With palms facing, the person's fingertips become the top of a church steeple. From there, he, or she, pontificates. Readily seen on talk shows as the guest enlightens us all. Low Steepling and disguised steepling are similar but usually indicate confidence rather than superiority. LOOKING DOWN ONES NOSE

Proclaims, / am above you,. Commonly adopted by insecure bosses. Also prevalent among full-of-him-self types who have developed large but false egos in a futile attempt at having some self-esteem. NOSE IN THE AIR

Insinuates, Somebody around here stinks and it's not me. Also, as with looking down one's nose, proclaims, I am above you. Common among insecure blue bloods and wannabe blue bloods. HANDS BEHIND BACK

The person (king) is so confident that no one would dare harm, him that he stands and walks in a blatantly vulnerable manner. British Bobbies often adopt this posture, as do corporate types who see themselves as royalty.

DISGUISED HIGH STEEPLING means the person ' is confident but arrogant. He knows more than the people he's talking with. In this photo, the person is also touching his mouth. That means he is also preventing himself from saying something. The sentence he's not saying is, "Youpoor things. You know absolutely nothing."

HIGH STEEPLING combined with looking down one's nose. Disgusting but revealing. It means he has a holier-than-thou attitude. It's a posture often assumed by corporate royalty and politicians who consider themselves the equal of Popes and Kings or Queens.

MODERATE HIGH STEEPLING Means she's certain that she knows what she's talking about or, if listening, confident she knows more than the speaker. High steepling also puts barrier between the person and the audience to whom he, or she is preaching.

LOW STEEPLING Means he is confident that he knows what he's talking about. When compared with all the other forms of steepling, it's only mildly offensive.

TOUCHING YOUR PROPERTY Attempts to intimidate and communicate without words, I am so superior to you that I can take your property. I do not have to show you any respect. Even if it is your desk, when he puts his hand or foot on it, the desk becomes his possession, literally. HANDS BEHIND HEAD OR NECK Attempts to intimidate by communicating, "I am so superior to you that I can be lackadaisical toward you. I don't have to show you any respect." PEERING OVER ONE'S GLASSES Taking a second look to imply, "You can't possibly mean that, fool!" Attempts to intimidate without words.

EXAMINES CUTICLES During conversation, the arrogant person inspects his cuticles or finger tips instead of making eye contact with the other person. Usually done while listening. Implies, "My finger nails are far more important than paying attention to you. "

ARMS CROSSED ON CHEST The arrogant person says, in effect, "I am so superior to you that I am completely closed to you and your ideas. Say anything you want. Iam not going to listen. "


Explain anything like it's simple and only a matter of looking it up. You just happen to know this because you read about it or do it for a living or whatever. She, or he, could have known it, too.

Tactfully done, talking about something she's asked about or wants to learn about is dynamite. It clearly shows how much better off she'd be dating you. The way you want her to come away from a conversation is "Gee, he's the kinda guy I'd lite go out with, learn how to scuba dive." As opposed to, "Wow! is he smart." OVERALL ADVICE

Men, the most dangerous enemy you face is from within. Your lack of confidence; your too confident, too aggressive manner; or your lack of aggression.

These are tough to overcome, even with practice, so the best general strategy is to be unpredictable, swinging between being nice and being indifferent. It keeps her off balance and enables you to maintain an effective perspective on the relationship. Without the right viewpoint, you are liable to be wrapped around her finger in a couple of days.

I must stress this once again. With women of any age, when you're obvious or up front about wanting to go out with her, there's no longer a challenge or the excitement of not knowing if you'll make a move or not. So, when she's certain about your interest, she convinces herself the outcome is so obvious she doesn't have to take a chance and make even a safe date, like just having coffee. It's not Rapo, but the result is the same.

Pay attention to the signals she's sending you. You'll know what's going on most of the time. But, if it feels like she's coming on to you, even when there's nothing concrete you can point to as evidence, she is. That's what courtship is all about.

When talking and interacting with her don't make sexual comments. Don't talk about how great you are. Let manners and etiquette show. Don't try to impress her. All other guys try that. She often deciphers the attempt as, "He wants me. I've got him."

At the same time, let her see you have attributes and knowledge she'll benefit from in the near future. When it fits, always mention some of the things you like to do that are different from most men—attend plays, go the thoroughbred races or drive to Beverly Hills for Sunday brunch at an elegant restaurant.

Once more, Don't with a capital D, say or do any of these things to impress her. If she even slightly suspects you're trying, it ruins everything because it makes her think she's already got you. BUTTERFLY BOYS GET SWATTED

A butterfly flits from flower to flower drinking the nectar. The guy who hits on one woman and then another soon gets shot down.

Bide your time. Evaluate all the data coming at you. Do NOT go talk to the first or even the second woman who smiles at you. Smile and nod. Make a mental note. Keep your smile friendly and noncommittal. Circulate. Send out your signals. Notice the signals women are sending you.

Mo' betta go easy, mo' betta go slow.


The woman who sees herself as your second choice is not interested. She wants to be number one, just as we all do. Nobody wants to be second fiddle.


During courtship, and later when you're dating, she must know with her entire being, that you will walk away forever if she insists on behaving badly. Your firm commitment to this act of self-respect cannot be faked. It must be genuine, heartfelt and be an integral part of your overall personality.

Body Language Anecdote From the World Of Office Politics I was a quick-learning 32 when I made it to the top floor of the corporation. The guys up here were battle-hardened veterans. They had prevailed in the never-ending struggle for position, prestige and power that dominates corporate life. The name of the game was, and is, Intimidate To Dominate. The only rule was, There Are No Rules.

Harvey Brush, Senior Executive Vice President, was sent to LA from corporate headquarters to "straighten out that bleeping mess." On Harvey's second day, as I was sitting in my boss' office reviewing the problems with our billion dollar proposal effort. Harvey barged in, put his size 14 wing-tip on the edge of Mauris polished ebony desk, grunted as he bent over to tie his shoe he let fly an outrageously loud fart. He smirked, looked right at Maury and said, "Somebody stepped on a frog, har, har, har!"

I was stunned into immobility. My boss managed a small smile as he waited quietly to be addressed.

Without removing his foot, "How's it goin' on the proposal guys? We really need that that bastard!" Harvey bellowed as he looked from my boss to me and back.

I don't remember what Maury or I managed to mumble. But I still remember that there was no doubt in anyone's mind who was in charge. And, there was no doubt in my mind that the proposal would be the best one I had ever managed. FINAL WARNING

Some women are blatant in their come ons. There is no mistaking what's happening. Be suspicious if she's relaxed and smooth. Even when it seems like she's really inviting you to make your move, it may be nothing more than bait so she can rebuff your proposition and win the little game of Rapo she's plaving.

if you're talking about a subject that is inappropriate, persuasion becomes impossible. What To Talk About, the next chapter, keeps you on track.

Continue reading here: What To Talk About

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