Making the Call

When you do finally make the call, and you have her on the line, what are you going to say? What are your goals of this phone call? It doesn't take much time to make a few notes to your-self before hand. Write down what you want to say to her before you call her. It helps to have a guideline for your conversation, especially if you get flustered and aren't sure what to say next. You should already have an idea for a date before you call. Allow room for compromise but always have a good suggestion to start from.

When you decide to pick up the phone to call a woman, you want to make sure that you won't be distracted. You want to be able to give her your undivided attention. Make sure the TV, roommates, or other background commotion won't distract you. Go into a private room and then dial her number. When she answers, make sure the first thing you do is say who you are. Don't expect a woman to recognize your voice right away. Say your name, then don't hesitate to remind her where you met. Once you are beyond introductions, make sure that you aren't interrupting her. You already know that she wants to talk to you, because she gave you her number, so make sure that it is a good time for her. You don't want to call during her favorite television program, or while she's eating dinner, and have her feeling rushed to get off the phone. You want her to be relaxed so you can have a nice, casual conversation.

Once you re-establish your connection, and make small talk, you want to stick to your goals of this phone call. You need to ask her out on a date. When you ask her, be direct and enthusiastic. The best way to ask out a woman is to suggest an activity. Don't get her to commit to a time just yet - you want to see if she is okay with the idea first. Suggest going for a hike, or for coffee, and ask her when she would like to meet to do this. You don't want to be overbearing or bossy. Give the woman some control so she will have a better feeling about going out with you. Ask her how she would feel about meeting for coffee, or ask her if she would be interested in checking out a new restaurant in town for lunch on the weekend.

Once she accepts your invitation, the two of you can work out a mutual time to meet. Don't be offended if it's not right away. Remember that this woman has her own life, and she may be very busy. Once you agree when you will go out, be sure to figure out when and where you will meet. If you agree to pick her up, you should always phone before you leave to make sure you know where she lives. If you plan to meet somewhere, it doesn't hurt to call earlier that day to confirm the place and time. This will show her that you are looking forward to your date and that you will be there on time.

By this point, your conversational goals should be attained. You have talked to her, you have got her thinking about you, and you have got a commitment for a date. This is the time to wrap up the phone call; you don't want to drag out this first conversation. Save the getting-to-know-each-other talk for when you are together. Maintain control of the situation and let her know you have to get going, but that you are really looking forward to your date.

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