The secret to sex appeal

Think of the sexiest person you know. My guess is that if you take the person apart feature by feature, they may not be as good-looking as others you know with more perfect features but less élan (a cool French word for confidence, style, and poise). In any country but ours, people think of older women as incredibly sexy because they've come into their own and accepted themselves.

Sex appeal is confidence, the ability not to ask anything of another but a willingness to offer yourself. What can be sexier?

You're ready to date if

^ You've got a stable place to live and a way to make a living.

^ You have a reasonably good working relationship with your parents (okay, so long as you're not at war; a cease fire is good enough).

^ You have a friend or two hanging about.

^ You know how to make yourself reasonably happy.

^ You'd really like some tension and aggravation and excitement and fun and worry and uncertainty in your life.

If you can answer yes to the preceding conditions, well, bunkie, sounds like you're ready. If you haven't passed muster in any of the preceding, it's time to work on your life and put off dating temporarily. If nothing else, having accomplished these things will give you a nearly giddy sense of confidence, and that's not only the name of this chapter, but the name of the game.

Continue reading here: False Confidence

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