Substance abuse

If you're in a relationship with someone who has a drug problem, whether the drug is alcohol or cocaine or marijuana or prescriptions or crack or any of the other ways people have invented to make themselves temporarily happy and truly miserable for the long term, you need to think about bailing. Getting clean and sober is hard work and doesn't leave any time for anything other than that task.

If you're the person with the problem, do yourself a favor and get yourself straight before you inflict yourself on someone else. Your partner can't love you if you're high, and you won't even know who the real person is.

If you love someone with a drug problem, you don't really know the person and you can't trust him or her. You don't have to hate them, but you do have to leave until he or she straightens out.

If someone's drowning and you don't know how to swim, don't go in after the person. You'll both perish, and if someone comes along to help, the rescuer will have to choose which of you to save. Save yourself, and let your partner do the same.

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