Dating Secrets

Let Him Take the Lead

The man must take the lead or you fall over your feet. He should be the first one to say I love you, I miss you, I've told my parents so much about you. They can't wait to meet you. He should be an open book, you should be a mystery. Don't tell him he's the first person you've felt this way about in a long time or that you never thought you'd fall in love again. Remember, let him take the lead.

Be a Creature Unlike Any Other

.Z eing a creature unlike any other is a state of mind. You don't have to be rich, beautiful, or exceptionally smart to feel this way about yourself. And you don't have to be born with this feeling either. It can be learned, practiced, and mastered, like all the other rules in this book. Being a creature unlike any other is really an attitude a sense of confidence and radiance that permeates your being from head to toe. It's the way you smile (you light up the room), pause in between sentences...

What Are The Rules

H ow many times have you heard someone say, She's nic she's pretty, she's smart. . . why isn't she married Were they talking about you, perhaps Ever wonder why women who are not so pretty or smart attract men almost effortlessly Frankly, many women we know find it easier to relocate to another state, switch careers, or run a marathon than get the right man to marry them If this sounds like you, then you need The Rules What are The Rules They are a simple way of acting around men that can help...

Practice Practice Practice or Get tig Good at The Rules

H owdoe s one get good at The Rules Unfortunately, the same way one gets good at playing the piano or tennis or anything else. Practice practice and more practice Once you're truly convinced you need Die Rules, you should read this book over and over again until you've practically memorized it, then practice the principles as much as possible. Don't expect to get them right the first time or every time. We didn't. We broke rules, got hurt and then eventually got serious and did The Rules as...

Last But Not Least 12 Extra Hints

When he asks you out silently count to five before saying yes. It will make him nervous and that's good 2. Don't call him even when you feel mean about not calling him. If he loves you, he'll call anyway. When he asks you to call him, call him once. Do the absolute 3. When he asks you out for ice cream, a drink, or to a football game when you wish you were going out for a fancy dinner, say Sure Remember, you're hard to get but easy to be with You'll go to an expensive 4. When walking down...

Do The Rules Even when Your Friends and Parents Think Its Nuts

.Remember your reaction when you first heard about The Rules or read this book No doubt you thought the idea was crazy, dishonest or extreme. Why can't love be more natural Why can't I ask a man out After all, we're approaching the 21st century. But because your way didn't work, you became open-minded rather quickly. Something deep down inside you said The Rules just might be the answer. Well, don't be surprised if the people around you don't support your new philosophy. Don't be surprised if...

Don't Open Up Too Fast

There are many ways to kill a relationship. Getting heavy and examining everything is certainly one of them. Conditioned by therapy and self-help books to tell all, women tend to overdo it on first dates, bringing up past relationships, their hurts and fears, their alcohol or drug problem all in an attempt to bond with this new man. This is deadly and boring. Be intelligent but light, interesting yet mysterious. That's why we have suggested not opening up too fast. (See...

Be Honest but Mysterious

Fifty years ago it was easier to be mysterious with men. Women lived at home and their mothers answered the phone and never told the men who else called their daughters. Dates didn't see women's bedrooms so soon. Today, men pick up women at their apartments, see their lingerie in the bathroom, their romance novels in the living room, and hear their phone messages.

Don't Live with a Man or Leave Your Things in His Apartment

Contrary to popular belief, living together is not a trial period for him to see how he feels about you. He either loves you or he doesn't; and playing house and cooking him a lot of breakfasts won't change a thing. In fact; sometimes the best way for him to see how he feels about you is to not see you at all. You may have to dump him if he can't commit.

Don't Expect a Man to Change or Try to Change

Let's say you have met the man of your dreams almost. There are a couple of things you wish were different. What do you do Nothing Don't try to change him because men never really change. You should either accept certain flaws or find someone else. Of course it all depends on what it is about him that bothers you. If he is fanatically neat chronically tardy, hates Chinese food and disco dancing, or he won't part with his childhood baseball card collection.

Don't Tell Him What to Do

If your boyfriend wants to join the new in health club where all the leggy model types work out, don't tell him to jog on the street or exercise at home. Say, That's great and go about your business. Don't show that you are jealous or insecure. If he loves you, it won't matter how pretty the girls at the gym are. If he'd rather go camping with his friends on the we& ends than be with you, either let him or break up with him, but don't tell him what to do.

Dont Break The Rules

If you break The Rules, will he still marry you Women are always asking us this question. They do The Rules for a month or two and then stop. He still hasn't said I love you, much less proposed yet these women are now asking him out, bringing up marriage, and in some cases cleaning and decorating his apartment. They don't realize that The Rules way is not a hobby, but a religion. We keep doing The Rules until the ring is on our finger Let's take the case of our good friend, Candy. We told her...

But First the Product You

.Z efore The Rules can be applied for the best, most unbelievable results the man of your dreams asking you to marry him you have to be the best you can be. Certainly not perfect or gorgeous, but the best you can b so . . . Look your best The better you look, the better you will feel, and the more desirable you will become to him. Maybe other men will start finding you more attractive and asking you out. You will no longer feel that the man you're currently dating is the only man on earth....

How to Act on Dates 1 2 and

Ii you are anything like us, you've thought a lot about how much the two of you have in common before he even arrives to pick you up. And you've named the children before he says hello. This type of seemingly innocuous daydreaming before the date is dangerous, possibly the worst thing you can do short of professing love to him during dessert. This kind of fantasizing leads to unfulfilled longing and to unrealistic expectations of romance and passion that make you prone to say foolish things lik...

Be Smart and Other Rules for Dating in H i gh School

Ji. emember Janis Ian's song, I learned the rules at seventeen, that love was meant for beauty queens The fact is, unless you look like Brooke Shields, high school can be very rough. There's acne and not fitting into the in crowd, not to mention having to go to the prom with a group because you don't have a date. Our Rules for high school won't guarantee you a date for the prom, but they will bring out the very best in you and make you more attractive to the opposite sex. 1. If you have really...

Be Easy to Live With

The Rules are about playing hard to get. Once you've got him, it's about being easy to be with. Many things can go wrong in the first few months or year of marriage. You might have fights about where you'll live. There may be money problems or family problems. You thought you wouldn't have to work so hard, that you could work part-time and start planning for kids. He says he wants you to work full-time and have kids later. He thought you would make him home-cooked meals like his mother made his...

No More than Casual Kissing on the First Date

1t's common knowledge that men want as much as they can get on the first date. It's your job to slow them down. Let him kiss you on the first date, but nothing more. Keeping it to a kiss will force him not to think of you as just a physical object. If a Rules relationship is to develop, he must fall in love with your soul, your whole being, not just your body. So the less you do physically, the better. Beside it's easier to stop something if you don't let things get too hot and heavy right...

Even if Youre Engaged or Married You Still Need The Rules

Ideally, we do The Rules from the minute we meet a man until he says he loves us and proposes. But if you were not lucky enough to learn about The Rules before reading this book, we suggest you do the best you can right now. Better to do The Rules now However, if you did not know about The Rules until now, don't think you can totally erase the way you related to your fiance or husband from the beginning of your courtship. For example, if you initiated the relationship, called him up, asked him...

Dont Date a Married

Ating married (or unavailable) men is not only an obvious waste of time but also it's dishonest and stupid. So why do so many women do it Some feel it's better than dating no one some find the very wrongness and danger of it (the secret hotel rendezvous) fun and exciting, and some hang on to the hope that one day the men will leave their wives for them. All these women suffer from low self-esteem, or why would they settle for so little We are not big advocates of therapy, but we believe it...

Always End the Date First

If you have not been living by The Rules, then you probably didn't know that the first date or two should last no more than five hours. A good way to end the date is to nonchalantly glance at your watch and say something like Gosh, I really must be going now. I have such a busy day tomorrow. As we said before don't say what you're doing. It doesn't matter and it's none of his business. Ending the date first is not so easy when you really like him and want to marry him, and you're both having a...

Love Only Those Who Love

One of the greatest payoffs of doing The Rules is that you grow to love only those who love you. If you have been following the suggestions in this book, you have learned to take care of yourself. You're eating well and working out. You're busy with interests and hobbies and dating, and you're not calling or chasing men. You have high self-esteem because you are not sleeping around or having affairs with married men. You love with your head, not just your heart. You are honest you have...

Dont Stare at Men or Talk Too Much

.i ooking at someone first is a dead giveaway of interest. Let him look at you If he doesn't notice you first, he's probably not interested. Keep walking, someone else will Did you know that there are workshops designed to teach women how to make eye contact with men they find attractive Save your money. It is never necessary to make eye contact. What about letting men know you're receptive We suggest simply smiling at the room (or the universe, if you will), and looking relaxed and...

Slowly Involve Him in Your Family and Other Rules for Women with Children

If you are a divorced or single woman with children, you should follow all The Rules. In addition, be especially careful when dating not to go on about all the pain from your first marriage or talk too much about your children. When you meet a man at a dance or social situation, it isn't really necessary to mention your children at all. Let him take your phone number, then wait until he calls for you to gently weave it into the conversation. Don't say in a serious tone I need to tell you...

How to Act on Dates 4 through Commitment Time

The first three dates, you showed up and acted sweet. On the fourth date you can show more of yourself. You can talk about your feelings, as long as you don't get too heavy, or play therapist or mother. Exhibit warmth, charm, and heart. If his dog died or his baseball team lost, express sympathy. Look into his eyes, be attentive and a good listener so that he knows you are a caring human being a person who would make a supportive wife. Still, don't mention words like marriagp, wedding kids, or...

Take Care of Yourself and Other Rules for Dating in College

If you're going to college soon, we'd like to save you about four years of heartache. Here are seven mistakes not to make, now that The Rules are part of your 1. Don't look up his class schedule and follow him around campus hoping he will eventually notice you. It's great exercise otherwise don't bother. Either he noticed you or he didn't. 2. Don't hang out in the dining hall for all three dinner shifts hoping to spot him at some point between 4 30 P.M. and 8 00 P.M., and end up gaining the...

Meet a Rules Girl

Ii you had ever met Melanin you wouldn't have thought she was extraordinarily pretty or smart or special, but you might have noticed that she had a way of behaving around men that put prom queens to shame. Melanie did the best with what she had she wore makeup and clothes well, and acted elusive. Unlike other, prettier girls who ran after men or made themselves available every time a man called, Melanie acted indifferent sometimes aloof, sometimes nice, but always happy and busy. She didn't...

Next and Other Rules for Dealing with Rejection

Fortunately, The Rules will help ensure that you are never unnecessarily hurt by a man. By behaving around men in a Rules way independent and busy, not needy or aggressive we do not put ourselves in a position to be hurt. However, we cannot make a certain man like us or prevent a man from meeting someone else he likes better and consequently dropping us. And we can't stop an ex-girlfriend from winning him back. So what do we do when we get dumped Our natural reaction may be...

Dont Talk to a Man First and Dont Ask Him to Dance

Ever Not even Let's have coffee or Do you come here often Right, not even these seemingly harmless openers. Otherwise how will you know if he spotted you first was smitten by you and had to have you, or is just being polite We know what you're thinking. We know how extreme such a rule must sound, not to mention snobbish, silly, and painful but taken in the context of The Rules, it makes perfect sense. After all, the premise of The Rules is that we never make anything happen, that we trust in...