Connecting to Social Proof

OK, but what good does it do you if you know all this stuff in your head, but attractive women don't feel attracted to you because you don't perfectly fit the "socially accepted model of what's attractive"?

Well, the FIRST thing you can do is avoid the things that are the NEGATIVES.

Work to present a clean appearance, having good breath, no body odor, and a healthy weight. In other words, make sure you don't get DISQUALIFIED because of something you CAN change.

But to make yourself wanted, you have to either trigger her attraction for you or connect to something she values.

Since she values other people's opinions, if other people value you highly, she will too.

Put simply, a woman will want you more if other women want you or if you've been with exceptional women. By wanting you, other women give you that social proof. This raises your value to her.

Now, you can't expect to have the same social proof a celebrity does, but it still works powerfully anyway.

This idea is especially effective if there are women who want you who she perceives to be more attractive than her. Since looks are the value women are rated on the most, hot girls carry a lot of social approval. Being wanted by one says good things about a guy's value. The less good-looking girl wants to feel she's at the same level as the hot babe, so she'll be very attracted to the guy that they both want.

Some guys avoid talking about any other women in their lives, romantic or not, because they're afraid of giving a girl the wrong impression. If they do mention another woman, they're often sure to make clear that it's just a platonic friendship.


You can mention an interesting fact about one of your female friends that's relevant to the conversation, but just don't go on and on for hours or bring it up all the time. It backfires if it seems like you're trying too hard or that she's not at all important compared to them.

This can be great with little things like having a friend whose homemade cheesecake is better than hers. You can make a funny comment that challenges her abilities, enhances your value by showing the approval of others, and also gives her a potential competitor for your attention to consider.

Relationships can still carry approval value even if they're in the past. The fact that an exceptional woman was involved with you means you were good enough to attract her and gives you a lot of approval. You fill subsequent women's existing wants for approval more strongly, so you become more wanted and more attractive.


A lot of guys usually talk negatively about past girlfriends.

The worse you make your ex-girlfriends look, the lower you reveal your standards are, and the worse you make yourself look. Since the better your past girlfriends were the better you seem, you'll be more attractive the more positively you talk about them.

Sometimes even talking about bad break-ups can be a sign of flaws on your part. Relationships are all about the saying, "It Takes Two to Tango", and women know you probably caused your share of the problem. Even if you successfully blamed it all on your ex, you have put yourself down too.

FOCUS on the positive parts of your past girlfriends, not the negative ones. Some guys think that they need to give a good enough reason for not still being with their exes so they put the exes down to explain what went wrong. It's much better to have high standards of comparison between your exes and a current woman because then she feels that your interest shows she meets those high standards.

That they value social proof means women's attraction can be increased by increasing the attention, attraction, and social proof they know you get from other women. To fully maximize attraction, or making someone want something, you also need to learn restraint.

Continue reading here: How Do You Make Someone Want Something

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