Raise Your Awareness

Pay attention when you are at a party. Lots of people always gather in the kitchen. Look around. Notice if anyone is mirroring another person's body language. They may be interested in each other, then again, they could simply be in the same emotional state. Look for other signals to confirm or deny the interest you suspect. At the same time, consciously adopt the body language of the person you'd like to meet and talk with. FIRST CONVERSATION SIGNALS

Men, pay attention to all the ways she communicates during the first few minutes as you talk with her. Women, let him know what you want.

Nearly all of these signals apply to both men and women. The ones that apply only to women are indicated by italics.


Tense, restless Normal or small pupils Posture remains closed Keeps drink high Grips or pinches self Squeezes, taps objects Legs remain crossed Back of hand gestures Swings crossed legs Keeps shoe on Touches face Never touches you Feet on edges or toes Tightens anything Leans away Tapping, drumming


Ready for action with you. Contrast with relaxed, casual postures when sitting or standing. Especially positive and revealing when the person shifts from


Alert, energetic Pupils dilated Gradually opens posture Lowers drink Touches self gently Caresses objects Crosses and uncrosses legs Flashes ofpalm Crossed legs steady Dangles shoe on toe Hands never touch face Touches you any reason Feet firmly on floor Loosens anything Leans forward Steady hands, feet casual to alert during the conversation. GRADUALLY OPENS POSTURE

In social settings, most of us start out in a closed, defensive posture because we're a bit apprehensive. A closed posture feels safe. When the person you are talking with shifts to a more open posture, it signifies trust and comfort. That person is, literally, opening up to you and what you have to offer. LOWERS DRINK

Most people in social settings hold a drink in front of themselves as a barrier. When the person you are talking with lowers his, or her, drink, the barrier between you is coming down. As always, it is most effective if you lower your drink first. The other person often follows your lead. CARESSES OBJECTS

If done sensually, it usually means the person wants to caress you or wants you to caress them.

CARESSING A GLASS The most common object fondled is a drink. Women tend to stroke the glass up and down. Men usually run a finger around the lip. The symbolism is obvious.

Caution! Occasionally, when a woman touches something sensitively, it can be a subtle signal for reassurance. Subconsciously, she may want you to gently reassure her. You may be too close physically or you're talking about a topic that makes her anxious. Move back and change the subject if you read this gesture as nervousness.

Continue reading here: Touches Herself

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