs is groundless outside of your own cognitive universe. What do I mean Whether you wish to believe that women like you or they don't, this choice is strictly arbitrary. There is no basis of truth in the real world to support either belief about yourself -- although I'm sure that during the course of your life you've gone through massive mental gymnastics to convince yourself that there is -especially if the believe happens to be a negative one. We love to reinforce the negative stuff because it feeds our shame.
And remember that the kind of woman who demands command and control of you is not one that you can forge a reliable relationship with. Go ahead and try. I've seen men end up miserable and beaten down from trying, and that's not where you want to live out the rest of your life. These are the guys commonly referred to as pussy whipped. And if you've ever seen one of these couples, neither one of them is happy at the situation they're in.
Have a pity party and get it out of your system so that you can escape the gooey quagmire of self-indulgence and get a perspective and get on with your life. If you find your party going on for more than two days, or you can't stop crying or obsessing, it's time to get some help. Phone companies offer a caller ID feature, which tells you who's calling and documents who and when and how often someone calls. Harassment is illegal as well as irritating, and who wants to end up in jail where you aren't allowed to call anyone without permission Letting go is almost as hard as breaking up, but it's necessary, and police involvement isn't going to make your life easier or more pleasant.
At the appropriate place and time, SHOW YOUR ANGER Guys who never get mad, who never show that they will stand up for themselves and make a woman feel a bit of unpleasantness are, in effect, giving themselves away for free Let the females in your life know that if they break your rules, cross you, or show any lack of respect that THEY ARE GOING TO PAY A PRICE Finally on this topic, you should take steps to totally eliminate from your life anyone in any capacity who will not pay your price, after you have clearly informed them what that price may be, and most especially if they have explicitly agreed to pay it. As I have long said, confidence works two ways both in going for what you do want and moving away from what you don't. If you don't eliminate those who won't pay the price, then you will be undercutting your confidence when you want to move towards what you want, because your behaviour is not 100 congruent with your belief that you are a person of value who is deserving of the...
Ross Jeffries You see, after years of experience and study, I've come to the conclusion that a woman can only experience real passion for if on some level she believes she could do something to lose you Understand that when you show this willingness to walk away, in any area of your life, it conveys the message that you are the prize to be pursued, that you are the person of value, and they had better take advantage of the opportunity. This is an attitude that will move you forward in any area that's challenging you. By way of contrast, if you show a non-stop, forever and ever devotion to her, and put up with her crap and ambivalence, then where is that tension of knowing she could lose you Answer nowhere And that's why you get nowhere when you put up with this kind of stuff If you've seen an initially hot relationship grow ice-cold, this is one big reason
If you can, WRITE DOWN exactly what you think the word ATTRACTION means. The process of writing down your thoughts helps you to organize them (I recommend that you also keep a journal of your experiences as you improve in this area of your life). There are no right or wrong answers here, OK, now that you're heard a little bit more of my personal perspective, I'd like you to look back into your life and think about all those situations with women that made no sense at all It's harsh to think about, but it's true. (By the way, if you don't do something to learn how to make women feel ATTRACTION, then this is going to keep happening to you for the rest of your life, most likely.)
Again, this list is not intended to scare you into joining a monastic order. Certainly, a midnight stroll on the beach can blossom into one of the most memorable dates of your life, but a midnight stroll doesn't have to be a first date. Mom was right It is better to be safe than sorry. In the dating world, avoiding iffy situations in the first place is better than trying to figure out how to get out alive and intact. This is dating, not undercover work.
Did you ever notice how most couples seem to be getting into little tifts or downright nasty arguments much of the time You yourself, being socially withdrawn much of your life, might not have too much personal experience with this sort of thing -- but unless you're totally oblivious it's hard not to see how much of it is going on all around you. I'm sure you've got lots of stories about how each one of your friends who's in a relationship or is married takes his turn at being prospective buyer might be having with some aspect of his life, and then attempt to demonstrate how this product is the answer to making that pain disappear. That's why effective ad copy always concentrates on describing the benefits of owning the product in question, rather than simply describing interesting aspects of the product itself (the features). Our Nuclear Stink-Rat Annihilators are baited with 5 pounds of irresistibly delicious warthog guts is a feature of the Annihilator, which is nice but doesn't...
Make the program a part of your life until your new skills become the dominant reading skills. This could take a few weeks or a few months. IT DOES NOT MATTER What does matter is that you do not lose the most valuable skill you have ever developed, and that you develop this skill further until everything you do is easier and your performance in every area of learning has improved. Develop a plan to improve your vocabulary. Anything related to learning should become interesting to you. Show off your skills to yourself and to anyone else lucky enough to be around you.
A 'security' is an act or thought that makes you eliminate mistakes. It is one thing to foresee mistakes (after all, you can't just marry any girl), but it is disaster to life to deny them. You want misery in your life Keep sucking up 'securities' to mold and sculpt your life.
The challenge of course is that the woman who selects you with her flirtatious interest is often someone who is of no interest to you, at least romantically speaking. This is the age old quandary of the game of Love and Romance unrequited love offered by one person, unreturned by the other. I'm sure you've run up against this particular wall several times in your life, most probably beginning in grammar school. Finding that perfect someone is the great quest of our lives, and it is by no means an easy task. Just look at how many people fail at it look at the divorce rates, the broken families, the broken hearts. How many of your friends are just barely hanging on or suffering through with someone they've grown to dislike or even despise People bounce from one relationship to another all their lives trying to find that special someone who they can love and who without reserve will love them back just as powerfully.
There is no going back to the old you once you've made a profound discovery in your life. You can never hope to unlearn any enlightening insight and go back to your old way of thinking. And that's both good and bad -- because I'm afraid that some of you guys might be ready to go off the deep end on me. Why Simple My advice Try your damndest not to be petty. Make one of the aspects of your new character a determination to rise above the need to get even with anyone. (Or an entire gender for that matter ) I don't know what your life was like growing up maybe one of emotional deprivation, or perhaps over on the opposite end of the spectrum -- the life of the spoiled brat. You may expect that most of the toxic shame we talked about earlier would be found stewing within the poor slobs who grew up in deprived family conditions, but I think that the spoiled childhood might even be worse for some of you guys. Adolescents can't learn to become emotionally...
A study of this very situation was created in the US A goodlooking guy was tasked with approaching girls in the street
The overall message is to try new things and turn your search into an adventure. Have fun and try lots of things. Finding a partner should be fun and not a chore. Make it a part of your life and have an open mind. Who knows what will happen or who you will meet and where that or they may take you. It's exciting - you only get one life, so live it to the full and if you meet some-one special on the way that adds value to your already exciting life., then great.
Test time kids Sharpen your pencils and no more talking. Well, here's a little quiz that you can take to help you get a feel for just where you're probably scoring on that all important Male Dominance Scale that lurks within the minds of most of the eligible women out there (the cute ones who matter anyway). Answer the following 25 questions honestly in terms of how you think you would most likely react to the described situations -- not what you think would be the right answer. No one's going to see the results but you, so there's no reason to cheat -- unless of course you can't stand to know the truth about yourself. In that case, your station in life is pretty much destined to remain the same. You must face down your delusions in order to bring about any real change in your life, grasshopper. 22) How many people in your life (subordinates) do you have the power to
The answer is, they both provide an amazng energy within yourself. They are also both a source for calm within the chaos in your life. Having a mentor calms you though the hope that person brings. Hope that you can lean something, gain something, and accomplish something. Meditation calms you through focussng on something other than the problems and difficulties in your daily life. not worked out in your life, or what has gone wrong in your life. But I would hope by this stage of the book, you ' ve come to realize that there are no wrong things that happen in your life, j'ust things that were not what you expected or preferred. So when you find a mentor, someone with abilities character traits accomplishments that you would like to have, be smart enough to borrow and not try to become. Once you learn how they did what they did, do what they do, or why they believe what they believe, you can borrow that and find a way to make it wok in your life. Wok in ways that fit with who you are...
If you want to establish a relationship with two or more girls, the first consideration is your time. Trust me, it's time-consuming. Seeing every girl twice a week, and giving her 5-6 hours per meeting, your free time is going to entirely disappear Anyway, if you decide you want this, begin your relationship with the first girl so that you prepare the territory for the other girls that you will add into your life. That means establishing rules and boundaries in the relationship. For example how much you are going to see each other. If you see her every day, when will you have time for the others Now it's important that you don't discuss your rules verbally, because then she will argue. Let her realize the rules by your behavior. After you've slept together, don't see her too often. Every day is way too often, because once she gets used to seeing you everyday you will have problems cutting it back to a few times per week. No matter how much you like her, or love her, don't do it if you...
If I have to explain this to you, you need to put this book away for a couple of years. You must protect yourself and your partner not only from sexually transmitted diseases that can ruin or end your life but from unwanted pregnancy as well. Women have been worried about getting pregnant since the caves, but men should worry, too. The idea of having to support and care for a child for the rest of your life because you were feeling amorous one night and had too much to drink is a terrifying one. You get a woman pregnant, you're a father, ready or not. If you're not ready, then make sure you use a condom every time, period (and make sure you put it on and take it off right). Then when you and your beloved decide to have kids (and legalize your union for the kids' sake), you won't have to worry about any surprises knocking on your door someday and asking you to take a paternity test and attach your paycheck. Do you understand me Good
If you are just dating for fun, then no major questions are required as the impact on your life is limited to that date and that's all. If, however, your goal for the date is to discover if he she has the qualities you require for a long-term relationship, what questions are you going to generate for that What criteria does your potential date need to meet before you will agree to go out with him her You will have picked up some information whilst flirting together, but by making a call and chatting, this will generate some further answers to your questions. But what are the questions Write yourself a list that answers the following key questions. This will create a profile of what is important to you in a relationship situation. Remember, it's your list and your life, so spend some time on this and you will eradicate a lot of heartache in the long run.
Well, women check out guys in many ways. One thing, for sure, is that they try to see if a guy is single or not by what he puts in his shopping cart. If he has items like half a gallon of milk, microwavable meals, and in general, a small amount of stuff, women will assume he is a bachelor and perhaps make a move. Some women will psychoanalyze your life based on what you have in your shopping cart. (Some women, thinking men think like they do, will deliberately put things in their shopping cart to convey an impression, such as water bottles to
No matter how many girls you have (even if you only have one), they must always know they are replaceable. That helps minimize the power that society normally gives them in relationships and keeps the frame going that YOU are the prize. But the attitude alone that they are replaceable is not enough, because if they think that you are using them just for sex, they will disappear from your life. I also make sure they know they are SPECIAL special but replaceable. Remember that frame. Every girl, no matter how many you have, should know that she is special. That will make her stick around but at the same time if she knows you have the skills to replace her, she will work hard to please you and stay in your life. When a girl knows you can go out and get another girl in 45 minutes, she will buy you things, pamper you and keep you oversexed just to stop you from searching around for more. She wants a guy who controls her, and that the guy and his life are her source of happiness. If you...
Whether they believe me or not is irrelevant because they don't know me. All they do know is that they now have an alternative version of what their man is doing tonight and every night that he is not with her. After that sinks in, I talk about wasting time and wasting your life and passing up opportunities to do what you REALLY WANT TO DO just because of some bullshit you told someone one day, like I am only going to fuck you when they are out doing whatever they want. Then I bring up chicks that got cheated on and how stupid they felt when they were telling me about how they got played
In your future interactions keep this in the back of your mind Am I doing this to impress her or am I doing so in
If you are seeking dating advice, I can almost guarantee that you do not speak or behave with any degree of certainty in your life. (This is actually not a tough guess as it probably pertains to most people on the planet, but it's a common observation amongst men seeking dating advice.)
You might choose to go to your place with your date. I've already emphasized how important it is for you to have your life together. Your home is a reflection of that. If your place is a mess with Playboy magazines scattered all over it and you haven't washed the dishes in a
If you are not happy with yourself how can you expect anyone else to be Find out, through better questions, what you want. Make sure that you are happy with who you are and make sure that anyone who enters into your life is going to add value and not be a drain on your emotional resources. This way you will be giving yourself every opportunity to know that this person is right for you.
This is the one vague attribute from the list. It is a combination of a number of different issues, but in this brief summary I will list a few for you. It's having a strong sense of purpose and determination in whatever you do. It's being comfortable in your own skin regardless of the environment and having a frame of mind where you can live your life with the inner peace of not having to kiss anyone's ass or having to impress others. I know that's a lot of food for thought, but you can do it one step at a time. Remember the one word that creates a Strong Reality Certainty. (Covered throughout the entire book.)
One of the most exciting aspects of learning the art of relaxation is that you will be very positively affected in nearly every area of your life. You can draw upon this skill whenever you want to rest, sleep, or be involved in physical activities of any nature, especially in competition, tests in school, giving a talk or presentation, etc. As you use the Programmation Tape, you will learn the power of visualization, imagination and a positive attitude. These are most powerful tools for you to use in directing the development of your Rapid Reading habits.
The second weakness is much softer than the other one. The issue of money is very important, it will be a dominant issue in your life, probably even more so than women. How do people exploit those who have little to no financial footing Let us count the ways By big corporations promising you a career to 'climb the corporate ladder' for the rest of your life with '401k' retirements and all. What they do not say is that there is no job security today. And those GM Ford Airline ETC. workers who were promised pension retirements Their pension funds keep getting slashed, so they have to go back to work. Do you really think the 401 ks and mutual funds will be as secure 2) Keep open the OPTION of investing or making a business (You do not HAVE to. But we become stronger when we have more options, not less. If you feel yourself incapable of breaking out and starting a business or investment, you will be enslaved to employers for the rest of your life. Just keep the options open.)
But if she's good, and you find a dynamic that works, you may want to put the work in that it takes to keep it together, as long as that work doesn't mean sacrificing too much of your identity or self. You should never have to change drastically for any woman, nor should she have to change drastically for you. But a little change is good, as long as it makes you a better person along the way.
They will respect you for your honesty no matter what it is. Remember what has happened in your life has shaped the person you are today, so be proud of who you are and, remember, if they feel you are not right for them, for whatever reason, don't take it personally.
For example, a key element to this book is pragmatism, the idea of living in the real world and seeing things (women in particular) for what they really are, and dealing with things accordingly. It is sprinkled with wise advice like this that will help you improve your life in general, not just in the area of seduction and dating
Let's face it, if you're the kind of guy who's been taking care of your own business for most of your life (I wouldn't know anything about this myself, but I read all about it in a book somewhere once, I think.), then you've probably got the art of self-love down to a friggin' science by now I suspect that you probably practice your craft often and with great enthusiasm as well. This is all fine and dandy, but unfortunately, sex drive happens to be one of Nature's great motivators for getting the species to perpetuate itself. Without sex drive, men and women really wouldn't give much of a shit about each other. So as much as you hate to hear it, short-circuiting this urge through constant over-indulgence will eventually lead to some level of social awkwardness no matter how well you try to hide it.
It may be a telltale sign of how a man feels about you if he doesn't call you early in the week. The best way to encourage him to phone sooner is to turn him down when he calls on Thursday for Saturday night. Hopefully, he will get the hint. This is not a game. It is essential that men ask you out early in the week because, as a Rules woman, you simply can't put your life on hold until Thursday or Friday You have friends and lots of things to do. You need to know ahead of time if you're going to have a date Saturday night or go to the movies with the girls. When men are calling you as late as Thursday, you become a nervous wreck. You're frenetically checking your answering machine, or if you live at home, you're constantly asking your mother if he called. Basically, you're living on the edge. Rules girls don't live on the edge. They have plans.
Here's what P J Chandler, author of 'Beyond Positive Thinking', says about rapport The true purpose of creating rapport is not to manipulate or coerce, but to enable you to tell your truth in a way that is meaningful to others, and to enable them to tell their truth in a way that is meaningful to you.
Dominant males have characteristics which are easily identifiable to women everywhere they are confident first and foremost, have a likable quality about them, listen well and focus on the woman totally and completely while she's talking. The ability to pay attention to others without fretting or seeming self-conscious demonstrates that you have you shit together. You are not imprisoned by anxieties due to the fact that your life situation is out of control, or that you're desperate for someone to listen to your problems. Other qualities flow from your magnanimous nature integrity, strength of character, genuineness and compassion. All this adds up to a sexy package. Give the guy a 7 or an 8
Let's look at No. 1 again A Man knows how to lead, and he is confident in his role. You know how hard it is to be the captain of a ship You are constantly forced to make decisions and take responsibilities. A slight sign of uncertainty is enough for you to lose the faith of your whole crew and probably the ship as well. How could 40 people follow their captain if he showed signs of hesitation and uncertainty If you were in the crew, would you risk your life for such a captain Not likely. Would you do it for a confident and resolute one who is always certain, even if he makes mistakes at times Yes.
Practically speaking she will behave with you as though she has the right to feel all the emotions she wants and has the right to discharge them on you, without the slightest worry as to how this will affect you and your life. Many women, though not all, will also behave with you as though they have the right to do anything to you, without the slightest worry as to how this will affect you and your life.
Awkward pauses are your worst enemy. As soon as I feel a conversation is about to fizzle out, especially with someone new, I either start up a new topic or simply excuse myself to talk to someone else. First impressions are important, but last impressions even more so Never complain about your life and stay POSITIVE Don't ask too many questions, it's OK to find out where she lives, how old she is, etc. but try to get her to ask all the questions and never answer them directly. Keep in mind though, conversation and people are so unpredictable, some of these rules will need to be broken from time to time I once met this girl who would not answer any of my questions but kept asking me alot about myself, so for the sake of trying something different, I let her quiz me. I broke my own rule by opening up to her because it felt natural and she responded well. We ended up messing around and I totally could have hit that, but she turned out a lousy kisser and I...
Strategies, build up their character through use of the Three S's, and as soon as they land a girlfriend, they turn into complete wimps. Until the end of your days with a woman, you must uphold the principles of the Three S's - Self-confidence, Self-discipline, and Sense of humor. These are not optional lures you use just to get a woman to sleep with you or to want to be your girlfriend or wife. They are not electives you can use when you feel you need to. These are time-tested enduring qualities of character for a man. You will have to be a challenge to the woman in your life for the rest of your days, or she will gradually lose interest in you. You see this all the time in marriages where the couple gets lazy and feels they can now be themselves. What this really means is that they let a relationship become their cushion for their self-esteem. They cease being two independent, confident people and become an indistinguishable unit. There's a difference between growing together and...
Although just about any obstacle will create this sexual tension, some obstacles can create more problems than they are worth. For example, infidelity can be tempting because of all the taboos and other obstacles involved, but it can also screw up your life. That's why the right type of humor is crucial, for it is harmless, yet immensely powerful in creating the perfect sexual tension.