If you have not been living by The Rules, then you probably didn't know that the first date or two should last no more than five hours. A good way to end the date is to nonchalantly glance at your watch and say something like "Gosh, I really must be going now. I have such a busy day tomorrow." (As we said before don't say what you're doing. It doesn't matter and it's none of his business.)
Ending the date first is not so easy when you really like him and want to marry him, and you're both having a great time. But it must be done because you must leave him wanting more of you, not less. If he wants to know more about you as the date is ending, he can always call you the next day or ask you out again when he drops you off. It is our experience that men will want to see you a lot; sometimes every day in the beginning, and then grow very bored very quickly. So abide by The Rules and he'll
Not ending the date first is bad enough. What's worse, however, is prolonging the date once it should have been over. Randy felt that she was "losing" Bob at the end of their second date (dinner and movie), so she suggested that they go dancing. Bob didn't want to hurt her feelings so he said okay, then he never called again. Of course Randy should have ended the date right after the movie, but she thought she could excite Bob with her great disco dancing.
Other women try to prolong a first or second date, for example by inviting the man up to her apartment for a drink or coffee so that he'll fall in love with her decorating, or her home-brewed decaf. No! First of all, it should be the man trying to prolong the date, not you. He should be suggesting dancing, drinks, or a cafe where the two of you can get dessert and cappuccino. If he didn't suggest it; then it's not supposed to happen. Instead of worrying about making the date interesting or longer, just make sure you end it first.
Stop Dating Him if He Doesn't Buy You a Romantic Gift for Your Birthday or Valentine's Day kind of present can you expect to receive on your birthday when a man is in love with you? Ideally, jewelry, but any romantic gift will do. Now don't get us wrong. This is not a rule for gold diggers; it's just that when a man wants to marry you, he usually gives you jewelry, not sporty or practical gifts like a toaster oven or coffee maker. It is not how expensive the item is, but the type of gift it is. A typewriter can cost more than an inexpensive pair of earrings, and a computer, one would think, connotes love being such a costly item; but such presents come from the head, not the heart, and are not good signs of love at all. Therefore The Rule is that if you don't get jewelry or some other romantic gift on your birthday or other significant occasion, you might as well call it quits because he's not in love with you and chances are you won't get the most important gift of all: an engagement ring.
No one knows this rule better than Susan, who received a Sergio Tacchini sweat suit for Valentine's Day from Brian, her boyfriend of three months. When we told her the romance was over, she argued that the suit costs almost two hundred dollars and is very cool at the better country clubs. But we knew that Susan would have been better off with candy or flowers. Why? Because even though Brian's gift was expensive it was not romantic. When men are in love, they give love objects even if they are on a tight budget. Flowery jewelry, poetry, and weekend trips to the country are the kinds of gifts given by men in love. Sweat suits, books, briefcases, toasters, and other practical gifts are the kinds of things men give when they like you, care about you (like a sister), but don't really want to marry you. (Sure enough, Brian dropped Susan a few months later.)
Remember, gift giving has nothing to do with money. We know a poor student who could only afford a $1.50 greeting card for his girlfriend on Valentine's Day. He then spent four hours writing a beautiful love poem to her in it. A Rules present if there ever was one! As most women know, the time a man spends on anything is virtually priceless.
One more point about greeting cards: check to see if he signs "love." A man may sometimes send a greeting card with very casual intentions. If he doesn't sign it "lov^" don't assume he does. When Bobby was dating Cheryl, he signed his cards, "Yours, Bobby." (I just know he loves m^ she'd tell her friends.) They eventually had "a talk," and he told her he wasn't in love with her. So don't assume anything. Just read what's written!
Furthermore, while a romantic gift is a must for birthdays, Valentine's Day, and anniversaries, a man who is crazy about you will give you all kinds of things all the time. You're always on his mind, so you might get a stuffed animal he sees at a street fair or something kooky that's just perfect for you. For example when Patty expressed an interest in biking, her boyfriend Mike bought her a fancy helmet. If he didn't love her, he would have given her the helmet on her birthday, but being in love, he gave her a necklace and flowers on her birthday and the helmet to celebrate their six-month anniversary.
When you do receive gifts, don't overreact. When Lori received roses from Kevin on their third date she was absolutely ecstatic. She rarely had gotten flowers from anyone she liked, but she did The Rules thing to dq, she smiled, nonchalantly put them in a vase, and said, "Thank
In general, The Rule is that when a man loves you he just wants to give you things. Anything. If your glass is empty in a restaurant; he wants to give you water or promptly asks the waiter to get it. If you can't see the screen in the movie theater, he asks five people to move over to give you another seat. If he sees you digging in your bag for a pen, he lends you his and then tells you to keep it. Basically, he notices everything about you, except anything bad. If you're ten pounds overweight; he doesn't think you're overweight; he thinks you're cute. But if your girlfriend (whom he is not in love with) is the same size he thinks she's fat. When a man is not in love with you, he notices nothing or only the bad. For example he might say, "Lose weight and I'll take you on vacation." You feel you have to earn his love. That's not The Rules, that's conditional love and not what we're after.
Again, this is not about being gold diggers or princesses wanting to be doted on all the time. It's about determining whether a man is truly in love with you and, if not; going on to the next. If you end up marrying a man who gives you a briefcase instead of a bracelet on your birthday, you may be doomed to a life of practical, loveless gifts and gestures from him such as food processors, and you may spend thousands of dollars in therapy trying to figure out why there's no romance in your marriage.
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