An inherent Internet temptation Longdistance relationships

A lot of people are meeting up online with people who live very far away. I'm not a fan of longdistance relationships because they are more fantasy than reality. In a long-distance relationship, you spend so much more time anticipating being together than you actually spend being together. If you're not careful, you'll end up only having sex when you're together rather than actually slowly, carefully, and organically getting to know each other, which will result in increased longing for one...

When to say I love you and when to keep quiet

Few things are more memorable than the magical, angst-ridden, fingers-crossed, breath-held, passion-filled moment when either you or your date says, I love you. The phrase is much more than three little words. It's also a silent question. As in, Do you love me, too Properly managing this moment can spell the difference between euphoria and humiliation. Tips i Wait at least several months, a minimum of three but preferably longer, before confessing your true love even if you feel it on the first...

Fish or Cut Bait Relationship Evaluation

There comes a time in any dating situation where you have to decide whether to go to the next stage or the next relationship. Going to the next relationship is exciting and can re-create the fun early days of getting to know someone. But if you're not careful, you may find yourself doing only dessert and never the meal, because in dating the dessert part comes first. If you're looking exclusively for excitement, it always makes sense to move on. If you're looking for intimacy and even...

Dont sweat it

You know, the thing that really separates men from women. Men love the Three Stooges women just don't get it. A few weeks ago I was loading my sweaty 'tards into a laundry bag at the gym when a cute fella walked by and started to chat with me. I cautioned him that he was standing dangerously close to the rather ripe scent of my exercise gear. He got a dreamy look on his face and said, Yeah, smells like sweat, baby, baby. Like I said, a difference between men and...

Sidestepping emotional pitfalls

It's certainly okay and appropriate to ask yourself whether you can live with your decision over time. But be aware of the emotional seductions that are part and parcel of this experience they go directly for the gut or the jugular and completely ignore that grown-up, smart part of you. Music is as old as human history and is part of each of our personal histories. Lullabies your mom sang you the first time you heard the Star Spangled Banner or Yesterday or Heaven Help Us or Feelings singing...

Small talk

Small talk has gotten a bum rap (excuse the pun). Mistakenly linked with air-headedness, the assumption is that those who engage in small talk only chitchat about life's piddling moments without a concern for the deeper, burning issues underneath. Poppycock. Small talk is a necessary and important part of our social fabric. It's a way to adjust to one another, get comfortable, and find your conversational seat. Without small talk, we'd all be walking up to acquaintances and saying, Hi. How...

Keeping a Dating Notebook

Throughout this book, I include exercises you can do to find out more about yourself and what you want, as well as suggestions for noting your feelings and impressions. Treat this as both an opportunity and a project to find out more about yourself. Buy yourself a spiral notebook and a pen and write down specifics. (Be sure to write in ink because it's useful to go back and see what you were saying as opposed to erasing it, if you didn't like it, because your musings can be a work in progress,...

Pre Date Affirmations Sweet Talking to Self

An affirmation is a positive statement about yourself made in the present tense. A few kind words to yourself can calm you instantly, as well as quell any surges of anxiety you may feel as lift-off draws near. Repeat after me I'm a fun, interesting, worthy person. I deserve success and happiness. A date is only a date it's not do-or-die time. I'm calm and fearless. I will enjoy myself tonight, and my date will, too. You're now internally and (if you've read Chapter 11) externally ready to have...